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09-01-2018 03:52 PM
09-01-2018 03:52 PM
Wobbly
I was doing really well for months (as friends here would know because I ain't been around much). Then a few days ago my Ma had a stroke and I had to be the big person int he room at the hospital and dealing with family. I got through the hard bits with flying colours, held it together made treatment decisions, negotiated other people's input into those treatment decisions. Then once she was out of the woods, and not too much worse for wear luckily a mini-stroke and was back in her nursing home, I fell apart - frazzled, OCD kicked it and then huge spikes of anxiety. Unravelled a bit for a day, but felt okay last night when I went to bed. Woke up at 3.45AM this morning - DING - that is bipolar Mania bewitching hour for me. So, after 15 minutes of trying to grab my runaway mind, I got up had a coffee (go figure it helps my body catch up to my warp thought speed) and just read a book, when my medication time came I doubled down (took it and a PRN) and today all I have done is watch taped episodes of Long Lost Family and The Surgery Ship. Flopped about on social media. I did not ramp up any more than I was yet, I am trying to keep all my thinking low key and in the moment. So far so good. THAT is a huge leap forward for me in managing my MI. But, i am not out of the woods yet, Might be hypo, might go the rocket. Trying to stay steady. Good on me.
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09-01-2018 04:17 PM
09-01-2018 04:17 PM
Re: Wobbly
Hi @MoonGal, good on you for getting through the difficult tasks related to your mother's stroke. Sorry to hear this happened, but glad the stroke was of the less bad kind. I relate to being able to sometimes perform, even sometimes with flying colours, when the chips are down and I am needed. And I relate to falling apart afterwards, almost as though all that anxiety and other mental complication floods back at us after being held at bay for a time. I think a floppy day is in order. Take it easy, mainly just wanted to let you know you are heard.
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09-01-2018 04:29 PM
09-01-2018 04:29 PM
Re: Wobbly
Thanks @Mazarita, I am glad to have the reach out. 🙂 Specially from the lovely you!
I am over on this thread, just noticed Bubbles3 is having a hard time right now, so that is something I can do at least, just be there for someone if needed.
I have made a pact to not go online shopping or leave the house too. Changed dinner plans for tonight to be things in the fridge/cupboard so I don't fill the pantry up with exotic goods we will never use (I have a cupboard full of canned things that I look at and say I must of bought that Artichoke heart in Mediterranean brine when I was hypo. 😛 Ah right - and I am changing thoughts very rapidly. How did I get from Bubbles3 in distress to Artichoke hearts? Sheesh.
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09-01-2018 04:39 PM
09-01-2018 04:39 PM
Re: Wobbly
Cool, @MoonGal. Artichoke hearts can be good in pasta, I think. Wise move with limiting the online spending. I get on little sprees and spend too much money too at times, though not a huge extent thank goodness. Real shoppers would scoff at my paltry attempts (this is possibly due to lack of funds really), but they manage to dent my limited finances. I won't continue though, so you can focus on Bubbles3. Always good to see you. You are lovely yourself. ox
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10-01-2018 02:08 PM
10-01-2018 02:08 PM
Re: Wobbly
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10-01-2018 07:46 PM
10-01-2018 07:46 PM
Re: Wobbly
buHi @Bubbles3, I was doing better than you at the time and it is always helpful to look outward. I squirrel around in my own brain/mind and have learned over the past year or so that reaching out to others doing it tough is a great way to take me out of myself and my own problems, where I can. Yesterday was a hypo day - I have not soared all the way to mania and am feeling much better to day (if a little confused and irritable as is the way after whatever happens in my brain on hypo mania). Short sharp and shiney it was. I actually also quite LIKE myself in the first throes of hypo because my brain seems to sharpen up and words flow better.
I have gotten quite good at this whole "insight"gig through practising being present to the moment and dragging galloping thoughts to a standstill be being in the moment. Still have hours where I am just "in it" and can't see it but they are the minority lately.
Anyways - I hope you yourself @Bubbles3 are also feeling better than you were yesterday and there are no more nasty on effects from the day before that. Have you made a plan about next steps for yourselfcare?
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11-01-2018 11:11 AM
11-01-2018 11:11 AM
Re: Wobbly
only just seen your post.
im feeling quite good today considering with what going on. the last 2 days were sh*t. really sh*T. but im feeling good today. so thats good.
iv decided that i just have to get on and do the stuff that i need to do . i know it s going to upset me. but ill deal with at that time
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11-01-2018 09:19 PM
11-01-2018 09:19 PM
Re: Wobbly
Hi @MoonGal,
It sounds to me like you are super good at the insight thing!
I agree with you that reaching out to others who are doing it tough super helps the person doing the reaching out too. I guess that's one of the cool things about Forum Land - sometimes we are the reach-out-er and sometimes we are the reach-out-ee.
I'm super glad to hear you were able to use your skills around staying in the moment, to help avoid going into full mania. I think that is awesome.