Dissociation (CPTSD) from client aggression (work)

[Adge]

There has been unexpected hurdles & great resistance from my work managers - to my request to not work Tuesdays.

First it was claimed that I must continue to work Tuesdays because it's in my contract - when my contact already excludes Tuesdays.

Now they have requested a written explanation of why (how) Tuesday was excluded from the re written contract - even though that was their decision to do that not mine.

This was the Request - as suggested by my psychologist:

I am finding it too difficult to schedule my personal appointments whilst working five days per week, with a changing work schedule.

I've had to cancel a number of important appointments, which is the source of quite a bit of stress.

I am going to need to stop working one day per week so that I can manage appointments & other necessities better.

I am not officially contracted to work on Tuesdays, so Tuesdays off may work best for you (& for me).

I understand that it may take a week or two to action this, & that it probably requires a change in availability form - which I don't have a form for yet.

Sorry for any disruption or inconvenience - this request is long overdue.

My psych said she thinks that my request (to work) was excellent & well-considered, in how I wrote it. It will come at a loss of almost 1/4 of my weekly income (which is already low).

I am hopeful of positive outcome (somehow).

Adge

[Faith-and-Hope]

I hope ao too for you @Adge .... 💕

[Adge]

Thanks @Faith-and-Hope, I appreciate it.

I've not been in a good state - my distress, despair & heightened anxiety (emotional flashbacks) have been intense & overwhelming.

Which triggers further dissociation, & inability to think or act clearly.

I'm hanging in there, it's rough.

Adge

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hearing you @Adge .....

Are you seeing a therapist for support ?

🌿💕

[Adge]

Yes @Faith-and-Hope, thanks for asking.

Sometimes it seems like so long between appointments, even though it's really only a few weeks.

Phoning a support (crisis) phone line sometimes helps (which my psych encouraged me to do) - although when dissociated I often cannot articulate the words (express myself), to be able to make the phone call.

Adge

[Adge]

Hi everyone.

I'm still trying to get a new job that's not in disabilities.

Due to the constantly changing schedule (hours & location) - unhygienic conditions giving me frequent illness, & violent client behavior (which has caused me injury).

Also the driving such long distances every day (about 120 kilometres).

My psychologist sees & acknowledges the on-going stresses of my work situation (& of all my recent jobs over the past 6 years).

Which she believes are repeatedly re triggering my PTSD symptoms.

Unfortunately there have been some major set-backs.

My MH Support Worker has so far been asking & expecting me to apply only (or largely) for more jobs in the same disability field - despite my explanations that this is not suitable, & that it would repeat the current situation (just in a new job).

I have even explained to my MH sppt wkr that my psychologist believes that disability & aged care work is not suitable for me.

I have over 9 years experience in disabilities & aged care - but that's not the point.

No success so far. No support to find something more sustainable.

Adge

[Adge]

My work region (east metro) has suddenly been merged with another region (south?), & the branch manager was made redundant (accepted a redundancy package) - she left without notice, & no goodbyes.

The new regional base of operations will be located much further away, when my current work base is already a very long drive from home.

I have lost a lot of sleep, every night this past week - due to heightened anxiety & troubled thoughts.

Dissociation is more of an issue at the moment, as a result of stress.

I need a break, I haven't had a holiday (time off) of more than one week in several years. I cannot deal with any more of these unexpected legistical hurdles.

I've applied for time off (several weeks), although I felt I had to give work one month's notice - I don't know if I can hold out that long.

It's an online leave application process - since there is no manager now at the moment, I don't know who will see my leave application to (hopefully) approve it...

Adge

[Adge]

Hi everyone.

It was surprising to find that I have experienced at least 14 of the listed causal events for PTSD (iRest PTSD Program) – some of them several times, or over a prolonged period.

About the only events that I have not experienced are Armed combat, war, or a natural disaster.

I didn’t realise that you can have only one or two of the symptoms (listed) on a regular basis, & still have PTSD – I experience nearly all of the symptoms on a regular basis.

Adge

[Adge]

Hyper-vigilance is the other end of the pendulum (spectrum) from dissociation. Most people with PTSD have both at some point.

I find that the unpredictability & stress of working with challenging behaviours (clients) at work repeatedly triggers hyper-vigilance.

Then I come home to living alone, with no company or face to face support of my own - after supporting other people throughout each day.

The last few days have been especially hard. Despair & hopelessness.

Self-care is very very hard, when so utterly drained.

Adge