SANE Online Forums

Hi @Sans911

I hear you - I remember many years ago when I was told that we choose the way we feel I was astounded - my son was in a lot of trouble and I was anxious - about just about everything concerning him - and I was told to stop being silly - how stupid is that?

Now - so many years later I know that all our feelings are valid - they may not always be sound - which means whatever our feelings are they are very real for us but they may not be based on truth - and this is a big difference from being told we choose to have whatever we are having

Ultimately just about everything we do is based on choice - if someone decides to sit in a chair all day and stare at a wall they are choosing to do it - but what is causing them to feel as if that is all they can do - well they are not choosing that - so pass that on to SH I guess and the main idea is to find out what is causing a person to feel so bad they make dangerous choices - that sounds better to me.

It's true that criticism and invalidation happen - and it hurts like the blazes and I have had a fair serve myself - but yeah - it's rotten and no one has to like it

It takes a long time to learn to be selective in when to harden one's heart and feel less or to remain open to the world and suffer the pain of it - 

Of course the pain we feel is real and no one has to like it - we are entitled to feel miserable too - and it is a fake idea that we have to be happy all the time - basically - but being unhappy all the time is part of life for some people too and I doubt anyone can choose to feel that way. It happens

I find you to be a sensitive and caring person Sans - and some people - even therapists - really haven't got a clue about real life

People here do though

Dec

It might be hard to catch all my ideas