Dissociation (CPTSD) from client aggression (work)

[Adge]

@moderater

[Fancy_Pants]

Hi @Adge

I have emailed you...

[Adge]

Thanks @Fancy_Pants.
I'm safe. There's just me.
I was hoping for some input, exchange of ideas or sharing responses.
Thanks.
Adge

[Former-Member]

Hello @Adge

I just read through your post from the other day. That sounded like a really tough weekend, especially with your kitten being destructive, that sounds very frustrating about the kitty litter, have they not been toilet trained or something? I have a cat and have grown up with them and usually they are toilet trained or sometimes it takes trying some different things in the litter as they have their preferences, whether it's crystal, clay or recycled newspaper, my cat currently likes the crystal the best.

How are you feeling today? I hope you have been able to get some rest, it sounds ike you are doing a great job trying to reach out for support even when you find it difficult to type and function in a conversation, that must not be easy.

Lunar 🙂

[Adge]

Thanks so much @Former-Member.
I've got to go to work now so cannot properly reply.
I'm highly agitated (feeling stressed) & having great difficulty focusing or being functional at the moment.
Cat is litter trainined but now won't use the tray.
Thanks.
Adge

[Owlunar]

Hi @Adge

Thanks for explaining your dissociation to me - I can't imagine what that is like - I am half-Irish and was born with the gift of the gab

But yes - I can understand that problem -

I think you need a break from kittens - I have had a lot of cats over the years - and sometimes it is necessary to get a new one - at this moment the cat might be responding to your dissociation - hard one to answer but I know cats - and it is worth having one

I had an old cat many years ago - who was a stray and just did not know how to tell us she wanted to go outside - in those days my cats lived outside or went out when they let us knows - but that old stray was welcome but was never litter trained. It was a problem and embarrassed the cat as well

The cat I have now is old and really cross with me at times - she has not recovered from my break at Lakes Entrance a few weeks back - and I have not been well for a couple of weeks and she can drive me crackers - and I get that the relationship between you can your cat can be a problem - I really do get it

You can stick it out with the kitten - maybe she just wants different litter - I have done that myself with this cat - when she was young - and she likes clumpling clay - it's worth the try

My post is trivial - I know this - but I feel that my rattling off might be useful for you - I know cats

I wish you the best

Dec

[Former-Member]

That's okay @Adge Hope work is going okay for you today.

That is strange your kitten isn't using the tray, is there anywhere they can go outside or even on a puppy mat, sometimes they like that?

It must be challenging not being able to focus and feeling quite agitated, have you been working on that with your counsellor or pscyhologist to work on ways to manage that or avoid things that trigger it?

Thinking of you,

Lunar

[Adge]

Thanks @Owlunar Yes that was helpful, not rattling off at all

My 6 month old Jelly cat's behaviour seems to be a behaviour problem (stubbornness), I've been told. Because she always used the litter tray until a few months ago.

Changing all the litter again may help, even though it's damp but not dirty. That helped briefly, a few weeks ago.

Thanks @Former-Member I haven't had Jelly cat outside at all yet, but I maybe need to try that soon.

My psychologist is aware of my increased dissociation & heightened anxiety (& agitation) - that's been going on for many weeks now.

However I don't seem able to get her to understand the severity of it (recently), & that fact that it's virtually "blanking my mind out" (rendering me largely non-functional).

Deep breathing is one of the few strategies that I have, which is very hard to practice whilst out.

Sorry, I'm off back to work (Disabilities) now. Will write more soon.

Adge

[Adge]

@OwlunarI love your new owl avatar picture.

Yes it's possible that Jelly puss's pooing on the floor & destroying documents by shredding them into little pieces (plus emptying the bin out all over the floor) - are attempts to get my attention.

Unfortunately that behaviour just stresses me out, & gets her negative attention (being told off), though she hasn't stopped doing it.

@Former-MemberYes triggers are a good point. The on-going stresses of working with aggressive & unpredictable people (who have kicked, punched & injured me over the last few weeks) - has been triggering on a daily basis.

It's definitely contributing to (or causing) my increase in dissociation, greater anxiety & feeling agitated.

So far I've not been given (& haven't found) effective strategies for managing it.

I am only told my work shedule (via sms) for each day at 4pm (the afternoon before), & it changes (hours & client etc) on a daily basis. That's incredibly hard to deal with, because any personal appointment (Doctor etc) that I make is often then cancelled, due to work.

The long-term avoidance (or management) strategy is to find a new job (preferably not in disabilities). That's proving difficult, since I'm often collapsing from exhaustion (or struggle with dissociation) when I get home from work.

So far, despite efforts, I've been unable to consistently apply for new jobs - or get an interview yet. I've been in this job for 10 months, & back in the disability field for 5 years (9 years in total).

Thank you all for your replies - responding (writing) to your posts has given me the opportunity to express more of what's been happening. Which already seems to be helping me to feel more connected, & less isolated.

Adge

[Owlunar]

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@Adge wrote:

Thanks @Owlunar Yes that was helpful, not rattling off at all

My 6 month old Jelly cat's behaviour seems to be a behaviour problem (stubbornness), I've been told. Because she always used the litter tray until a few months ago.

Changing all the litter again may help, even though it's damp but not dirty. That helped briefly, a few weeks ago.

Thanks @Former-Member I haven't had Jelly cat outside at all yet, but I maybe need to try that soon.

My psychologist is aware of my increased dissociation & heightened anxiety (& agitation) - that's been going on for many weeks now.

However I don't seem able to get her to understand the severity of it (recently), & that fact that it's virtually "blanking my mind out" (rendering me largely non-functional).

Deep breathing is one of the few strategies that I have, which is very hard to practice whilst out.

Sorry, I'm off back to work (Disabilities) now. Will write more soon.

Adge

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Hi @Adge

I'm really pleased you like my new pic

I have been having trouble with my old cat since I went away recently - she had a feline-melt-down as soon as I came in the front door and she did not mess inside but her piercing meows were funny compared to the paper tearing and demanding indoor/outdoor behaviour, scratching furniture and jumping on me in the middle of the night

Yes - I am sure she is trying to get your attention - but that is very trying

Mine settled with a bit of excessive cuddling at night-time when she started to look at me as if - "What's wrong you teenager/human/woman/slave? But yes - that extra attention helped

But she has not turned back into Ms Snuggly yet - but that will not stop me from going away again

Dec