When things get tough here on the Forums

[Former-Member]

Oh that's exciting but hope you didn't do that for me specifically yikes! Just thought it might be good.... 🙂
I'll be tuned in though

[PeppiPatty]

Awesome ! Ille try and be here for Tuesday 🎯🎯🐩🐀🐐🐏🐑🐎🌺🍀☘🌳🌹🌿🎄🐿🐇🐈🐩🐕

[Appleblossom]

I am feeling scapegoated and pummelled.  To admit to anger is only part of the issue ... when one attacks another personally ... it is not right ... childishly acting out ... it is not just a question of all points of view are relative ... so the problem becomes for me ... how to put a stop to it ... or find reconciliation ... avoidance can only work so much.

[PeppiPatty]

Dearest @Appleblossom

We have had our.....spackies in the past but we always known that there is total affection for each other.....

Can you think like that again that I am here with you? we have worked hard on our friendship and we have a lot of mutual friendship for each other.

Sweetheart @Appleblossom

You have shown so much resiliance in the past.

YOu ar better than this because remember when we joined...it was a little confronting and weird that you join such a brilliant forum......but both of us didnt know that it was..........

1. @Former-Member thinks of us as her online Mums! How can you shy away from that??

Loopy is here!! Yay, Ive missed him so much.........

[Former-Member]

Hugs @peppypatti it's so hard with these issues ... The one drawback of the faceless nature of the forums. I think cherry and shimmer were spot on in their responses about intentions and how we can each subjectively find a completely unintended meaning. Particularly around our own soft/sore spots. Sometimes I think I've been so sure that a similar experience of neglect or rejection is going to happen that I've started seeing it in everything about a relationship but it's actually been the glasses I was choosing to look through rather than really 'knowing' the other persons feelings or intentions. We are all here for help and support and connections with fellow mi warriors - I know you have always had best intentions and have always felt a true heart behind what you write @PeppiPatty , hope you're doing ok xxx

[PeppiPatty]

Dear  @Former-Member 

How are the kiddies? Are they in bed?

I dont care about that kerfuffle but Im mindful of this old way of seeing things.....

many years ago....the famous Psychotherapist Freud used to write that people are basically agressive and mean but of course he's been proven wrong

and in this forum....we prove that all we want is kindness and compassion to shine through straight away.

But sometimes,, when your in trauma and sadness, some people can not understand what you mean. they get scared and yell.

In 1988 I got this huge money compensation payout and years later...my Dad stole the home money I had .....

but before bad things happened, I got this payout and lost all my friends because of the payout.,

I was immature and didnt understand things. But I was very traumitized. I was very psychologically ill, I was lonely and I used to yell all the time, I remember I would yell at the people who were the most caring to me. Like my Psychiatrist I had. I would see her weekly and would just yell at her. Or ...my neighbours....

My greatest shame....oh I cant talk about it but I used to yell all the time.

And thats it. You have memories how you deal with stuff and you change.......and have memories when it happens to you and you learn, you understand and either put boundries down or just anderstand

[Appleblossom]

Yes I noticed and was pleased that  @Loopy  and @Former-Member resumed posting.

I wouldnt just disappear @PeppiPatty ... yes I take my mother hen role seriously .. but too many mums can spoil the broth ... @Former-Member seemed threatened ... and reacted ... I am not cold and robotic.  I have feelings ... to be or not ... to ignore or give careful attention ... they are all things I think about ... I dont get offended in a high-horse manner ... just sad.

A lot of the earlier forumites took risks sharing and giving ... they started a culture. It resonated with my desires and dreams for a no Bulldust positive forum for mental health issues, so I jumped in ... even if I back away for a while I still have received from posting.

I have always been a risk taker .. and decided to generate a lot of discussion and did not want to leave a post unanswered ... there were so many that broke my heart to read ... and I still think of some of the stories ... the man afraid of losing his son ... the man with a long history of tough mi and then finally getting cancer ... and being very angry ...  but there were many posts that gave me courage that possibilities are better even though we still need change in the system.

Regarding you and I .. it just seemed obvious to me that we had similar ideals but very different ways of expressing ourselves ... in theory, they say the little bumps strengthen us and our relationships ... better than superficial agreement ... but the norming and storming ... anyway I hope that is so, that we all perform better.

[Chris]

I haven't been on the forum for quiet a while, so I was interested to real the comment on this thread. This relates to what I said about it being disrespectful. It accorded to me that what happened for me was that I felt I was being talked over the top of. I lost my voice to be heard here. I was effectively shut down and shut out. It takes a lot for me to speak up. I find in nearly impossible to ask for what I want, and this was just another example of that.

I don't know if that makes sense. I also know that it wasn't intentional. It was a sensitivity that I wasn't really aware of at the time.

[PeppiPatty]

Dear @Chris

Apologies. Your message is impressive ..........that you wrote it.

Please accept my sorry.
Please write more