Rang dad, he's fine, Bro4 hadn't visited today (unusual). Dad keeps asking when Im gonna visit. Never asks to go home.
One respite trip has changed everything because the Tribunal wouldn't reschedule & my ugly blood lied about me and zeroed in on my past MH - not recovery and all the good I've done. (What's the point in 'getting better' I wonder, all that hard work for nothing).
As for here, well, ppl who don't usually interact then only show up to dob and hit me on the head, well yes, that hurts.
My phone is the only way to get help. But since my anger attracts bullying, i Might rip the sim out of my phone so I don't do any more damage tonight (but place myself more at risk) ppl run & hide and support each other in shutting me out anyway (hurtring me more anyw). Don't know why I lash out, sucks being mixed up - having to have my 'hot choc' alone & my call for help irrelevant, if you knew what's really going through my head.
S T I L L. M Y. S O U L !
