when is it time for hospital

[outlander]

Lol @Former-Member
See you tomorrow im feeling pretty worn out so ill be asleep myself soon too

[Anony18]

Hi @outlander - am hoping you are asleep and are managing get the well deserved rest you need. I have seen a few things you talked about

1) Glad you got the relevant diagnosis so you can try work on how to manage those various mental illness. Getting the right diagnosis is a good start. Though the recovery or coping mechanisms may not be immediate at least it's the start point...if that makes sense. 

2) sorry hear your mum and her bf are still not supportive even after you checked yourself in to hospital. It is hard to recover when they are not being supportive which is what you need. Know that you are always free to come on these forums and talk to us. We are all here for one another 🙂

3) Your friend appears to want to help you out however it was not right of her to be pushy that way. I, myself, have pushy friends who I end conversation with yeah I will do it just to shush them up. I don't actually do it because isn't something I am comfortable doing yet. So if you aren't comfortable don't call her mate just yet, only do it when you feel like it. 

I hope you having a great rest my dear friend 💕

[Owlunar]

Hi @outlander

However dark it seems to you - you are not an evil spirit and you are not a bad person nor a loser

Your mother doesn't appreciate you and really she is a user and abuser and her boyfriend seems to be in charge and no woman should let a man be in charge of her children.

You do indeed have the short end of the short straw - let's hope we can help you work your way out of that confusing household and find your own feet - but I also read your list of triggers - oh boy

You are worn thin - things have happened to you that are overwhelming and I feel you have not been cared for and loved through that time - even now - just being told those things did not happen to you

Well - they did - and your list of triggers shows that - gee - I wish I could have thought up good things to have said yesterday

Lots of hugs

You have lots of friends here - you are loved

Dec

[Owlunar]

Hi @Former-Member

---

@Li1 wrote:

No it's not outlander but we have to make the most of what we have .I hate being with a disability job provider because there's others with physical disabilities.My disability is the fact that  I am simply not good enough.

---

It's true that we have to make the most of what we have but I am so sad that you feel you are simply not good enough - you are certainly good enough - to be here with the Forum Family to begin with

What is that you feel you are simply not good enough for? Is it work? Maybe you could think of it as being not well enough for a full time job. I can't commit myself for a full time job - but that's because of my health - not that I don't want to or any other reason. We need to be able to commit ourselves to work when we take a job - 

I wish you the best - I have read a lot of what you have written and you are a thoughtful person

Dec

[outlander]

@Anony18 ❤
Thankfully i was asleep. Rare moment there.
1. Yes having the diagnosis is good and will help me understand what is happening. Im wondering if this disorder is going to continue to get worse or if ill be able to manage it better now.... and yeah it all makes sense :ok_hand:
2. I cant believe it either. Its only been as of tomorrow 3 weeks since ive been out. Feels alot longer but only like yesterday i was there. I dont even know how that works.
3. The pushy friend of mine ive had to fo that too many times. Most of the time if i dont bring up the subject then she won't meantion it again. I just have to learn to shut my mouth before i say it in the first place

Thank you for your support ❤❤❤

[outlander]

@Owlunar
I feel like a very evil spirit. I want to feel normal again back when i was 5 or 6 but i cant expect that after the endless trauma hey.
My mother snd her bf just p**s me off most of the time. It really does frustrate me and the fact that they lied to me doesnt help the case either. Who tells some one in hospital that im sn attention seeking bi**ch then goes and blames it in me then says i have their support and are making an effort but when i leave its all the same. Hmm dont know whre the logic is there.

No @Owlunar i was the castout castaway whatever u wanna call it. In the whole time things were happening or during my nans passing or any traumas not one person asked me how i was going even while i was standing there in blood soaked clothes. Nope im fine dont worry about me.
Oh yes the triggers list that was done last night got a few more to add to it as theyve popped into my head this morning plus thats not my sexusl abuse triggers included there either

[outlander]

Thank you for your support too @Owlunar means alot ❤

[Owlunar]

I know @outlander - what kind of mother lies to you and about you? - my was like that - whew - I am glad I have got past all of that. I have a pretty good idea what it feels like - not what you feel like - how could I? But I know what it's like to have your mother lie - really bad

One would imagine we could turn to our mothers but alas - some of us cannot and never could

I think your mother blames you for being there but then - tells you every one is depending on you - that is really weird.

You have a right to be here just as everyone else does - what your mother does and the way she treats you is wrong.

I care about you - worrying about you would not help but caring - yes - that does - I know when I am cared about - and that is a good feeling.

But the way your mother spoke to you in hospital - aw - that has to sting - wow

Dec

[Former-Member]

Dec, outlander and everyone else

Thanks,been good for a few days,but anxiety is high atm.I friended a bloke from supposedly Florida months or more back .Don't usually do it but his profile looked honest.....Not.He messenger me that night, and because it's my mother's Facebook page I managed he wanted a photo.I don't have any of me,only when I need drivers license or identity done.I took a picture of my RSA card which has my photo on it.He wanted my mobile number or to ring and /txt I said no because of international roaming charges and I told him I was unemployed,then he stopped.Also gave him email address.

Get on Facebook this morning the photo of that name is a Asian male.I msg him and told him what a pathetic low person he was and he replied F*** you".Then I was wound up at 5 this morning,worried about my identity and my mother's being theft.Deactivated Facebook,rang the Police who said the same,and rang the bank just to flag them.The b****** was that clever,if I went to block that profile,didn't exist ,pressed on the profile picture and he obviously knows his pathetic stuff.

I feel so stupid and shitty with myself that I did that,I know the warnings and I knew better.

At the moment Dec,I feel low ,when your anxiety is high it does make things look very bad.

[Anony18]

Although a rare moment @outlander, it is a good moment. Try not to think about whether it will continue to get worse. Try to think in small pockets and steps, ie what is next step, or next goal. Once you reach there, then ok what next. If unfortunately you don't succeed, be kind to yourself and try again. What you have is not easy to handle and each person deals with it differently. What works for one may not work for the other. There is no quick fix. Small steps.

With your pushy friend, I think just keeping what you tell her to the minimum is best, especially if you know what she is like. It is tough because you would like a friend in person confide in and be non-judgmental and just hear you out.

@Former-Member - sorry to hear what happen. Do not get shitty with yourself. What happened to you happens to the best of us. It is quite a common thing that does happen in the world unfortunately. Just be aware for future. The people who we should be mad at are these frausters who are trying fool us! They are the people that make it hard for us to trust anyone these days.