when is it time for hospital

[outlander]

I really cant tell this new psych about it though, thats where im stuck. I dont even know about going to the SA cousellor. I know I should be completely honest during my therapy sessions but I honesly dont feel confortable siclosing this information to the new one wheras ive already told half the story to this other counsellor. I just done know what to do.

If tomorrows session doesnt go well, im not going back but then wouldnt it have been a waste of time trying to go through the VOC service? I dont want to waste the opportunity but at the same time it feels wrong and like im abusing the system.

The triggers for SA ill leave out unless it relates to my other trauma. Ive got many mnay triggers and things to work on other than SA
no I dont want too mnay conflicting views but illl see how tomorrow goes- if it doesnt work im not going back and ill stick with the new psychologist.

@Former-Member@Phoenix_Rising

[CheerBear]

Hey @outlander. It's good to see that you've settled on a decision regarding tomorrow and that you're giving it lots of consideration.

You're not abusing the system by trying counselling and deciding it's not for you, or not for you right now, or not for you with a certain counsellor. Just because you have been offered sessions doesn't mean you have to take them. It's also not a waste of time to try something and decide it isn't for you. A really good way of knowing whether something will help is to try it and decide.

Giving something a go is brave, proactive and important. Sticking with something until you feel confident about your decision seems like a pretty sensible and reasonable thing to do. Saying no to something can be pretty empowering and therapeutic too as well.

Good luck tomorrow. You're doing so well ❤️

[outlander]

Yeah ive decided buts its already got me rallied up @CheerBear
Its going to be a stressful day tomorrow
So its ok to see both psych then i can opt out with the one that doesn't fit me....
I am trying my best to move forward and i know ill have a few relapses but not to the extent of hospital.

[outlander]

Im super nervous about tomorrow and im also super embarrassed too 😞

[Owlunar]

Hi @outlander

The crackers and lemonade are fine while your tummy is upset - and the main thing is to keep off the dairy for a day or so - but I sure hope you enjoyed your proper dinner and you are feeling the better for it

I do understand about some things that are written. It's okay that people do - but there are times when I find it really hard and withdraw - I was triggered some weeks back - but that was the only time I think - but there are times when I understand that people are allowed to write what they write but it can throw a spanner through the works for some other people - so I am careful when I am vulnerable - and yes - time does not release us from the things that can upset us in a number of different ways

And this is okay and normal - and right now you have just come out of hospital and before that you were in a really bad place - I could see that things could not go on for you the way they were and I did not have any trouble at all keeping up with your posts and understanding - in fact - I read your posts most days even when I wasn't replying - just glad you had finally got the help you needed

Yeah - I get it that you want to keep the SA private and you were badly let down by someone - I forget who - and your mother was messaging you and her bf was having his say and no one was listening to you - this was not good - so I really get it

So wisely you need to pick who you tell and you need to feel comfortable about it - but I am glad you have told someone because I think this is the main cause of all the other things that have gone sour - and there was too much responsibility

It doesn't affect me now but when I was little I had some trouble with a couple of teenage girls who gave me a hard time when they were baby-sitting me - and my mother didn't believe me - and I was spanked. However - on the other side of this - I don't think I was ever sent back to be looked after by those girls again - so sometimes we have to come clean about things - harder when it's SA - true - 

Pick and choose your time and person and keep your eye open for the person who will be able to give you the help you need to get over this and live your life with less angst. Actually - I wonder if any one can get over SA - but like other trauma it is possible to live around it - and as I have not had such a horrible thing happen I do know what it's like to be in a position of being small and helpless - it's not a good place at all

I think you are doing brilliantly - you have had a tough life and you are mature and kind beyond your years - a great gift certainly - but you have had to pay for it

You write well and I am glad you are looking for another course - if you are studying medical terminolgy you might be able to become a receptionist for a medical centre - that would be a great career opportunity if you were able to do it and you are going the right way

Dec

[Owlunar]

Hi @outlander

---

@outlander wrote:
Hi @Owlunar @Former-Member ill write a better reply soon still out being busy

Ive just got a reminder from my victim's of crime counsellor asking to confirm or cancel the appointment i had scheduled fot tomorrow
Now what do u guys think
1. Go back to her even though she snapped at me
Or
2. Cancel her altogether and see how my new psych goes
Or
3. Go to both psychs as they are for two separate things

---

I didn't know the victims of crime counsellor snapped at you - that was not appropriate

When I was seeing my last therapist late last year I started contradicting her if I felt what she suggested was not the way things were for me - and she respected this - so - 

I would go back and tell your psyche this - she had no need to snap - and if she felt she did then she needs to know - perhaps she will be the best thing that has happened to you

You need to stick with Victims of Crime - you need to deal with that part of your past and it is not at all easy - this I know

Dec [sending hugz]

[Former-Member]

If they are good at their job outlander there should be a non threatening environmental so you feel safe disclosing this trauma.I don't know if talking helps,but sometimes you need to get someone else's view on it to understand and take away the victim blaming guilt.You have to deal with it for your sake,so you can move on in life.I know the trauma is hard to deal with .💖

[Former-Member]

Good Morning Claire @outlander 🙂 {I hope it's still morning by the time I post this! :)}

I feel for your confusion and fear. I think it is important to tell. I often feel like there's a little girl trapped in my mind, she died in there and has been rotting there my whole life. And there is another entity that hates her, hates her stupidity, her cowardice - why didn't she tell! I think you have an opportunity to let some of the negitivity out. I think you have the courage. Snap back, use that anger to force it out.

I'm sorry if this post is wrong. I also know that it can be impossible. Everyone can say everything, but you can only do what you can do. Keep trying. don't give up.

I hope your feeling better today Your keeping yourself so very busy 🙂

I don't know the rules of Doctors, but I don't think you should say anything more than what you want to say to anyone. If you choose to disclose one thing to one Doctor and another thing to another, I think that should be allowed. It's more than hard to disclose anything at all! Do it your way, that's the only right way.

Lots and loads of love to you

[outlander]

Hi guys
Will write later
Im bit flustered at the moment
Thank you all for caring

[outlander]

Im more than flustered
Im actually all over the place