Life can be a Pain

[BlueBay]

Hi @Owlunar 

im sorry I don't know what to say 

I feel for you 

sending you a big warm hug 

xxxooo

[Owlunar]

thanks @BlueBay 

I am disappointed with my daughter - maybe she is feeling sorry for herself with her spinal problems - she feels safe about lashung out at me - I am a forgiving person and I love her.

I am okay - the bruise in my heart will fade and time will pass 

However - I will not enable this behaviour again. 

Take good care of yourself and enjoy the beach while you can

Dec

[Zoe7]

Hey @Owlunar You don't necessarily need to tell your daughter the impact her words have if you know yourself that nothing will change - continue to be yourself and know you are who you want to be - whatever issues your D has are hers to deal with. Hold your head high - it hurts but we cannot change how others present themselves. Well done also on taking a stand for yourself with both her and your complaints ...nothing changes if we accept the status quo and do not stand up for wht is right and fair.

Hugs and hugs Hon 

[BlueBay]

Hi my forum mum @Owlunar 

how are you tiday? 
I'm not feeling great. Yesterday started getting upper abdo psin and burning pain too. 
I walked this morning snd rested most of the day. It rained the sunny the rained the sunny. Strange day.

I'm actually ready for bed now but have to eat dinner still. Hubby went to shops to buy dinner. 
take care Dec xxxooo

[Owlunar]

You are right @Zoe7  - I will not challenge my daughter at this stage - I think she probably got the picture when I terminated the phonecall - that must have been a frustrating little demonstration of the power I have all the time -  strength I know how to use - I have lived long enough and as a self-examing person I know my faults - I know my own past. 

My daughter though - she is a bit more self-satisfied. We are both battling pain and disability atm. After I chat with her on the phone I often feel she expects I could do more - I am doing my best. She has a lot to learn and she can take her time. I can allow that

I will not enable a litany of insults again though - I will stop her - then I will tell her she is out of line - maybe she will learn enough through these last days - 5 days now. And I can't talk right now - bad laryngitis - I have been talking too much with inflamed vocal cords, It's better she keeps her distance

No one is the world is more important to me. I am so lucky to have her. I had trouble conceiving and then trouble to continuing the pregnancy - I spent most of  her gestation sitting down and had a cervical suture - and I lasted 8 months - and she has been a little ray of sunshine most of the time. Like everyone she has her moments. And she has what my uncle calls a "forgettory" - she can forget things she chooses to. Everyone should have one but I don't. I remember - I don't think that's a fault but it can be hard to get past things at times

I am glad to have your comments - thanks Zoe

Dec

[Zoe7]

@Owlunar It took me a long time to stand up to my Mum and tell her when things she did and said to me were not okay ...and we have a much better relationship now because of that. It is a little different of course with your daughter but the underlying premise is the same - knowing who we are, knowing our limits, standing up for ourselves and refusing to enable that behaviour all holds true. It hurts but you are drawing the line and staying true to yourself 💖💖💖

[Owlunar]

Thanks @Zoe7 

I think I made myself plain with my daughter - I put up a boundary - I never have done this in her case. I will maintain it - I sometimes wonder where her sulkiness comes from but then - there's my mother

I wrote to my parents - I forget when - during the 90s - and had the letter vetted by my psychologist - it was a good one. It was not well received however and it was some time before I was allowed back in the family. Dad wanted me to come to his 80th birthday and most of the famiy was there - it was a good day

But my mother never gave up her position - I think she never understood the child with the spirit I was born with - her loss - her regrets - I am sorry she died with such regret but after all - she did cherish her grudges

Perhaps I am the person I have become because of her spite. Who knows? - I survived her and it was not a competition but rather - I had to find my feet in a strange family. I was always accepted by my father's family however though I rarely have contact except with my youngest cousin who lives in Canada.

My Hobart relatives are seriously ill - my aunt has pancreatic cancer - my cousin will be giving me more details after he has had phone contact - I wish I could fly there - my health is improving but I am still not 100% - I would have two quarantine for 2 weeks and I will be having my booster in a couple of weeks.  It's a bit weird but weird is what it is

Thanks again @Zoe7 - you are a very wise person and I appreciate that

Dec

[Shaz51]

Hello and hugs my second mum @Owlunar 

I have missed you  and glad you are here xoxo 

Sooo much is going on at the moment,  it is crazy 

Wish I could take all your pains away xxx

I am on injections now for my diabetes  and had my Fistual mapping done in my arm 

Now we have lost 3 of our regular jobs this year that we will not have next year 

Thinking of not rebuilding and keeping the money for the future 

@Zoe7 , @BlueBay , @Emelia8 

[BlueBay]

That's probably a wise decision my lovely sis @Shaz51  just take one step at a time. 
hugs xxxooo

[Shaz51]

Very true my sister xoxo @BlueBay 

Having injections once a week and having some side effects at the moment @Owlunar 

Feeling yuk most of the time 

Looks like less work for us , have to be careful