The Challenges of Mental Health Wellbeing

[outlander]

I knew I saw it coming, and although I didn't prepare for it very well, it has hit me much harder that I expected.

what did you see coming, but didnt prepare for? @Sans911 

um your one of the thoughest people i know! theres no way you need to toughen up more. and when you are being smashed from every angle its hard to do it on your own, tbh im not surpsied your feeling rather overwhelmed

yes it is up to you how you react to critisim and invalidations however when most of your life has been about being invalidated and constantly crisitised it becomes an almost automatic response to how you react to them. it takes alot of hard work and time to be able to train your brain into a more healthy response. hmm maybe thats not the right word but hoping it makes sense?

[Sans911]

Being overwhelmed by everything I am trying to keep a lid on. Well, the lid has opened earlier than I thought @outlander. You have the makings of a great counseller in the last paragraph. Thanks for understanding me lil Sis.

@SnowieI am not tagging you as much in these conversations, as I know you are in bed. I will say goodnight now before you slip off in to lala land

[outlander]

your more than welcome sis @Sans911 and thank you that is a really lovely thing to say  

would it help to talk about some of the emotions overflowing atm? or would talking about something else be better fo now?

[Faith-and-Hope]

It doesn’t stop it from hurting though @Sans911 ..... and it’s what to do with pain that tends to keep us a bit stuck.   I have suffered an awful lot of invalidation, and it is a big part of our challenges as the moment ..... I am being the one viewed as to blame for what is happening to my family ..... and that validation will only come to me with a diagnosis over my hubby ..... bittersweet, because it will also be the point where he has to face his demons (who don’t exist in his current thinking).

We want to numb out the pain ..... if we stub our toe, we jump around holding it, going, “ow, ow, ow”, then put ice on it, blow it, bind it, take some paracetamol and elevate it .....

So what do we do with emotional pain ?   I have thought about this long and hard, because the objective with this needs to be nurturing in nature, not self-sabotaging and harming.

For staters, I think it is really important to go, “ow, ow, ow”, which is what you did on the helpline last night.  

Next, perhaps indulge in a little emotional eating ..... a little, not a lot .... and something that can be considered good for you (nurturing).  I sometimes have an ice coffee with ice cream in it, or a piece of carrot cake (as opposed to cream cake or doughnut) ..... even just a cup of tea that warms you lik3 a bit of a hug on the inside.

I crank up the music .... which often makes me cry, because the beat, or the words, or the beauty of the melody pulls at my heartstrings ..... but it also interferes with the ability for thoughts about how badly done by I was to go spinning around inside my head.

I walk ..... “these boots were made for walkin’” cos it helps to burn the adrenaline that comes from the anger and despair of being mistreated.

If I can afford to, I go for a foot massage, because it’s someone taking care of me, even though I am paying them to.  If I can’t afford it I use a hot face washer to lay across the back of my neck, hold up to my face, wipe my feet ..... heat rub on the back of your neck and feet is good too.

Layers and layers of self-care ..... acknowledging that I hurt and need comfort.

Hugs are good too, if you know any good huggers .....

[outlander]

still here for you @Sans911

[Sans911]

I am logging out lil Sis. Thanks for the company; I am going to try to get some sleep

Goodnight ... @outlander @Faith-and-Hope

[outlander]

Goodnight sis im proud of you for coming on tonight 💜💙💜💙💜💙 @Sans911

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hugs and hugs @Sans911 ...... as many as I can squish through the screen to you .....

💜💙💚❤️💕

[outlander]

Morning sis @Sans911 💜

[Snowie]

Morning sis @Sans911. 

Firstly thankyou for coming on last night. It takes courage to let people know what is happening when we are struggling so much, so well done for talking a bit last night and for ringing the helpline as I know how hard that can be for us.

I haven't many words that @outlander and @Faith-and-Hope haven't already said, so glad they were here for you last night. Hope today is a little better for you