I want to change my name in real life

[Former-Member]

Depending on your state if you want to change your name legally you can do so through consumer affairs; It's not as hard as you think. there are slight regulations in each state. But I don't think you can change your name via deed poll anymore.

[MoonGal]

@Mazarita and anyone else interested...

Crazywise is here: https://vimeo.com/ondemand/crazywise/

[Former-Member]

This should direct you based on your state.

https://www.australia.gov.au/information-and-services/family-and-community/births-deaths-and-marriag...

[utopia]

@MoonGal I think it's a very smart idea to use a pseudonym for a book and website. Privacy when having disclosed such powerful history of your childhood, is very important. You'll want to have some privacy - when you need it. And then use the pseudonym when wanting to discuss your work.
Being a book about a serious topic, you might want a more usual name.
I say go for it.

[MoonGal]

@Former-Member - thank you so much for being a friend and finding the right website and info for me to legally change my name, that was very helpful. 🌹

@utopia and @Mazarita - Last night I found a domain and hosting site that I like and they also have for just $10 a year a totally private DOmain registry entry. Where the Hosting company are named and their po box and email address are used, so that is good to know. I looked at their prices and packaging last night and talked to my lovely supportive partner and she said go for it. I left details for them to get back to me because I have some questions about their support etc, but it is Australian based servers and 3 x a day back up, so that is all good. I already manage a website in wordpress (hosted by an external company) and built that website from scratch (did my head in) So I have the skills, the time and the will.... BUT"....

This morning as I think about doing the website i am getting collywobbles in the stomach and woke up with a raging headache.... which might just be sinus or neck, but feels more like panicky tension...  and potentially putting as you say @utopia " ...such powerful history of your childhood" i WANT to be "brave and shameless", I want to sieze the #MeToo moment in history to speak truth to power about being a survivor... but I also do not want to snooker myself and create a monster lurking under my own bed to frighten myself daily that someone will find out who I am, and on the other hand I do not want to CARE what other people think, and that a real visceral and haunting life should not be hidden. Shining a light on the hidden is the only way to change the world for kids, women, people living with neuro-atypical brains and MI. I dunno. Anyways it is evident to me that I am in an altered state right now - BUT, often things I launch into in this state are lasting, interesting and creative and bring me lots of pleasure too.... F*ck it. Dunno. Watch and wait.... Time to come into the "present moment". Breathe. 🙂 (without hyperventilating!)

[Owlunar]

Hi @MoonGal

I absolutely had no trouble changing my name with anyone except my family and they eventually accepted it even if they didn't like it

Our names are such a big part of us - and personally - I think we can change anything about ouselves that we do not like - except of course our age, height and eye-colour - those things are not up for alteration - but none of them are as personal as our names

Think about people who have grossed themsevles out with botox and surgery they really physically do not need - maybe they feel that way psychologically - but they do it anyway

So - a name by any other name is still the person but I can tell you loudly and with pride

I AM REALLY HAPPY WITH THE NAME I HAVE NOW AND INTEND TO KEEP IT 

I've had it for 28 years now and I know a lot of different people and still get asked "What was your name?" - sometimes in a moment of frivolity I tell them my married name but then say - "You want to know what my name IS?"

Anyway - I published under another name - a registered nom-de-plume - though anyone could read it and still maybe recognize the history but that's not my problem

@Mazarita- I changed my name the same year you did - I took a day off work and went into the city and did the deed - ho ho - and it happened in that short time. I went to work the next day and they asked what I had done with my day off and I told them I had changed my name - wonderful - the whole office staff wanted to know and I had to tell them at the pay-office of course.

It was a pain telling all the agencies necessary but worth it and it be handy if someone wants to check my ID on the phone they asked me when I last legally changed my name - and I felt weird having and AKA when I went through divorce and property settlement

However I thought about my name to be for years and years and I can't see why anyone needs to worry - pick a name you like and use it - it's best to so so legally because of things like passports and medicare stuff but whose business is it?

Our name is a very personal thing and I feel better every morning waking up with a name I like

All the best with that though - I do understand

Dec

[Mazarita]

Good morning, @MoonGal,

The domain and hosting site sounds great. In fact I think, because I never put in a real address on my web registry entry, that my hosting company has now also put their business details on mine. I too wrote the code for my own website. Can't remember how I did it now as it was some years ago and I only retain the basics of html these days. Go girl that you will do that!

My personal perspective on brave and shameless is that it's worth having some self-protection boundaries too. If you feel something may frighten you every day, that seems like it could be counterproductive to me, and may need some safety measures first. On the other hand, it seems that a completely new name and domain connected to nowhere else is a fairly safe bet for keeping your anonymity. 

Another thing to consider though is whether you will be inviting comments and/or 'contact' options on the site or not. If so, be prepared for possible negative responses, as well as the supportive ones. I have had the experience of trolls and low level stalkers on the net and it isn't pleasant. Even when it has remained low level, it has been a nuisance at the least.

So maybe another day to take some deep breaths, slowly think through some of the variables, discuss them here and/or with real life friends and partner, and wait until you feel more sure of how you will proceed.

Personal perspective only from me, of course. I do understand too how things done in haste during slightly altered bipolar states can be inspired and long lasting. I have done those kinds of things many a time too.

Looking forward to the next instalment in your journey with this project. 

[MoonGal]

I will have a 'c o n t a c t  m e' field form only - not my actual 'e m a i l address' per se - but no 'comments' on anything, I have lived and learned where that is concerned @Mazarita on an earlier website I had. They get thousands of dumped spam about pharmacueticals and opportunities" too good to miss... No thanks!

I just threw up a few minutes ago - so yes, churning, time to do the dishes, clean the birdbath and refill it and take the doggits to the park. Staying present. 

Stay Tuned. LOL!

[MoonGal]

@Owlunar - you said it so proudly and true. I am very happy for you that in claiming your own chosen name you gave yourself a gift beyond the words themselves... Courage and a self. Thank you for sharing.

I realised my topic title here gave a wrong impression actually  - I searched in the forums for name change before I started the thread and saw only requests asking how to change our avatar names, so I meant when I said "In real life" that it wasn't a forum issue... oh the tangled webs we weave.

[Owlunar]

Thanks anyway @MoonGal

It is a very personal thing - and we need to really "love" our name and totally forget tradition and whatever goes along with "The Name"

But all the best 😁

Dec