Dear @MissinTooth
Iv read your introduction again -
My oldest son went through times of psychosis when he did his Philosophy degree -
Ide not feel bad that you struggle. In my eyes, at your age, ide feel proud to keep on going.
Then, my brother who knows and supports my son -- told me he had absolutely no idea how to support him. He said he never ever been confronted by that before as my son was put in a locked ward. And my brother is the head of an Education Department in a University. Me, a pensioner, struggling away was so surprised -- he who has a PhD in Education did not know what to do and I little me with nothing managed it. I gave him advice !!
I'm the wonderful age of 57. I been in therapy for longer than iv been talking
it feels
that my mother and step father have both narcassism as a diagnosis and my mother also Borderline personality disorder.
This is not a bad thing
but it's bad if you do not recognise your own diagnosis . It can slip away into not speaking your own truth. Also at their age, it made them both very defended and angry because of the no empathy bit that THEY show.
In borderline personality disorder what I learned is that one loves very deeply and care very deeply. I learned in my little story that yes my mum loves deeply but not to me. She needs to be seen and pushes her way into every little thing happening around her.
I digress.
My problems - with help from Sane Forums, psychotherapy and having the love from a wonderful husband -
I'm boundary less.
It's very difficult to acknowledge this. Does this make me a bad person - I used to think it did - it sounds horrible.
But now I. Realised - after actually having the confidence to walk away from my Mum,
Be loved by my husband
Bring loved by my step mother ( !!)
Having proper support
I'm boundary less. I have NDIS from a serious head injury - I'm very high functioning -----
I can't drawing lessons
I can't play the guitar
It's like I will bend over backwards and go to huge excuses not to go.
I can't even go to the lessons I dearly want to go to at the lake munga community centre
it's from a deep self hatred.
I can't even get my support workers to drive me there.
It's ingrained in me. I think it's too late to change. It's a habit.
Even after millions of years of therapy from a very good Psychotherapist.
@MissinTooth @Oaktree @avant-garde @avant-garde @Appleblossom @Glisten @ENKELI @Gibbs @Bunnykins @BPDSurvivor @creative_writer @Faith-and-Hope @utopia @TAB @Alittleorange @Pumba23 @Cas @Shaz51
@Historylover @Dimity
