Difficulty telling people how I really feel.

[Sahara]

I had a bit of an ah-ha moment yesterday.

I called out someone on their sexist and agist advertsing on a community notice board - and their ad got taken down! 

I was so conflicted- and I know that it was really such a small thing, but for me it was epic. Becuase I've had problems in the work-place in the past, suffered massive amonts of anxiety over my worth as a human being....

Part of me was saying "please don't make waves... this is really none of your business" while the other part of me was saying, very strongly "if you see an injustice, you should fight against it" (actually the Dalai Lama's words).

My heart was thumping in my chest- honestly, I thought my heart was going to break through my rib-cage and bound out of my body on it's own!! It was beating that loudly. I was really aware of it, but I just let myself feel it and stay with it. I kind of thought "Wow, this is obviously such a huge thing for me. I kind of have to do it."

Afterwards, I just went for ride on my bike and had a coffee in town. It was kind of cool. Normally, after doing something so confronting I would hide in the house for the afternoon. But this time I just got out and about and I basically felt ok. 

It was pretty miraculous. I really do feel good today.

[Faith-and-Hope]

So well done @Sahara ...... good for you ❣️🎉

[Sahara]

Thanks @Faith-and-Hope!

the next chapter to this story is even more interesting. I recently got a job- a really basic, entry-level job doing menial tasks.  One of my co-workers told me that the job doesn't pay award rates for the weekends. I thought to myself "Here we go again. This town is really living in the dark ages. No-one seems to pay you properly here."

So today, being the first time I'd ever had to work a weekend day, I printed out all the correct rates of pay for my job from the Fair Work Commission website. I walked into the office and went over it with my boss. I was really nice about it. 

Well.... you can imagine her reaction!! 

Gradually, she raised her voice higher and higher. Then she demanded my co-worker come straight to the office and tell her what was going on. Then she became verbally abusive towards me. My co-worker was crying by this time. (I felt a bit sorry for my co-worker- of course, she didn't want this to happen.)

Then my boss tried to fire me - saying "You are no longer required here. This is not going to work out."

I replied that "It's not lawful under the Fair Work Act to fire someone for asking to be paid correctly." To which she became incredulous. Obviously she could not believe that a worker would know her rights! 

She yelled at me again and even used the "f" word and so I stated "You're abusive"

Then I decided to go. I just handed her the Fair Work paperwork that I'd printed out and left the office and came home.  I said "Well, I'll leave these here for your reference, then."

Funny thing is that I actually feel quite good. I did the right thing. I'm glad to be out of there. I stood up for myself and I'm so glad I did. I would do it all again. 

@Former-Member, you might be interested in this. xx

[Faith-and-Hope]

@Sahara, not that I know much about it ..... but if you contact Fair Trade you might be entitled from some compensation from this employer ...... and not for the money so much, but at the moment she has gotten away with treating people like this (with a dent in her arrogance now, thanks to you) ..... but it actually costing her for abusing employees like that is what the laws are there for ...... and it will stop her abusing anyone else using the f-word if it's gonna ricochet into her hip pocket any time she does ......

Well done you ❣️

🎉💃

[Faith-and-Hope]

P.S. @Sahara ...... you might have to change the title of this thread ..... jus' sayin' ...... 😆

[Former-Member]

@Sahara

I can see your point,the only thing is for the past two years I have had to deal with matters on principal,put a complaint in and lost on every occasion.

One was selling the family farm ,which I can't discuss because it triggers me greatly,the other was the fact that my mother had a face to face with a customer service person at a bank two years ago when she took out car insurance.I was driving us somewhere last year when a object,I think was a tryre hit us did over a thousand damage to the front bumper.I discovered my mother had a insurance policy with no additional drivers.I have drove it for years if we take that car,and it seemed obvious that customer service representative failed to ask my mother "if anyone else drives your car?".My mother is capable of answering this.The bank gave me a complaint form.I felt I'll,if I had a accident and hit someone's car,we could've lost the house.

The complaint went nowhere.The local branch admitted someone failed,but the head honcho failed to acknowledge it.

The real estate,I complained to the Department of Fair Trading,lost that as well,and I had several things on the b****,as including deception under the supposed ACTS they follow.This contributed greatly to my depression last year.Department of Fair Trading is known to protect Real Estates and have been under scrutiny.

You did the right thing @Sahara,but what I'm saying is it's a world out there,I don't understand as we learn all these "principals" that mean nothing.I suggest you do what @Faith-and-Hope suggest.

Some do get away with it unfortunately.

[Faith-and-Hope]

They might get away with it @Former-Member ...... but I wouldn't want to be living in their skin ..... ☹️

[Former-Member]

@Faith-and-Hope,I can't go near that estate agent or her business,I could *** her,major trigger.Im so angry that they have good fortune and I don't,can't talk about it any more.

[Faith-and-Hope]

I can believe it @Former-Member ......

Try to imagine her as a really, really butt-ugly shirt that someone that came and put itself on you ...... unbutton her, take her off, and don't "wear" her ...... take that ugly shirt, in your mind's eye, drop it into one of those old metal rubbish bins with any other rubbish you can find in your life, and burn the lot ......

Sometimes doing a mental exercise like that can help, and that new image can over-write any thoughts of her as they arise ..... like ..... "okay, back into the bin with you ..... !!" each and every time ......

It's a way of refusing you o even give her brain space. She doesn't deserve it, and you don't either .......

♥️♥️♥️

[Former-Member]

It doesn't help @Faith_and _Hope,that's been the biggest lesson past few years,as stated,side of life and human behaviour I don't like.