My Hospital Stay

[oceangirl]

Hi again @Former-Member

I hope you can recharge your batteries over the weekend, how long is this term?

I am doing a bit bette then last wk, thanks for asking..

[Former-Member]

Thanks for the update @utopia,

im so glad you've got a bit longer. I think MH support is being trimmed at every level everywhere unless you can afford top dollar for it. It's so sad but I'm so glad common sense prevailed for you.

it was good to read of your aha-ish moment. It's giving you something to work towards which is what it feels like you needed so desperately at the moment. I hope the next few days help provide some support and relief that gives you the strength to keep on fighting. 

Sending you a daily dose of native Australia and hoping your day is ok. 💜🤗💐

(Another grevillea 😊) 

[Former-Member]

Hi @utopia - I'm so happy for you getting those extra days. I hope it makes a big difference. Our stories are so similar. I got told recently that I was my own worst enemy among other things for continuing my case against my employer and that I should just suck it up or walk away. I'm the same in that I want them to pay for what they did to me - bullying and discrimination against someone they knew was suicidal and severely depressed but they targetted me and tried to force me out for no other reason than I had a mental illness, there was never an issue with my performance. If we don't stand up for what is right it will just keep happening - organisations need to be accountable for how they treat their staff. I have nothing to lose any more, this has already come very close to costing me my life. I agree that we can't expect organisations to have the same morals or values as we do but we can fight for change. Sorry for the hijack, enjoy the sunshine and take care of yourself.

And I want new legislation drawn up that clearly spells out the responsibility of Workplaces to protect the mental health of their staff.
I was asked why again.
I said all my life I have had a passion, a drive, to protect the vulnerable, those being mistreated.
Then the Fascilitator asked - is it worth the constant damage to my mental health? And is there another way I can fight or be an advocate for Mental Health - that won't harm me - & maybe someone 'stronger' or not living with mental health could fight the harder fight.
Well bugger me.
It made sense. A lot of sense.
People / organisations don't or won't react the way we want or expect them to. If we (me) keep expecting their core values and morals to be the same as mine - then I will keep being disappointed and hurt.
It sounds right.
It sounds like a good form of self care.
I still have this desire to see my ex employer pay for what they did to me & to prevent them from doing it to others in the future.
So I'm going to have to really think seriously about this. And maybe talk through the pros and cons a bit more.

[Owlunar]

Hi @Former-Member

I understand what you mean about pushing for recognition and changes even that the cost of your own mental and physical health - I have done something similar - and I did it for 10 years

So - that was enough - it would have been worse for me then and now if I had not done that - I am glad I did because it was recognised - other people were involved and it all is so much better now

And after 10 years - I had done enough - now and again I will get worked up about the subject - but it has to be left up to other people now - though I check from time to time about what is happening there - like Forest Gump when he stopped running - all the other people running could do whatever they chose - I had done enough

I guess you will reach that stage

Hi @utopia - my friend of the big-bird shoulder-sitting organisation - I am glad you have got a little extra time in hospital and I so hope you can get more - it is so strange that they make it so hard for people - it doesn't help at all

Sending more virtual hugs

Dec

[utopia]

Day 8.
I've had my sleeping med anhour ago so we will see if this post makes sense.
You guessed it - woke up to my psychiatrist at the end of my bed again. I'm wondering if I dribble, snore, fart or talk in my sleep &that he finds it all entertaining.
He told me again that Monday is the day Workcover has given me too. And that he doesn't believe they will even give me an extra day. So to try to focus on Monday being the day I leave. He reiterated that I can't drink alcohol again /anymore as it messes with my depression too much and makes it too hard to come out of that vortex.
That was it. No plan for going home or what I'm to do.
I had a big cry on the ph to my mum today. She is concerned there is no plan and think I should find a new psychiatrist when I'm home. I told her that even if I am feeling better than I was last week - that I still can't handle having my son home with me. That I don't want to be a parent at the moment. That's a very hard thingto admit to most ppeople - especially my mum. She said that's okay. He will just stsy with her for however long it takes me to feel stronger.
But the guilt on what I think my son will feel on why he isn't coming home - tares me up. I imagine him hearing or thinking that I don't want him. And how truly devastating that would feel for him.
I did have a great talk with another patient today about my 'other mother' - my friend who died last year. It was a great talk because it was focused on what a beautiful unique lady she was and how grateful I was to have had her in my life even for a short time.
I then went to Art group and created a butterfly in memory of her.
Later when the nurse asked me how I was doing - it dawned on me that for about 3 hours today - I actually felt a really positive, feel good emotion and that I don't think I've honestly fekt one for a few months.
I got down again later when another patient was asking to many personal questions that were bringing up hard memories.
But I'm focusing on the fact that for 3 hours I had genuine calming happy feelings.
So maybe tomorrow I can focus on some other'happy' memories.
So I feel that I'm turning a courner. And that brings me hope that eventually - I will get to a better place.
Thank you all for your kind thoughts & @Former-Member my beautiful native pictures and other stunning gardens and landscapes sent from others.
I hope everyone has a peaceful nights sleep.
I'm going to close my eyes now and think of my other mother/my friend & hopefully drift off eith some lovely memories filling my head.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♡

[Owlunar]

Hi @utopia

I am glad you have had some positive moments- they snuck up on you hey - oh wow

But they are sending you home - without a plan - it doesn't seem enough and deep down inside I feel a terrible sorrow - and not just for you -  but for all the people caught in the system that is failing people who need the help - you were injured at work in some way and it seems to me that it lacks insult to injury that you can't have more time in hospital

About your son - I hear what you are saying - I did indeed have similar thoughts with my son - there were times when I wanted to hand him back - but of course - that didn't happen - it was the worst of my times when that occurred and no - it's not terrible - it is the way it is - you are not up for the hardest job in the world - being a mother - we get no training for that one - no work-cover - no weekends - no holidays - no sick pay - in fact no pay - no time out and pretty few compliments

Your Mum sounds great though - she has stepped up to the mat

So - yes - you do have someone understanding this

I think your son might be old enough to understand if you sit with him and tell him that you need this time because you are ill - and no one can see your illness but it is real - just as pain can't be seen but is real. Let him know it is not his fault - being a parent is hard work and right now - you can't

You can't drink any more alcohol - that is a fact - I would not blame you in anyway - but that is it - it sends you off into a worse place - but have they given you any help with de-toxing or are you supposed to handle this yourself? Do you go to AA? I am on your side and hate asking this - but without judgment at all - it seems tough to have to stop that - but stop it you must

Where is the help that would help you? How I wish I really had something useful to say

Lots of virtual hugs

Dec

[Faith-and-Hope]

❤️💕 @utopia .....

[oceangirl]

@utopia

[Former-Member]

Hello @utopia

I wont take up too much of your time.

Whilst I was in hospital, a few patients mentioned that they have a community nurse who visits. This is generally organised via a referral from your psychiatrist.

Speak to a helpful nurse, if you feel up to it. You might be able to do it through your gp if there is not enough time due to the weekend. The hospital should be assisting you with a going home plan as part of their duty of care. Were you given any pamplets when you were admitted? The nursing staff would know about this.

Also there are mental health plans for pschologists paid by medicare that can be drawn up by your gp.

It is important that you feel supported after hospital discharge.

You also have a lot of support on here which is helping you too. all the best xxx

[Former-Member]

@utopia

my head is all over the place and my previous message is a little jumbled i feel.

1. speak to nurse in hospital re discharge plan at home care... mental health community nurse available?

2. talk to nurse at hospital about your feeling no support on leaving hospital.

3. gp can refer you to a psychologist under a mental health care plan paid by medicare at no cost to yourself.

hope this makes sense this time xxx