I want to change my name in real life

[Mazarita]

Hi @Owlunar, missed your earlier post while I was posting my last one. I too like the strong and true relation you have to your names, and how they have worked for you in your life. The reason it took over a year for me to change my name was that I wanted it formally recorded on my birth certificate as well. So now, when I get a birth extract certificate from the state of my birth, it only shows my new name. Not sure if that was the process you went through. To actually use a new name though was fairly immediate for me. But I had to use that name for a year before I could have it changed on the birth certificate. Depends what state you are in too, I think, in that regard. Wow, amazing that we both changed our name the same year.

@MoonGal, so sorry you are sick from it today. Take it easy, gal. ox

[MoonGal]

Are you sure, MoonGal?

That you want to be a truth-sayer

freedom bringer, lamp lighter?

Are you ready to be shameless?

Are the dark parts of you

ready to dance in the light

for all the world to see

should they happen to look  there?

When you speak it reverberates.

You are a tuning fork finding pitch

with others who have

lived and felt the same shame.

A tolling bell calling the others

to dare.

There are others.

They will find you.

You will find them.

Declare and Pronounce

Shame Ends Here.

[utopia]

@MoonGal - sorry you are struggling today with the conflicting worries of writing your truth. I can't imagine how hard that is for you.
But I just want to say, to remind you, that your pseudonym will also be used for your powerful poetry, not just your story. Although I recognise that they are interlinked.
Take your time. Choose your pseudonym. Get your domain and website stuff done (sorry I don't understand any of that). Then start off with your posting your poetry and thoughts.
Save your story for days when you feel strongest. It will all come out over time. Just try not to push yourself too hard. Remember Rome wasn't built in a day. And you do not have to do everything at once.
I think you are an amazing woman. You will make it all happen in the right time

[MoonGal]

@utopia - thank you.

I shared a piece I had written (and am having published anonymously on a publisher's page for a project about recovery from sexual assualt) with a writing mentor and buddy (a man about 15 years older than me) and he was so powerfully overcome and affected by it he is traumatised. I have to think about that, about content warnings about how my writing may affect people. He kind of knew what was coming, but I don't think he was prepared for the brutal honesty of it all.

He said... "I sit in silence, pondering your words. Your story is proof of the great power the mind has to overcome horrible unspeakable acts if we will allow it to. What happened to you is tragic, a tragedy that was not your fault, no blame or shame on you. That is for the evil people who perpetrated the unspeakable on you. That you were able to find the resilience within to move forward is miraculous."

I hear you about my poetry, about my writing pieces and thoughts. I am also writing a book - and I am establishing this as the portal for the eventual self-publication of that book, the topic of the book is SO far removed from the content of my childhood! I wonder how I will divide up the website to accomodate the disp[arate topics.

Anyways - I do not feel sick anymore, it is morning sickness, I am about to give birth to a dragon. 

[utopia]

Your friends words are very true @MoonGal.

[MoonGal]

@Mazarita @utopia @Owlunar @Former-Member

Whoo Hoo! I have registered my domain name and set up hosting. I am on my way!

[utopia]

That's great news @MoonGal. I hope you will find strength in having this pseudonym, to share your story.

[Owlunar]

Hi @Mazarita

About the delay on the change of your name - I get that - I have a full birth certificate which includes details of my parents etc - but my extra-of-entry does not

And it is great we did that in the same year - I could hardly wait to change my married name - and my maiden name - I have actually hyphenated that to my new name to please my dad when I got something like a little article in a news paper or other current issues and when I have signed my name in all 5 memorial books for the deaths in my family since 2005 no less - 

But thinking about writing my son's story is too painful - I read Danielle's story His Bright Light about the troubled life and suicide of one of her kids and know why she wrote that and made myself read it but for lots of reasons decided -  no - I can't do that - I will take it to my grave - it is incredibly painful and it's story after all - not mine

But then - if I thought it would do any good I might change my mind - but I would use my non-de-plume if I did thar

Everything we do or don't affects the Universal Collective Unconscious (Carl Jung) it's hard to work through what that means - you might have already worked on that - so I have to think - even my thoughts not to write this has an effect on the future

I have already written under that name - and I used my own name when I first acted on the events surrounding my son's death - so that was pretty big and upset my famiy a lot

But whatever you do - that is your choice and yes - we do feel a need to protect those in the story and I understand that - in so many ways

All the best Maz

Dec

[Owlunar]

That's fantastic @MoonGal

Dec

[Owlunar]

Oh @MoonGal

I missed that you are preggers with a Baby Dragon - omstars - I did not have morning sickness at all and neither did my sister but my mother did all day long for 9 months with 3 of us - and I was old enough to remember the third one and wonder about that

How far along are you? I cannot imagine what that is like - I had a very sensitive pregnancy with a premature birth - had my legs crossed for 8 months and do not want to go through that again - but a constant nausea with whatever else - I am so sorry about that and hope you are nearly there

I guess the Dragon is not giving you much rest right now

Dec