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[Owlunar]

That's a hard one @utopia and @eudemonism

I have no experience with drinking but I did quit smoking and I was a social smoker so some of my frlendships depended on smoking and I had to stop seeing my friends because of the tension - and it was not that I asked them to not smoke in my presence - they resented me not smoking and this hurt a lot but these people are long gone now 

I did keep in touch with one friend on Facebook though - she had moved to another city

My daughter was respectful and has not smoked in my presence for years and she is the important person in my life - and I am starting to think she has actuallty quit herself though she hasn't said anything and one of her step-children has quit too

So my point is that with drinking some people will not be supportive and it will just be too hard - and other people might take your example and you can only be clear about the truth - that you are stopping - and it's not easy and you need support and not criticism from your friends

Oh dear - it is hard to charge habits where friends are concerned

I wish both of you the best - I really do

Dec

[utopia]

Good news. The NBN technician installed everything for me today and turned on the NBN so I don't have to wait til next Thursday for the Telstra man to do it.

So back up on the Internet without gigabyte restrictions. 

Only problem - I can't get my computer to turn on. Lol. And my son - teenage tech head - is staying at his girlfriends tonight. So I'll have to wait til tomorrow.  But I can use the Internet on my phone for tonight. 

[Zoe7]

That is great about the NBN @utopia - call that a big win 

Hopefully your son will get your computer sorted when he is home tomorrow and then you will be unstoppable lol

[utopia]

Unstoppable.  I like that plan @Zoe7.

[utopia]

So tomorrow I'm going back to the private psych hospital.  I had a failed suicide attempt and ended up in the ED. They let me out of hospital only if I went to stay with my mum of bf. So I'm at my best friends. 

Mum and bf don't want me to go to hospital - as so far they have never got me better! Mt bf thinks I should stay at her house til I feel better. But even though she has my car keys - I can still make my way to where I want to die. 

They just don't get it. This is not a single episode of sadness or depression like they have had.

This has been 4 years of torture.  Almost daily suicidal thoughts. Fauling as a mum. Failing cleaning and maintaining a house. Failure to look after garden.  Failure to love my dogs or gst any joy from them.  Failure to be able to work. Owe thousands of dollars in unpaid bills. Nothing I do is right.

So, one last time in hospital.  If it doesn't work.  Then I choose to die. This is not living.  This is not a life.

[Snowie]

@utopiathat like is hearing you.

I hope the hospital visit helps but I can understand how hard it is for you at the moment. Sometimes our closest family/friends cannot understand the struggles we go though daily with our big feelings of failing and intense thoughts.

Will be thinking of you  

[BlueBay]

Oh @utopia I’m so sorry you are so low snd going back to hospital. I feel for you so mych. I’m so sad to hear this. 

I hope the hospital stay will help you. 

I’m hear for you 

sending you a big hug ❤️❤️

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hearing you and thinking of you too @utopia ....

💜💜💜

[Jupiter]

So sorry to hear how bad things have been for you this week @utopia. It's good to hear you are going to give hospital another try. Every stay can be different and I hope this one will provide you with the support you need to get back on your feet again. Sounds like you have been extremely persistent in challenging your mental health over the years. Keep fighting!

[outlander]

@utopia ❣❣❣❣