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Memories of things I wished I I could forget
memories that are still unlocking
Seeing my past through different eyes now which has left me questioning my entire life and has turned what I had thought of my life on its head
mind and subconcious trying to process things when in bed.
Am running on nervous energy again, some nights getting only few hours sleep or sleeping entire day
im starting to understand Schemas and how they are linked to me being triggered or even feeling out of comfort zone
It’s knowing all the things I grew up with that are not ‘normal’, ‘bad habits’ I have and trying to break them …. housework in childhood home only got done when people coming to visit which wasn’t often (as one thing).
local gp won’t refer to Telehealth only as feels doesn’t allow for working connection to be formed. I don’t like Telehealth as medical professional isn’t able to see reaction to things. Face to face or appointments via zoom, or similar, for me work best. To have any possibility of seeing psych is either the horrible one I saw last year or travel up to 2 hours one way
With mix of physical health issues, MH issues, issues where I live plus, currently, lawyers ….. I don’t know anymore. I’m loosing the interest in doing anything. My social anxiety is still running wild and my social isolation schema having a party at my expense
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