not feeling good

[utopia]

@Owlunar. Yes this forum has gotten so big. Almost impossible to keep up with everyone's day.
The public mental health system is so underfunded - that they can only take those in the middle of hallucinations, paranoia or who attempted suicide. It's a bad system. We desperately need proper funding. So no - I would not be 'eligible' for a publiv hospital bed. I really don't know how others cope. Thank God for Workcover. At least I get a bed. And can get better before I get any worse.

[BlueBay]

Hi @utopia I hope you have settled in hospital. Thinking of you my friend. Hugs BB XXOO

[BlueBay]

I need help from @Former-Member or anyone
I'm feeling numb no feeling or emotion at the moment. Since my psych increased my mood stabiliser I'm not feeling anything. I want to cry so much but can't. The tears won't glow and it's frustrating.
What do I do. How do I live without going more crazy than I am?

[BlueBay]

Above should read - flow NOT glow

[CatrionaB]

Thanks for your post Bluebay, I'm going to send you a private email to check in. 

[Shaz51]

sending you hugs @BlueBay 

[Owlunar]

Aw @BlueBay

I'm just about crying tears for you - your emotions are so chaotic - feeling them ebb and flow the way they do is so disturbing for you - and now they have gone and way and you feel lost without them

Somewhere in the middle of all of that is your "normal state of being". As the layers of your anguish are moved aside and peeled back you will find they are not as scary as they seem to you now - and not having them is probably worse that having them - I would think so if it was me

I guess I am rather used to my emotional fragility by now - not that I like it

Oh gee - I wish I had been on yesterday afternoon - I missed your post and cry for help

I sure hope your settle soon - I am sure you will - your new psyche is treating your for mood disorders - not depression - and so picking up the past is part of the job as well as reordering your moods

How rotten for you!!

Dec 

[BlueBay]

Thankyou @Shaz51 and @Owlunar
All of a sudden I let the tears flow last night for no particular reason. I told the nurse I was upset and she calmed me down. Then another patient saw me snd we sat together and spoke for a while. I felt better after that.
You know after that cry I was ok. The nurse explained what the mood tabs would do. It made sense. But the not feeling any emotion is pretty scary.
Today I'm going to visit my sister. Hubby and my daughter with her partner are coming also.
I went home yesterday but couldn't get motivated. But we went shopping and put on lay by a new lounge a new dining table and a coffee table. Very exciting.
How are you dec? I often think of you but forget to write on here and then feel bad. Sending you a hug xxoo

[Owlunar]

I am okay @BlueBay

I had a few days off because I was off-colour - I really don't know why - but I am okay now - and there is no need to worry if you can't write more than you do - I understand -

You are really having a tough time now - I totally get it - I have done a lot of crying in my time as well -

As you recover you will find that you are likely to feel grief for your lost emotions - whatever they were and however unpleasant they were - but they did stir you up and it will take time to adjust - but I am sure you won't feel as badly as you did yesterday - and that nurse sounds fabulous

And getting new furniture - I want some myself - I might get a recliner as my chairs are second-hand uncomfortable but will last while the cat is taking it out on the couch - but I am really going to have to get her claws cut this week - she's scratching me too much now and I am really not to keen on that - I need a stand for my piano keyboard also - it's on the dining room table now and the table takes up too much room and I really don't need it - and I could use the front room as a sitting room when the weather is not too hot or too cold. That room is actually the front bedroom but it's a bit like your moods - too much one way or the other and the A/C won't blow in there - I have been living in the smaller back bedroom for years now and it is private and cosy in there

All the best BB - I know you will recover - this new psyche you have - he sounds great

Dec

[Zoe7]

@BlueBay Thinking of you my beautiful little yellow flower... and sending love and strength you way...

...still sitting on your shoulder...

Zoe