Lived Experience Forum

[Dani1981]

Hello,

I'm a mother of three young children and a wife to someone who loves me dearly. Yet I feel unfulfilled and lonely. I feel bored in my life and I dont know why?

Maybe it has something to do with losing joy in my life. I work six days a week, of which two are half days but that doesnt mean much because the day is pretty much over by the time I get back home. 

I enjoy work, but i enjoy 'me' time more.

My sister is in hospital, and will be discharged on Wednesday. So I think i will feel a bit better when she's home. I will be busier and will have someone to listen to. She does most of the talking. 

I have also reached out to my friends who I lost contact with over the last two months. That recreated a line of communication. And I felt a large sense of relief that I had gotten back in touch with them.

All in all, I should be grateful for the life Ive been dealt. However I sat at the counsellor's office today crying my eyes out because of all my hardships in my life. I was emotionally neglected as a child, though I dont blame my parents - they did the best they could given their circumstances. My father passed away in 2018, which I still havent resolved in my head. My mother is still extremely critical of my sister and I. And I know that it's not helping either of us. My sister and I both have mental health problems. But I always thought positive. Possibly thanks to my sister because she would constantly reassure me and tell me that she didnt think I had a mental illness. 

So I am looking forward to Wednesday. And looking forward!!

Thank you @Former-Member for reaching out to me on my other post. I'm sorry that you feel alone every day. I know how that feels right now.

[outlander]

hello @Dani1981  and welcome

it sounds quite tough for you but i can relate to your post. like you i often feel lonley in a room full of people too. it sometimes feel like the whole worlds going by but yet im not going anywhere. mental health can make life a little more challanging when it comes to feeling less lonely. 

it seems like your really close to your sister-is that right? Sometimes when we are really close to someone and we dont talk as much or see them as much due to many reasons (in your case your sisters admission) it can also feel lonely too, like a piece of you is missing.. maybe thats how your feeling abit more atm?

You said that recconecting with some old friends was helpful, do you think you could arrange to see one or 2 of them in the coming days as a catch up?

or maybe you could join in with some social/interest groups in your area to connect with some new people and maybe also help your bordeom too?

The bordeom i find can make us feel abit lonely too. my life is quite mundane even though im usually busy so i find i need to change things up sometimes too just to break up the same old routine. do you think you could try out some new hobbies or even just visit a place youve never been/havent been to in a while?

[Dani1981]

Hello @outlander,

Thank you for your reply.

Yes, I am looking forward to catching up with a friend tomorrow. She has a month old baby and I'm going to meet him 🙂 

I would love to join some groups, but with the whole panic situation with the Corona Virus could potentially squash that idea?

[outlander]

oh that sounds exciting @Dani1981
i do hope you enjoy your day!

yes unfortunately the coronavirus is causing a lot of panic but most social groups are only small. the ones ive seen really only have a max of like 10-15 people at the most unless they are sporting sorts of groups. most places now have hand sanitiser and strict hygiene rules (like not coming if you show any cold/flu symptoms) as a general rule even before this virus appeared. its up to you but it still might be a good idea to take a look at some groups.

[Former-Member]

Hey @Dani1981 , you're welcome for reaching out, that's what I'm here for. I'm sorry you're struggling, I wish i could do something and take your pain away, the same with everyone on the forums, I feel bad because I can't, sigh.

Hello also @outlander .

[Dani1981]

Thank you @outlander I will. Do you have any ideas where I may look to join these groups? This is the first time for me!!

Thank you @Former-Member I think it helps a lot to just know there are people out there who care.

[outlander]

Like everything these days the best place to start would be online. Doing searches like 'social groups in (your area name)' or pick an interest such as 'craft group (your area name) might bring some things up.
Local libraries, or community centres may also have information. Sometimes groups are actually held in these places.

I always find FB to be a great help. You could have a look on there by using thr search bar 'social groups or 'support groups' and seeing if something comes up. If nothing shows you could write your own post on some of the pages local to you asking if anyone knows of any mothers/parents groups, walking groups or whatever else you might like as well and see what pops up...

[Dani1981]

Thank you @outlander 

Will do !!

[Former-Member]

I agree @Dani1981 , and you're welcome

[Shaz51]

hello and hugs @Former-Member , @Dani1981 , @outlander