Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Mabel]

He stills blames me after 7 years.

Cannot understand why.

I have been helping him ..and I am the only support ge has.

He does not owns his illness

But makes me responsible for it

[tyme]

Hey @Mabel ,

Great to see you back! Have seen you in ages!

I'm sorry to hear that your son blames you for his illness when all you've done is support him. That is so hard to take. 

Would giving him some space allow him to see that he needs to own his illness and it is not your issue? I know this is hard for any parent, but sometimes, it's the only thing that works unfortunately.

[Mabel]

I agree..
He is living in share accomodation...but prefers to live in my small unit..
I have told him he can visit me for 1 or 2 days then go back to his place..
He is unwell for 7 years..have been homeless as well.
Until 2 years ago he is on CTO..but denies he has any problem...
His reality is different from mine..
At the same time I am his only support..
He does not want to ask for help ...
I am tired and sad...
I also have my own mental issues to deal with..

[tyme]

Is it supported accommodation @Mabel ?

I was in supported accommodation but for a short time only. Other people live there for years, but I just needed it for respite.

It's sad that he can't see he needs to help himself. One can only hope and pray that he does. 

It sounds helpful that you set boundaries around when he can come and stay. It's is a good way to protect yourself and him.

[Mabel]

Thank you so much for your message.

He is in shared accomodation...and does not like it. We all want to have our own place. He is in public house waiting list for 5 years.

He is 37...he has a long wait...

[tyme]

When you say 'shared accommodation', is that a room in a house with other people? Or is it more a medically supported place? @Mabel 

Hope you have been okay.

[Mabel]

Yes