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  • Author : BlueBay
  • Support : 1
  • Topic : Something’s not right
06 Apr 2017 07:56 AM
Senior Contributor

Hi @Former-Member nice to see yoiu on here 🙂

how are you?

I do struggle a whole lot more when I am home alone.  Although i love being alone and the quietness it brings with no tv, radio or anything on.  Just being still.  But then all of a sudden my inner voice starts, my thoughts start and then my behaviour begins. 

I still struggle when is the time to call for help.  Most times when i have called lifeline or chatted online if it is really bad they have called an ambulance, only happened once and i was home alone. i won't go into it for triggering purposes.

It is a huge responsibility putting down someone's name on a safety plan.  I haven't put any friends down. only put my professional support team.  i wouldn't put that pressure or responsibility on someone else.

that's why i struggle so much because i hide a lot of my struggles, my thoughts and behaviours.  no one knows, well you guys do but no one else.  Not even my sister or close friends know.

I understand your concern why you are not sure if you are up to being a contact on the safety plan.

I feel so tired at the moment, my back is sore.  I still feel destructive and my thoughts are a bit out of control.  

how do i know what to do.  so i have this safety plan - i don't know i am so confused at the moment.  my thoughts are racing, my mind is so negative.  maybe if i did sh i would feel okay. no that is bad, i can't do that. i need to get off, my mind is thoughts that are triggering me right now.

Sorry @Former-Member xxx

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