Saving Lives. Crisis Support. Suicide Prevention.
22-05-2017 04:45 PM
22-05-2017 04:45 PM
22-05-2017 05:53 PM
22-05-2017 05:53 PM
22-05-2017 06:59 PM
22-05-2017 06:59 PM
23-05-2017 11:32 AM
23-05-2017 11:32 AM
Hi @outlander @Former-Member @Former-Member @utopia @Faith-and-Hope @Owlunar @NikNik @Zoe7
I am sorry I couldn't respond to anyone's posts last night. I was not in a good talking mood. All i wanted to do was cry myself to sleep.
I did manage to email @NikNik and we worked together on some strategies to cope.
This morning I was angry because I had no meds to take as the webster pack was empty and I hadn't noticed this mornig. so i called up the hopsital and as they were holding all my meds (thinking i was going back in this week) to say i was coming to pick them up. then they tell me that they have no idea as to when i will be able to go back in. so i got angry and said well forget it because i am on annual leave thhis week and am going bnsck to work next wednesday. i cannot afford to have more time off as all i got paid the last fortnight was $37 as i have no annual leave or sick leave left.
i then panicked and theought graet now what do i do, i have no hospityal adminssion i have no psych appt; i have nothing. so i got hubby to drive me down to the hospittal to pick up meds; then drive me to my psych to organise something ie. an appt. i spoke to the receptionist told her my drama and she said take a seat and he may see you now. but that wasn't the case, he said i cann come in tomorrowq to see him. so i have an appt tomorrow afternoon.
i am still angry with the hosptial, i do know there is a waiting list; but i can't stop and change meds and have more time off work wityh no pay. i don't know what else to do.
i know my health comes first.
i ended up going to see my GP this mornig at 8.30am as i had terrible stomach pains. he reassured me quite a few times that i was okay and tht i would be okay. he made another appt for 2 weeks time and said he will see how i am in 2 weeks time. he says i am on strong medication and it is that which is causing my stomach pains. but i am positive that i can feel a lump (which i think is a hernia) - well that's what (Dr google said ;when i looked it up!!!)
i am trying to pack more today, hubby is outside. all the kids are at work today which is good. too m,any people around annoy me.
i have a blue blanket to sew for my friends baby so i may even sew that today.
oh i have some exciting news, but you'll all have to go across to the baby news on the other thread.
Love BB xxx
23-05-2017 12:02 PM - edited 23-05-2017 12:06 PM
23-05-2017 12:02 PM - edited 23-05-2017 12:06 PM
Hi @BlueBay
This sounds like an almighty muddle but please settle down and think for a bit
Your health does come first - so press on that re-admission - and forget about work right now - you went away expecting to be re-admitted to hospital and you need that - to get those strong medications sorted before you do anything else
You can take the time off work - you need to take the time off work - I can't imagine working myself under so much stress - and that is your first item -
Right - we have all packed up and moved and personally I hate it - I have lost count of how often I have moved - and once I was too ill to do the packing myself and had it done professionally - and yes - this costs money but think of your health first -
I just want you to stop going around in circles - sure you have a lot of stress - but fretting doesn't help - in fact you are able to do a lot more than I could through the bad parts of my life when I used to burn out - I was totally useless then - even cleaning the house or shopping or working or whatever was too much - I know how it feels -
And you are moving out of your parents' old house and have you destroyed your mother's old stuff yet? I wonder about that -
Take a deep breath - and another deep breath - and then keep on keeping on about getting back into hospital to get your medication sorted
Your holiday was less than a pleasant time - I am so sorry about that - and it has all blown around and scattered - you had high hopes - perhaps a few days away on your own would be better - you seem to want to do that and I really understand that - I have travelled alone for years and years - it can be done - and I find being alone in a small city or country resort the best - the peace and quiet and just being alone and pleasing myself is great - I think you need that kind of holiday
Lots of hugs BB - and settle down and get yourself back into hospital - you went away on a week's leave - your bed should have been waiting for you
I am thinking of you - like - what a mess
Dec
23-05-2017 12:03 PM
23-05-2017 12:03 PM
23-05-2017 12:04 PM
23-05-2017 12:04 PM
23-05-2017 12:27 PM
23-05-2017 12:27 PM
Hi @Owlunar
You're right, i always feel a sense of relief when I read your reply. Like you understand me. Just like a mother.
I know my head rushes into so many things and I need to STOP. When I stop and read your reply I thought 'you're right I do need to think about my health and if it means hospital admission next week well so be it" hubby will have to deal with it.
You know, he is drivcing me crazy today being home on annual leave. he has another two weeks at home. OMG.
I am going to get my hair cut and coloured this afternoon, at least I will be out of the hosue for a while.
No @Owlunar I have got rid of my mum's stuff yet. Although we are having a garage sale this Saturday and I have put all her old cups and saucers and odds and pieces of plates in a box for the sale. I don't want them so they're going.
This afternoon a removalist guy is coming to give us a quote to move our furniture. Hopefully it won't be too expensive.
Yes i am angry at the hospital because a bed should have been ready for me yesterday to go straight into. they knew from the day i was discharged, it's not as if they didn't know. i bet they (the hospital) have put me back on the bottom of the list. well i will tell my psych tomorrow when i see him.
Dec when i go a bit crazy and out of control, thanks for bringing me back into reality check.
BB xx
by the way - how are yoiu?
23-05-2017 12:32 PM
23-05-2017 12:32 PM
Hey @Faith-and-Hope
It's hard being angry because I want to lash out. I need to vent. Maybe i better go and vac the carpet i can take it out on the carpet. LOL
Thanks for your hugs, always greatly accepted.
I hope you are well, I alwasy seem to forget to ask you how you are?
BB xxxooo
23-05-2017 12:47 PM
23-05-2017 12:47 PM
Hi @BlueBay
I think I have a lot of the same mother-stuff in my past and thinking about moving away from her and her house and her clutter and her sneaking, snatching fingers must be like those jelly fish with the long tentrils sticking onto your skin and stinging like the blazes and you want to pick this off and it is practically impossible - eek - I get it
Huffnpuff has two more weeks off work - let HIM do the packing - after all - he is the only person who can do it properly
And when you see your psyche tomorrow tell him exactly how you feel about everything - esp about not being able to get back into hospital - you went away and returned expecting to get back in - that does not sound good and I am so sorry about that
I am glad I can ground you - I don't actually try - I just say what comes into my head because I have been in the rotten-mother stuff - you are not alone with that
I am okay today - yesterday went sour with one phone call that my pain specialist can't see me this week (she is going to be in a meeting - I wonder a lot about people having meetings - it's like a form of shelter to protect people from their public)
That's the second appointment I have had cancelled at the last minute - she has been ill - which I understand - but I saw my GP - I was worried about my permit for my medication - but I only have to see her once a year and I have a few months left yet
The first thing you have to do is get back into hospital - so press for that - you need it
Dec
But that was not good - still - one thing at a time
Dec
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