Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

[oceangirl]

Morning Hams

Have a great day

Thinking of you my friend

@MDT 

Hi @Shaz51 @Meowmy @Jacques @Emelia8 

How are you?

[MDT]

@oceangirl

Hey good to see you.

Yeah its a rough ride atm 😕

[BlueBay]

Hey @MDT 

hope your day goes smoothly for you xx

Hi @oceangirl  hope you are doing okay, sorry i haven't spoken to you for a while. xxxoo

[MDT]

Hey @BlueBay
I posted over on your thread

[Schitzo]

I hope you have a good and quick day at work @MDT 🌞

[MDT]

Thanks @Schizo
Need a break hey. Exhausted atm. And a bit sad too

[MDT]

There's a lot of harshness these days

[MDT]

Home

[MDT]

hi forumites
I posted this earlier elsewhere online:
It's a been testing time for me this year. On the job front I am currently stuck in a role I don't really like and find tedious and dull. It's crushing me a bit tbh. I've been struggling A LOT with depressive episodes and anxiousness. I feel sorry for myself, angry and bitter towards myself a lot of the time too. It's hard. Very hard.

I recently got told at work that I should apply for a new position that was advertised because two of my managers said I fit the criteria. Well I didn't even make it to the interview stage. Failed at the first hurdle in other words. I was very annoyed by that. I thought "well I will never apply for a job here again". I actually felt the most stupid I have ever felt in my whole life - that is really saying something

I nearly went back to hospital last week as I had some SI issues (suicidal ideation) at the time at work. I was really tired and fed up as well. My health has been average I guess - Don't really go regurlay to the gym anymore as I don't care about it. I see marginal benefit coming out of it and nothing more - it's not a priority perhaps?

A priority at the moment is to both find a job that doesn't crush me with boredom and angst and also move out. I feel like a complete loser still being stuck at home. Indeed, I think people must think this about me too...

The dating game has been a joke this year - back in March i had a facebook video chat date type thing which was nice because the girl I spoke to - felt like we got along. she had to move up the coast though and we spoke a bit since then.. but the other day she just ignores me completely. IT was a long time coming I think. There was another in the same boat but without any facebook video chat. I get matches and stuff... but it never eventuates.. maybe i give off a vibe I don't actually have.. who knows.. It's stupid really.

Then today I get to work and I am sick of it by 9:30 - I tell myself that I have managed 90mins so far..

I am hoping they grant my leave request for 1 week early. I am really over the place and the whole year and all of this crap tbh

Sorry.

[Meowmy]

@MDT hey Hamza, I was much the same like you are now in my younger days. Hope you have more good days in the future. It will get better. Take care. Just watching the shadows of the clouds and listening to the wind here.