Sometimes I just want to stay at home

[MDT]

The last few months I have noticed that the world we live in is even more crazy than I had perhaps anticipated. 

I see it on the news (which I have basically been avoiding for some time now). I see it at work (a toxic environment and lots of cliques and attitudes).

I was speaking to some people here last night ( @oceangirl  ) about imagined scenarios or stories of other people that have nothing to do with me and how i feel anxious or empathetic.  

The past few months I have been envisaging situations in the future where I don't go out except for work (Which at the moment I do not like). I am trying to keep a social life going but it is hard when I feel so out of sorts with where I am at in life at the present moment. I am big believer in quality over quantity when it comes to friends. But I find that is even hard to keep up. I got rid of all dating apps except one which I occassionally look at. I am hoping to maybe ditch it soon too. 3 weeks ago i deleted all of them, but i was working in a new area and thought i would see what it is like there. But same story I guess. I am going well with online uni but i just wish it was in person - it'd be cool to meet with people and speak to them and study together. Oh well. I guess I have to make do with what I have now. 

The world is really crazy and lots of people are high on sugar, drugs, dehydrated, not in shape mentally or physically, addicted to entertainment, stimulants of all sorts or drugs... I have no idea where I fall in all of this. 

I have really begun to feel for the people who are left out. I feel like I can relate to these types of people the most. 

I have work again tomorrow (eww) in a place i have been to before (phew) with a few new faces (phew) but it's still the same job (eww). 

I dunno what I am trying to achieve with this post - maybe just a rant and to get things off my chest with other people who may be able to relate to this experience. 

[Owlunar]

Hi @MDT 

Life isn't easy in the C21st - on-line university and dating apps and over-stimulated boring work-mates - it certainly ain't easy being green Kermit

Aw - look who I found

You can't blend in if you were meant to stand out

You are a sight better than your workmates Hamza - a lot better - they way you describe them - hm yes - they seem to be what we used to call posers - would be if they could be people - pretending to be interesting and to you - obviously not. 

I wouldn't worry about on-line dating either - but then - I recently said to my daughter that I didn't go to night-school to find a husband but I did - and she laughed and said that is not something anyone would usually say - it's true though - eew

It's not terrible being alone either - I have been for over 30 years now and it's okay - I get along with my present company - having been unhappy with my original family and it was a sad marriage so better to be alone than have unsuitable companions

But then - how do you know if you don't go out and look - I do hear you. I don't think we need to change to suit the present company either 

There are decent people about but not where you work obviously - and as for on-line dates - it sounds pretty desperate to me

 I think you are interesting - your writing gives me an insight into your life - you don't fit in easily but please - be yourself - it is not a good idea to try and be someone else

Sending best thoughts

Dec

[MDT]

@Owlunar

Music to my ears my friend. Thank you for it 🙂

Yeah. I think I am in good place generally. Couple of things in the horizon.

One day at a time hey my friend

[oceangirl]

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@MDT wrote:

The last few months I have noticed that the world we live in is even more crazy than I had perhaps anticipated. 

I see it on the news (which I have basically been avoiding for some time now). I see it at work (a toxic environment and lots of cliques and attitudes).

I was speaking to some people here last night ( @oceangirl  ) about imagined scenarios or stories of other people that have nothing to do with me and how i feel anxious or empathetic.  

The past few months I have been envisaging situations in the future where I don't go out except for work (Which at the moment I do not like). I am trying to keep a social life going but it is hard when I feel so out of sorts with where I am at in life at the present moment. I am big believer in quality over quantity when it comes to friends. But I find that is even hard to keep up. I got rid of all dating apps except one which I occassionally look at. I am hoping to maybe ditch it soon too. 3 weeks ago i deleted all of them, but i was working in a new area and thought i would see what it is like there. But same story I guess. I am going well with online uni but i just wish it was in person - it'd be cool to meet with people and speak to them and study together. Oh well. I guess I have to make do with what I have now. 

The world is really crazy and lots of people are high on sugar, drugs, dehydrated, not in shape mentally or physically, addicted to entertainment, stimulants of all sorts or drugs... I have no idea where I fall in all of this. 

I have really begun to feel for the people who are left out. I feel like I can relate to these types of people the most. 

I have work again tomorrow (eww) in a place i have been to before (phew) with a few new faces (phew) but it's still the same job (eww). 

I dunno what I am trying to achieve with this post - maybe just a rant and to get things off my chest with other people who may be able to relate to this experience. 

---

@MDT 

I hear you.Btw thank you for the support and chat last night. It seems you're doing quite a bit of reflection and where you want to be in life. And some of your thoughts/feelings are because maybe you are fearful of what the future holds. I for one, I get anxious when I think too far ahead and especially when I have a lot going on. when I am overwhelmed I look inwards and when I am feeling better I am able to look outside myself more. Its important to take good care of yourself and especially your mental health and brain. Keep active and good nutrition. Because life is defiantely not a sprint and you need to pace yourself. Do what is right for you and stay true to yourself.

[MDT]

Well said @oceangirl
My friend thanks for your support too