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I've been feeling it come and go like this in this way for a few days now. Intense and then it passes and it is ok and things are normal again. But right now I am feeling it intensely and right now this seems like a good place to say that.

I've lost track of time tonight and I don't know where I was or what I was doing back then because I suddenly realised that I don't actually have a Friday. Friday has completely disappeared. I don't know where it went and I don't know why I can't remember it. I don't know what that means or whether it means anything at all. I remember some things in so much detail that it hurts, but somehow I have lost a whole day. There is no detail, this one is blank right now.

My heart hurts as I try and sleep tonight, and now everything is jumbled up in my head too. I liked it better when I could remember because then I could work through it, but I've lost that tonight. I can't work through something that isn't there.

This week has been hard in the most unexpected ways and this is another one of them. Tomorrow will be the anniversary of something I don't think I actually remember.