APPROACHING SURE?

[Appleblossom]

Thanks @Owlunar I needed your post. Nice to know you are there. 

Moss Roses @Faith-and-Hopebeautiful colours.

[Owlunar]

Thanks @Appleblossom

Feedback is good to hear - I might wander too far into an area that is too sensitive

But then - too far for whom? We are all different and this is a good thing

Dec

[Former-Member]

Hey @Appleblossom
Just dropping in. I'm really pleased to read that you have three choirs in place. That should help.
I'm finding the whole gratitude thing interesting but I know I have things to be grateful for too but can't keep that as a reason to keep going just as an acceptance that there are good things in my life too.
I hope your boy is going well and that you are too. Would love to hear from you. I'm having trouble keeping up here lately. Last week was one of the hardest in my life but this week has seen more good moments than lots of the past ones as I started tafe and was totally engaged in it and out of my head.
Sending hugs 💜🤗

[Former-Member]

Distraction from our thoughts is a good way to lift us @Former-Member I think I need this at the moment - may just venture out and clean the whole house 🏡

How are you today @Appleblossom? How is your son? Have you many plans this weekend? 🤗

[Former-Member]

Hiya @Appleblossom just checking in again. Are things ok with you? 💜🤗

[Former-Member]

Hi @Appleblossom, I relate to / like what you said: My personality is actually fairly optimistic rather than depressive, more a rose coloured glasses type .. to a point of folly .. I can be optimistic and people pick up all my pain from body language .. and I send a mixed message ... not really a grass is greener on the other side type .. either. I accept my diagnosis of MAJOR DEPRESSIVE DISORDER with a hefty grain of salt.

Also likef what you said: "Had an audition last night .. so now have official acceptance in 3 good non church choirs .. where I know familiar faces .. cos there is lots of crossover in the choir world ... and is good for my musical ego .. and gives me a vigorous outlet"

WOW! how brave you are mixing like this and doing something, singing, which I know is from deep within. Clearly this is your 'gift' (god given talent). It took me years to realise my musical gift (piano, guitar, vocal, flute...) was not given to me just to bless everyone else but for m very own spiritual growth & expression as well - my gift. And I know the Lord delights in us using them in celebration and joy. Smiling upon us as we do our own children's growing & expression & confidence in something.

For me singing still oft makes me cry but every now & then when I walk past one, I might stop for a minute and play my favourite song.
- 'Sky Boat Song' on the flute or recorder (my girl liked me playing this - i think she still hears me and smiles)
- "FurElise' or Moonlight Senata on the piano or 'The River Is Wide" on piano
- Guitar - classical style picking tunes. I use to strum chords a lot & sing folk but lost the song for now. Have composed a handful of songs.

Oh listen to me bragging lol nice to have someone who likely knows what I'm talking about for a change

I had opera training too years back - have a big strong voice and carry harmonies well, really miss that.

At KYB CWCI SAFARI last Tuesday, there was a guest C&W Gospel Singer and the speaker even sang a most beautiful song she had written. Oh my heart longs to be in the frequent company of like minded musical believers and pick up my song and dance again one day. Pray for this with me would you plz @Apple, before its all too far gone. Its encouraging to see some good artists still going strong well into their 60s, there still may be hope. Gosh I wish I could sing without crying. Even typing this brings tears, what seems lost.

Played a song on mums piano for my little 3yo niece while in Sydney, recently. Apparently she had never seen anyone play before. We did 'twinkle twinkle little star' and other nurser rhymes (by ear for me using chords - a bit tricky) but the best thing was getting my mum to play for her granddaughter. Mum could never learn to play music but plays a few songs by ear. Here shes 82, sick with terminal cancer & MI but actually let me coax her into playing and she enjoyed doing so. Little 3yo sat there big eyed, jatropped jaw as nan belted out a rough version of Frerzaka (?spelling). Was good.

Gosh, got me talkin lol, hope you don't mind me sharing so much xox

[Appleblossom]

Love you sharing so much @Former-Member  All of it .. specially about your mum and littlie ..

how do you know if you are bragging or just talking about the stuff .. that you do .. fear of bragging goes deep in Aussie kulcha.. I grew up in housing commission flats .. believe me I know .. or am I putting myself down .. or being inappropriate if I mention MI or where I lived .. 

Aussie cultural cringe does need to take a back seat sometimes .. and let us get on with good decent productive stuff. Yes I know all the pieces .. and you were doing the best thing to bring the unused instrument alive for a little girl .. and bringing out that part of your mum.

I have been praying that you find a way to bring music back into your life.  

Yes I had tears happen ..music ... stirs memories and feelings .. deeper ones and hidden ones .. in front of church a few times .. tears would not stop ... even if I breathed deeper or squeezed them shut...I had to stop .. there were only 2 of us singing .. it was not appropriate ..  my friend from then still visits .. she is very old and very dear.

later I joined the city choir .. and thought I wouldnt put a spanner in the works if I was triggered .. cos it was 30-35 voice choir. It was good fit for a while and I learned a lot of choral repertoire.

There is a sense where music is often interpersonal ..its bigger than just about us .. the performer ..  if we sing in the bush .. the animals hear it .. but mostly its people who hear it... and mostly it brings joy.

I dont know if singing is my talent . .. didnt do it much as a kid .. you probably have a bigger voice than me .. my mother said I had a small voice and often boomed over me .. lots of sopranos about when I was younger... I was the quiet piano player or organist .. that would go all throaty and almost stutter when it was my turn to speak.

my voice has gotten bigger in last 7 years cos it is the muscle that has been exercised .. cos .. I had vocalises and pieces from accompanying others .. and started singing at home .. and that was consoling too ... then cos I had to get out of house and get social .. and it was the most secure way to do it .. that was affordable.

I posted on @Zoethread ..

My weekend has been busy .. I read Calpurnia at a Shakespeare workshop ..

went to a Celtic performance .. of "Celtic Woman: Fair & Furious"

and a sitzprobe with orchestra .. where a heavy metal singer turned opera star .. stuck his fingers in his ears cos the orchestra was too loud .. lol ...it has been a good weekend for me.

My son missed 2 events .. the Shakespeare workshop and his opera rehearsal .. a different one but same time .. was on skye with his father .. and in bed .. doesnt feel good to see him like that ..

 I saw 3 of his friends at the sitzprobe .. but I have found I have to keep taking my steps .. and he will take a lot of good steps too .. and I try not to get effected when he misses stuff, cos his journey is not the same as mine.

@OwlunarI also have put off thinking about dumb church stuff til after big gig.  Enjoy the good times .. and today and tomorrow .. have great pieces .. a bit of Wagner, Verdi, Sondheim & Star Wars,

Time to think about dumb church stuff later.  But today a lovely girl sat next to me on train .. was reading intelligent book about christianity and belief .. and she invited me to her church which is in same city block as my old one .. ahhh .. the lord works in mysterious ways .. 

Thanks @Former-Member I love you popping by.  it makes me feel that you are at least up to being social, and I still need company, though I spent a bit of time in crowded rooms.

 The weekend was fast & fabulous.  I seem to need the energy ... but i gi ve it too .. I was bubbling away .. not as gorgeous as the young ones .. going for older lady restraint .. but still punching out a few high notes and having a little wriggle when the beat was too good.

[Former-Member]

wtg @Appleblossom, glad you've had a good weekend. Thanks for your replying kindly, appreciate you xox

[Owlunar]

Hi @Appleblossom and @Former-Member

It's great to hear someone talking about their talent - their gifts - whatever they are

We should not be ashamed of them nor keep them hidden - they are from God and should not be relinquished

Two things - little girls are told they are made of all things nice - sugar and spice etc - ah ha - wrong!!

We are human and not necesarily made of all things nice but all things good - surely - nice has such a strange etimological history - it's is still a very squirly word

Girls are taught not to show off - boys almost have to - but as girls we were supposed to not stand out - and I was like my father and did - and I was told I was wrong - but I still skite - I am a good writer - I can played the piano and spent the weekend figuring out the chords and counterpoint for Time after Time. Sounds good - why should I not "blow my own trumpet" for playing the piano

And - and and and - the their is the Aussie kulteral kringe - what are Australians so afraid of? We do have our own versions of The yarts. Can we not express it. Oh dear dear dear - we are different - we are a massively culturally diverse country - we need to love our differences

But first turn off the "mother DVD" in our head and be ourselves. Both of you are fantastic people and gifted and being thus have lost yourselves and are not finding yourselves and this is wonderful

I can sing - I often sing - I get caught singing when people happen to come to my door

Don't bury your talents - anyone - we do not need public acclaim to have them - just enjoy them for ourselves and if the public finds it's way to our door and comments - rejoice

I'm an oustanding orgininal writer

Dec

[Owlunar]

Hi @Former-Member

I'm sorry about the tough week - yes - back and TAFE and it makes sense to me - both "in and out of your head" - been there myself at the beginning of each new year - and how many there have been in my life?

You say you find you have trouble accepting that there are good things in your life - oddly - yes - I understand that - I found from early childhood there were things I hated - from cauliflour to my name - and I could not just not like them - I had to develop the energy to "hate" them

At the same time there were a lot of good things - but it was hard to see past what I had to hate to express myself - and it must have been hard for my mother to have me come home from school and scream at her for putting a brown frieze around my bedroom walls without my permission [screech]

But then Gran would coax me to the piano telling me I would be grateful later and I so am - but one of the good things was Gran - and she was there so much of the time - not everyone has such a priviledge

I think I get it Teej -you need to move some of the stuff you don't like out of the way in your head - just acknowledge you "hate" it if you have to - and then you can appreciate the things you do like

Strange -  I had no idea I would unearth this idea today - I have so many things to do - and here I am - inventing new ideas

I know your life was okay before you had a traumatic event in your life about 5 - 6 years ago - who knows what triggered that off - but as girls we are taught to be nice little well-behaved children while the bolys can play up and get away with whatever - so it's harder for women - and we all have talent buried somewhere

Sorry if I have blasted your morning - but I seem to be in a fast track atm - maybe the day will get hot and I will slow down

Dec