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@Emelia8 Right now nothing seems real or right and there are no words that can take away your pain but you also have Holly that loves you unconditionally and needs you. You have done everything you could for your Hubby for so long Hon and right now we are only concerned for you - how you are, what you need and how we can support you. There really are no words that can 'fix' this or help but hoping that the real and genuine love that everyone has for you here provides a soft place for you to fall. Lean on those that want to help, allow yourself to do and feel what you need and know that everyone here is with you for whatever you need 
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