when is it time for hospital

[outlander]

Hi @Owlunar @Former-Member ill write a better reply soon still out being busy

Ive just got a reminder from my victim's of crime counsellor asking to confirm or cancel the appointment i had scheduled fot tomorrow
Now what do u guys think
1. Go back to her even though she snapped at me
Or
2. Cancel her altogether and see how my new psych goes
Or
3. Go to both psychs as they are for two separate things

[outlander]

@Former-Member @eth @CheerBear @Phoenix_Rising above msg

[eth]

@outlander   I would go to both and tell her how you felt. One more  chance.  Missing you.  Just barely coping with my Mum here til tomorrow night.

[Former-Member]

Hello @outlander,

Ultimately the choice is up to you, but your asking advice - the truth is I wouldn't go to either! 😄 But what do I think is the best thing to do . . . I agree with Eth, give her another go, if you come out feeling bad about it again, then I wouldn't return. Help can be hard to come by, accept as much as you can

[outlander]

Ok ive got more time ow to give you guys proper responses 🙂

@Owlunar

ive been sipping lemonade all day and having dry biscuits. It seems to have died down and I while ive felt sick I havent had to run to the bathroom since about 11 this morning which is good. Hopefully it wont continue tomorrow.
And yeah im in the hate gastro bugs box too. It also sets my anxiety off so not a great moment for me.

I know you understand about not being here but wanting to but cant. Its a difficult place to be in isnt it..?

I tend to stick to only a few theads that I feel I can handle and if I cant handle it ill slip away aslong as other members are there supporting that person as well.

Im trying to fit back in. its very bloody difficult though. I didnt think it would be hard to fir back into it but it is hard, despite the changes happeneing its still I dont know- I kinda wish I was back there now. And thats not like me, I dont crawl back into these sort of options. I dont know why I am now 😞

@Former-Member
I am sick of seeing a gp but iv been ok since this morning. Still funny in the tummy but not having to run to the bathroom so im hoping this morning was the worst of it.
Ive been sipping lemonade and eating dry biscuits all day.

[outlander]

OK so despite having a bug or whatever it was this morning I have been quite busy

so this morning I fed all 4 horses and waited for the farrier to get their hooves trimed. So that took over an hour to do. I cleaned out the small ponies yard as well so thats cleaned.
So that took until 1ish and then come home and had lunch- my favourite dry buscuits and lemonade lol. Then at 2 I went and fed my new horse and didnt leave there until 5oclock. So ive just had a small real meal for dinner and I suppose ill find out how that goes within the next half hour or so.

Tomorrow is going to be busy and very stressful for me.

At 9oclock I have to leave to get to my SA counsellor. Ive given her one more shot but if I walk out of there and decide not to go abck I dont think theres much loss really. Im going to write out my story tonight which isnt going to be that great for me and give it to her tomorrow and hopefully she can actually help me.
When on the phone today she was rude to me too 😞 she sent me a msg saying- I need to know if your going to come to the appointment tomorrow outlander or do I have to cancel it'
I said to her 'ive been flat out so havent checked my msgs yet which at that point I didnt have time to reply, sorry for the late resopnse can I please keep the appointment'
her reply was yes outlander see you tomorrow
and tonight ive realised if I dont change it appintment to earlier ill be late to my next appointment so I msged her and asked (she doesnt finish till 7pm so I knew she was still working at that point) I asked If I could do an earlier time
her reponse was ' the earliest I can do is 930 no earlier otherwise keep the appointment for 10 or cancel it'
I asked to change it to 930 and said thank you

I somehow get the feeling shes going to have a loveley attitude towards me tomorrow. I dont have a good feeling about it and how its going to go tomorrow.

So then after my 930-1030 appointment tomorrow I have to go to my horse and feed her and then leave by 1 to get to my drs appointment.

Im super nervous for my gp appointment tomorrow. Its the first time ive seen her since ive been released from hospital and I cant control how nervous I am. I dont know what to say or how to act or anything. I dont know what shes going to ask or act or respond to anything and it makes me nervous.

Then ill be studying as ive just enrolled into another short course.

And I have also been offered 2 jobs today.
1 is a weekley 3 hour paddock cleaning and also help with the new aggistment owners part time horse care. So thats the same as the holiday care I have but im also working for the aggistment property owner as well who will give me specific horses and their weekly regimes etc

@Former-Member@eth@Owlunar@soul@Former-Member.

[Phoenix_Rising]

Hi @outlander,

It sounds like you have decided to give the SA counsellor another go. I don't really understand what you mean about seeing the two psychologists because they are for seperate things. You are one human being with one brain. You aren't a collection of boxes or labels or diagnoses. Whichever psychologist you end up seeing, they can only help you based on the information you give them. It doesn't really make sense to me that you would tell two different psychologists different parts of the story, as though the parts are seperate. Just my view.

[outlander]

hi @Phoenix_Rising

i understand your confusion, ill explain it better then maybe you might kinda get it and make more sense.

so the SA counsellor is based just on the Sexual abuse. the new counsellor that i have doesnt and i wont be telling her about the sexuall abuse. just because if i do say something she will know exactly who it was and she will probably report it plus itll be a setback in mums counselling. if i was to say to her that i was sexually abused etc etc and word was to get back to my mother oh shite i cant imagine what would happen and as mum and this counsellor are closely linked i think its best not to say anything regarding the abuse but work on the dog attack and other anxieties, mood management, coping strategies, trigger and expose therapy and depression.

and have this counsellor for jsut SA specific things like flashbacks and things like that

does that make abit more sense....?

[Phoenix_Rising]

@outlander Not really. From my perspective, knowing that you have a history of SA is a key piece of information for a psychologist to know. Didn't she ask you to list all your triggers? Aren't a lot of your triggers due to the SA? Anyway, I respect your choice.

[Former-Member]

I agree with Phoenix Rising outlander,and as I said last night ,this psychologist cannot tell your mother this,if they are any good they have to follow ethics regarding your rights to confidentiality and privacy.If you want the help,they can't help you if you don't give them the whole picture.

As for the SA counselor,that is up to you,if you aren't happy in the morning,or find its useless,don't go back.All depends what you want and what is help.I think you know by now it showed in what you said yesterday in the psychologists meeting.You know what works and what doesn't.You don't want too many conflicting views or to have to spill your guts too many times.

You do have to be honest with the psychologists,otherwise it's a waste of time,and the sexual assault is a trauma that effects your anxiety and coping skills.