@Zoe7
The more I think about it I know that we need to put ourselves first every time
When I am in a plane they go through the same routine and in business class I have even had my private run-through - and they ask if I have any questions - great that - and of course we have to fix our own oxygen mask before we help anyone else
It comes done to simple acts - like eating properly and getting as much sleep as possible - and taking breaks whatever we do - and pleasing ourselves at times - cause there are times when that will mean one person at least is happy
And it is hard to maintain this and I have had decades of it - with a child with MI that can be really hard.
I remember when the women's movement was really active and I did a lot of reading - I told my mother I was emancipated - she laughed at me - I had two kids after all and I was married. But I privately maintained the truth to me that emancipation is a matter of the mind - freedom that comes from within - and this is the difference - in spite of whatever else we do -
Personally I found a way to get through the chaos to a place like today - I am alone sure but I like it better and better - after all - who cares - my other uncle is reclusive and sometimes I think we are alike - which is fine with me - we talk now and again - and I know going to university part-time for so long led me to being single-minded and perhaps selfish but I think my kids were better off with my independent thought and I am glad I took this path
So - after all that philosophy you are right - you need to cut off from too many contacts to keeping your comments more content-full - if that make sense - and you are battling with your own stuff so there are days I think you will keep to yourself and this is important - I do this when I feel the need to close down - and whatever happens when I am not here - it's okay because I am right back into it when I get passed whatever was bothering me - and physical pain is one thing - I sometimes sit in my chair - heating up the wheat pack - most of the day - and emotional pain - different - but yes - there are days when I can't say anything useful and it passes if I let it -
I didn't need to say all that but I have so let's leave it there
I was outside so yes - I saw more clearly because I was not invested in anyway - but I was in caring mode and there were days when I was like "omg someone answer"- I am glad to let you know that because yes - I was there and it was hard not saying anything but my answer to myself was I could not and this was the better place in the long run. Who knows the future though
Dec
