Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[QueenCornelia]

Hi, my son has had OCD since her was about 8. He’s now 15. We see a psychiatrist & planning to start him on medication shortly. In the meantime, the intensity of his anxiety & compulsions is almost too much for us to live with. He screams at us if we sigh or sneeze or cough near him, he is constantly aggressively demanding we wash clothes & bedsheets, even when they have not been used, & they have just been washed earlier that day. The house is small, currently crammed with his things hanging up as we try to het them dry. There is nowhere for anyone else to hang laundry. We have a younger child living here also, & I worry what the constant screaming & arguments will have on her life growing up. He won’t do anything at all around the house, in terms of helping - he demands aggressively the kind of assistance with things that a 5yo needs - I made a cake the other day & he screams at us to cut him a slice because he “doesn’t know how to”. He refused to go to school today because he could not find his uniform & also refuses to let us into his room. We have had to buy him new uniforms today, even though what he needs is already in his room (which is a complete tip) somewhere. I am at my wits end, have never felt so bleak. Any thoughts or support greatly appreciated. 

[lavenderhaze]

Hi @QueenCornelia ,

I'm so sorry to hear about the challenges you're facing with your son's OCD. It sounds incredibly overwhelming. It's great that you're seeking help and planning to start medication soon.

In the meantime, I was wondering if you are seeking support from a therapist? Maybe someone who specializes in OCD could provide valuable guidance for both you and your son. They can offer coping strategies and techniques to manage the symptoms more effectively. 

Please keep on connecting here and hopefully, you'll find this to be a very supportive community. ❤️

[tyme]

As much I hear how much your son is struggling @QueenCornelia , I hear how hard it is on your and your family. 

OCD on top of a teenage brain sounds very challenging. I have worked with young people in the past who have severe anxiety. The school was so supportive in making adjustments so that the student could be at school. Does the school have anything in place for your son?

As much as I hear OCD is a cause for a lot of the issues, from experience, I feel it's important to set clear boundaries so he knows where the line is drawn. e.g. if he asks you for something, he needs to do it respectfully.

I hope you find space for yourself to work through this as I hear how hard it is.

Please look after yourself. 

We are here for you.

[tyme]

Hey @QueenCornelia , 

How are you and your family going?

Thinking of you and hope you have some answers.

[MumMumMum]

We are in a very similar situation @QueenCornelia. It's terrible, relentless and dispiriting.  I'd love some guidance from the OP on boundary setting in this scenario. We feel like we are managing a very large, aggressive toddler, also with a younger sibling who is the feature of some of the intrusive thoughts. 

[DonyMaV]

Hi we are in a very similar situation with our son 19yo slowly depriving himself from the enjoyment of his life. 
he cannot be touched, we must clean the place in order for us to live the house (floors, furniture, clean clothes, etc) and it’s almost impossible for him to function normally throughout the day. 
repeated routines between cleaning his hands and forearms after and before touching things, needs for help to open doors or taps etc etc.

We know where we stand, OCD, does not cure itself and won’t get better alone without treatment and medicines but we ask HELP as parents to find the way to convince our son to seek for assistance and accept help because we are harmless and powerless towards the only thing can start to help him. His acceptance to be helped although he acknowledges his troubles. 
pls assist. Thank you. 

[Dottyx]

I am in the same situation. my 19 year old left home because of this and is now living in his car and unwilling to return…I really fear for him and am at a loss as to what to do