Topic Tuesday // Talking to your parents about your mental health // Tues. 5 June 7pm AEST

[Teej]

Ditto @Snowie. The forum is probably my biggest support. Like you I’ve pushed everyone away 😢

[Snowie]

@TeejI guess I didn't wait to see if anyone understood. I pushed them away before they had the chance. Looking back I guess I jumped to conclusions. Even now if people ask I just put my fake smile on my face and say I'm ok thanks. 

[mindboggle18]

@Snowie, im with you about that fake smile/mask. Sometimes we're so good at it that people forget we need help

[JessieB]

@mindboggle18 I have an aunty who is also a Doctor. I found it useful using her to explain to my parents the clinical sides of things in my early days of disgnosis. 

I think her reaction to it all and her being able to advise my parents that having a mental illnes is very common and not a life sentence really helped my parents stay focused.
I am lucky that my aunty is very close with my family and non judgemental.

[Former-Member]

I understand you there @Snowie, I too have my mask that hides my true emotions it becomes easier to wear it then to show what I really feel

[Teej]

There is always time @Snowie. I think there will be some who do try to understand when you are ready. Don’t give up or think it’s gone. My situation was a little different. One day though I hope to be in a headspace to reconnect, not as someone who has recovered but as someone who is more in control of herself. For me personally I want to feel more able to deal with those relationships. 

[Gina-Bell]

@Snowie @Teej

I hear you - it can be so difficult to open up to people, and to be honest about what's going on for you. It feels risky, and can take up your emotional energy too. 

Its great to hear the forum is helpful for you in that way. 

I think sometimes you might be surprised by the responses you get- in a good way - when you tell someone your'e not doing too well. Most people have some form of mental health concern in their lifetime.. perhaps you'll find connection and understanding somewhere too. 

 Has anyone had that experience? 

[JessieB]

Here is a practical strategy to help start the conversation with your parent's

Writing down your reasons / what you want to say

(The reason you want to speak to them)

I had been struggling with my mental health for a very long time. It wasn’t until I left school, and moved away from home that it started to deteriorate.

I had booked myself in to see a doctor and a psychologist. They gave me some tools in order to deal with what was happening in my head, and also advised that having family support would help improve my condition.

Speaking to your parents about your mental issues can be somewhat intimidating and anxiety enhancing. I found it best to write down everything that I want to say. Writing down every point I wanted to get across reduced my anxiety, but also kept a clear the points I wanted to express during the conversation.

In my own personal journey, I was fortunate enough to have really understanding parents who have both had experience with mental health, either personally or was there for someone who was struggling with it. I think writing down everything that was going on helped me articulate to my parents exactly how I was feeling as well as keeping focus on the main things that I wanted to get off my chest.

Q: What are some strategies that you have used to help?

[mindboggle18]

@JessieB

So have you used your aunty as kinda the in between person? Has that worked? I guess I'm afraid of asking too much. I feel like I'm a failure then because I can't even talk to my parents and have to go through someone else because I'm too much of a scaredy cat to confront them and actually talk to them. 

[Former-Member]

@JessieB,

I let my mum live in her delusional world because it easier then the drama she causes when someone tells her she was anything but a good mother and my step father lives so far away that I hardly talk to him.

I want to tell my mum and have her understand but how would I start it when all my issues lead back to her being neglectful