Today is the anniversary of...

[Phoenix_Rising]

Today is the 14th of December. It is two years today since I graduated, which means it is also two years since I said goodbye to my awesome uni counsellor, K.

K came to my graduation because I had no one else to come and watch me. I spent most of the day in tears. It was truly awful. Twelve years of effort, to get a completely useless piece of paper. 

After the graduation ceremony, K and I had a picnic. We had planned it down to the smallest detail. We both knew that the goodbye was going to be so so SO hard. K pre-warned the campus security guys that there was a good chance they would see me in an extremely chaotic state, and that it was ok - they just needed to leave me to ride out the wave. 

We had our picnic and then it was time for the goodbye. K gave me a hug and kept telling me that it would be ok. Then, as we had planned, I set a slow breathing exercise playing on my phone, laid down on the picnic rug, and cried my heart out as K stood up and walked away. 

K was wrong. It hasn't been ok. I miss her. I miss her so so SO much. For my graduation, she gave me a necklace. It has a pendant on it that says: you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. For the first year after she left my world, I wore it all the time.

Last year, on this day, I was in extreme crisis partly due to therapist-take-seven having just dumped me, and partly because it was the first anniversary of the loss of K. I called K...because there was no one else to call. The call was not helpful. Two days before Christmas, I received a letter from K's boss, threatening me with legal action if I contacted K again. I haven't worn the necklace since. 

Everybody leaves my world. Two days ago my turtle whisperer dumped me, thus becoming the latest name on the long list of people who I have connected with and trusted, only for them to leave. My session with TTT went super well today. But how can I ever possibly trust again??? 

I miss K. I miss her so so SO much. It would help so much just to have one last conversation with her, to be able to tell her where I am at now. I so badly wish I could have one final conversation with her. It really doesn't seem that much to ask, but apparently it is. I miss her. I miss her SO much. 

@Former-Member @Former-Member @NikNik

[Former-Member]

Found this beautiful Christian song For those missing someone at Christmas
https://youtu.be/0yFXfAGl17M

[OhanaSystem]

thank you again @Phoenix_Rising fir directing us here to this thread.

tw: babyloss

today is the anniversary of the miscarriage in which we lost our son. it was 23 years ago but has never stopped hurting. his name is mykelti noah.

(*we may come and write more on this later tonight.)

[Ant7]

To Day is 5th of May my sons birthday. He would have been 22. He was still borne.
So today is the hardest day of my year as it has been for the last 22 years. He was our first child so it should have been the best day of our life’s. Thanks for reading
❤️ Ant7 😥

[Snowie]

@Ant7hearing you

Sorry for your loss, time may pass but it never gets any easier 

[frog]

Thinking of you @Ant7 That's a very sad loss, and I hope you have good people around you today 

[Ant7]

@Snowie @frog thanks for your kind thoughts and words ❤️

[Maggie]

@Ant7 Lost for words. 💜💜💕💛

[Queenie]

I'm sorry to read about your son @Ant7. Time sometimes isn't the magic healer we hope it to be. I hope you are being gentle with yourself xx

[OhanaSystem]

so soryy for your loss @Ant7. i know it's a day later b ut we are remembering your little boy with you.