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Zoe7
Community Guide

Re: HOME

I will be thinking of you my beautiful cocky friend - look after yourself @utopia - will miss you Hon Heart

Re: HOME

Hugs @utopia ❤️

NatalieS
Senior Contributor

Re: HOME

@utopiaOne cr..py thing after another for you, utopia, but you are resilient and keep putting one foot in front of the other, despite being so overwhelmed...when you're struggling with mental illness, you don't need all this other stuff happening...no, this is not small stuff, it is HUGE...you are amazing to keep doing what you're doing....hope things return to some sort of even keel for you soon.  Wish there was something I could do to ease the hurt. Heart Heart

BlueBay
Senior Contributor

Re: HOME

Hi @utopia

I was thinking of you this morning. How have you been? I haven’t spoken to you for a while. How is your mum and son?

❤️❤️

utopia
Senior Contributor

Re: HOME

So I now have a small ?? Something bite of data on my mobile.  As of 1 hr ago. Internet won't be on where I can use it on my laptop and have enough giga bites ??

Had good news today. And some shitty big news - but I'm ignoring that one for tonight. 

So had appointment with CentreLink. My child turned 16 & they wanted to ask if he was still at school so I could get family tax B. Thank god my support worker was with me.

Anyway, something was wrong on my notes in their system, so staff member and my worker off talking to another staff for 15 minutes. Then he comes over and asks if he could interview me to determine if I'm capable or incapable of working.  As even though they have all the medical certificates - their computer shows I'm capable of looking for work.

I answer his questions.  Then he says, you're in no fit state to be looking for work. I'm putting an 8 month exemption on your file. So no more appointments with CentreLink or job networks. They will review it on the 30/4/2019.

That's a big weight off my shoulders. 

So now I just need my psychiatrist to determine my 'stable' status for WorkCover & my lawyers can get the ball rolling.  

My ex manager has her court hearing on Monday.  And yet I've been on WC for years longer.

I see my psychiatrist this Thursday.  To determine if my meds are working - as it was too hard for him to decide with all the stress I was under.  Lol. Wait til I tell him about the hours spent on the phone to Telstra in the Philippines.  Or the warrant that I found out about today - for old failure to register the car. Lol. I keep telling people my brain isn't working - think I've lost most of my brain cells.

So I have limited usage from my mobile - so I'll only check in occasionally and be back on board - fingers crossed by Thursday 8th August in the arvo.

Hope you are all staying safe and trying to get through these winter days.

Hugs to you all.

Zoe7
Community Guide

Re: HOME

What a win at Centrelink @utopia - such a relief for you Smiley Happy

Sending you love and hugs my beautiful cocky - can't wait until you have internet properly again and then we can chat more Heart

Re: HOME

Hi @utopia could you give me some advice regarding the risks of being associated with other drinkers when I'm trying to be sober? And consider that I'm a little stuck for social options, have history with these people, and am finding it hard to break free from that web of alcoholism and the individuals involved... I don't go out looking for a drink or to buy it, but when I'm visiting people, it's in front of me, and I've got a seemingly friendly face offering, and I'm a little out of balance on the day, and I simply reached out for support. Sometimes it don't work out in my favor... I've been and am going to meetings... I have the book to read and support...

Re: HOME

Wow @utopia .....doing cartwheels for you .... 🎉

I wonder whether that sort of assessment is based on the attitude of the C’link employee who interviews you on the day, and you got a sh*tty one last time who threw a perpetuating spinner into you ur works ..... that this angel guy just removed .... ?!

Woo-hoo ..... soooo pleased for you ❣️

utopia
Senior Contributor

Re: HOME

@Faith-and-Hope - got a great lady who could see a problem/fault on the computer and decided to fix it. Between her and my support worker - they got the appropriate staff member to see me then and there to fix it straight away. And I had a letter from my psychiatrist with me (for another issue) that clearly states I have extreme MDD & shows signs of PTSD. It explains my memory cognitive disfunction,  inability to handle stress or deal with life situations.  So that all helped.

Got lucky with my support worker. 

utopia
Senior Contributor

Re: HOME

@eudemonism. It is tricky some times isn't it.

I don't have many friends I see - mainly just my best friend. And she is a huge drinker. An alcoholic in a bad way. I told her I had to stop drinking.  So I told her not to visit or call me if she's been drinking (she's rarely aware that she is drunk).

The first month I didn't see her. Just talked on the ph, normally in the mornings. Now I visit her, but again normally in the morning.  If I go around and she's drinking - she puts her drink in the fridge until I leave (so long as I don't stay too long). So yeah. It is hard. But I normally drank on my own at home. Rarely went to a pub.

So, maybe you find you normally socialised in the evenings with friends and a drink. So it's about finding a different activity to do those nights. Bingo. Art or music classes. Book club. Sports - training and game days. Maybe a friend or two will join you in this. But if they want to drink beforehand or encourage you to drink after going out - then don't include them in your new activities. 

Did your friends ever not drink when you get together?  Or are they everyday drinkers like me? Because if they help support you to stop drinking - you have a much bigger chance of success.  If they want you to drink with them - even though you've told them you are atopping - then there's a reason they do this. It makes them feel better. They don't want someone in their group who doesn't drink - coz they might not want to look at their own drinking habits.

I've had 2 slip ups in the past 5 or 6 weeks. But that's ok, because I'm still quitting.  So don't be hard on yourself if you do slip.

If you asked your friends to have 2 alcohol free fun nights a week - so that you can enjoy their company - would they do it? Willingly?  If not, then I think you need to stay away from them for a while. 

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