NOT SURE?

[Appleblossom]

Thanks @Shaz51

[Appleblossom]

This is just a "social" update.

I was mocked and putdown by a lawyer lady in my choir on Thirsday night, so I didnt go on Sunday.  She has done it quite a few times before .. I made her feel welcome when she arrived .. but she cannot cope with the stigma of my story .. I certainly was not over-sharing, but friendly and treated her as a professional peer.

I miss my old choir friends who I sang with for 5 years in that choir, but they both are too frail to make it to the venue.

As I left last rehearsal, the accompanist invited me to a concert and to share a meal with a group of friends, the lawyer lady was contemptuous of him actually being a friend of .. mad .. me .. 

He at least .. made the point of waiting for me to "include" me ..

Why do social situations have to be so fraught??  Up & down .. so many people have so mauch baggage .. that they get kicks out of putting people down.  Trying not to let bad behaviour by others be internalised any more.

Anyway .. going out tonight .. hope it goes ok.

[Former-Member]

It's great to have an update @Appleblossom.  I hope tonight goes well. It seems even though you have a few really difficult people to deal with in choir there seems to be those who see 'you' too, your talents, intellect and your personality. I think this is a good thing, you naturally draw people to you too so don't forget that when things are hard 

[Shaz51]

Hello @Appleblossom, @Former-Member, @Former-Member, @Former-Member, @Kurra xx

Hi @Appleblossom 

feeling a bit aching tonight , hope I am not getting another infection , see the specialist on thursday xx

[Appleblossom]

Good Luck tomorrow with spec @Shaz51

Thanks @Former-Member

Yesterday I saw my osteo and my old student's parent/GP .. who made friendly overtures again in the clinic.  That clinic has been essential for my survival; a mix between client/professional/medical friend. i didnt really understand how much I was damaged .. or even how visually obvious it was to most.

Last night went well socially .. no hiccups.

Connected with 3 people in regular contact with .. only one of them is a "sensitive" and it was his concert we attended.  

The other 2 are addicted to being on top and a bit feisty and wounded in their own ways, but mean well, or are simply overwhelmed by their responsibilities.  

I had a couple of words with each which were straight, authentic .. and I think they finally understand my situation .. so there is hope for me with that group .. I have had to be patient and spell things out. It is a big win for stigma as they are both in positions of authority, but had been a bit rigid and uninformed in their attitudes to mental illness. I hope that changes.

[Former-Member]

That's great to hear  @Appleblossom. I think patience is really important when making new friendships or maintaining friendships. We all come with our own baggage which can't be unloaded at the first station. I'm so glad to hear you being and feeling authentic with it too. Keep on being you 💜🤗

[Appleblossom]

Thanks @Former-MemberI am pretty good at keeping tabs on not unloading it all .. and keep a professional distance as required with work with small children and community groups etc.,

It is when the little exchanges start to take place and the question of who is a peer with who ...

that things get tricky.

Last night was great .. I was invited by a .. pianist/friend (I think?) and a 6 degrees of separation friend of a friend...I guess I am still a bit teenagery in finding meaning in little coincidences.  Mind you there werent many coincidences for me to get excited about when I was a teen ..  I was probably seen as a bit of an oddball harmless wraith of a person, who agreed with almost everything ..probably catching up on maturity steps that I missed.

I made a new acquaintance with an ex mayor .. with whom I had easy rapport and could yack on .. uninhibited .. so felt a bit better about the lawyer lady ..and yes they knew how to assert themselves but everyone also seemed to know how to take turns and play nice.

[Former-Member]

That's awesome @Appleblossom. I'm really happy for you that you had found a space to let your hair down and be you with all the rewards that should come with those interactions. Perhaps the unloading baggage at the station was really me projecting me. Sometimes I've done it before a bit like taking medicine, dump it and chase it down with something more pleasant. I was watching the video you put up. I can see me with it too, the oversharing one. 

[Former-Member]

And I'm having a really bad sucky day so perhaps ignore anything I say. I probably need to not post.😬😳😏😠☹️😧 

[Appleblossom]

ALL GOOD @Former-Member

I have had the overshare problem in a big way .. but I also have been analytical and careful about how I present in different roles and groups.

This forum has been good for me .. as it is about ALL OF ME .. and I dont have to chop bits off that are aproppriate here or there.

I am still delicato .. which is why the person who invited me being a sensitive is important to me .. we dont agree on politics at all and have very different personal styles, but now have a few years of musical and social experience together ..

Gentleigh Bentleigh Bella .. you are still beautiful .. thanks for chat today