SPRING-Clean Declutter - Need Help

[Faith-and-Hope]

Thank you @Former-Member .... 🤗💕

And yeah ..... clueless about spoilers myself @Former-Member ...... let’s see if we can find someone not-so-techno-dinosaur to help us out here ..... ??

[Former-Member]

@Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member @Teej @Smc @Determined @soul

update re decluttering start...

have managed to have messed up two bedrooms stuff on floor and beds plus hallway...

have been doing about 5 things at once and getting nowhere...

although I did explain to husband that it might look like a mess....I understand the mess..

will have to clean up bedroom before bedtime only downside

[Former-Member]

Thanks you all, appreciate your the support. But best stay on track with the decluttering, will take this convo to the other side (carers 'depression dementia dad). Its nice to know people know me here, and appreciate how hard each step is (for me) much of the time. I don't show this side much IRL. Thank you xox

[Faith-and-Hope]

Thank you @Former-Member ..... this has been a wonderful thread ..... and it channels your purposeful energy so well ..... drawing others along with you in the enthusiasm ....,,

Good on you .... 🏅

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member @Determined @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member @utopia @Smc @1stepup61

Bit by bit, we CAN

[Adge]

@SmcSince you mentioned family feuds & breakdowns, over sorting clutter or clearing houses....

My brothers & Mum have been going through that for several months now.

It's all happening in NSW, & I'm in WA - which is the only reason why I'm not copping it all directly.

They've been trying to clear our family house (that I grew up in) for sale.

It's the house that Dad still lived in (on his own), before he died (almost 2 years ago). Mum blames Dad for all the hoarding, but in fact she is a hoarder too.

My Mum has been obstructing many efforts by my brothers, to clear the house - to sell it for her, which is what she wants.

It has finally been almost cleared, & is now up for sale (very sad).

Mum has brought many things over to her house, which has now made it very cluttered.

One of my brothers still lives with Mum, & he is very distressed at the cluttered state of their house now - due to Mum taking so many things over there (from the old house).

I keep being told several sides of the story - I'm caught right in middle, even though I live on the other side of the country.

Adge

[Adge]

It's been very difficult, almost heart-breaking really.

Dad wanted to have the old house cleared before he died, but he was too much of a hoarder - even when many people tried to help clear it.

So the legacy, conflict & struggle has been left to try to resolve - long after he's been gone.

They are also having difficulty selling the house - as a result of the slightly dilapidated state that it's in (needing major repairs), & because of the garage remaining cluttered.

I just had a 1 hour difficult phone conversation with Mum today about it.

They're being offered a very low price for the house, because of it's state.

Adge

[Smc]

@Adge, Mum always worried about Dad's full shed. She always thought she would be able to clear up the house before moving into some kind of retirement home, and couldn't see that her heallh was deteriorating to the point where she couldn't do it. Maybe she was afraid to face up to it.  She wouldn't let us help her either- she'd get upset, thinking we were going to throw it all away. We just wanted to get some of it sorted while she was still around to benefit from us doing so.

I think Mum had been seeing too many TV horror stories about family members who took everything and left their parents alone with nothiing. She probably passed on her fears to Dad, who is really sweet minded, but with his dementia, he's easily influenced by other people's view of the situation. Which does also mean that when he's getting positive feedback instead, he's good to be around.

Funny thing is, we can track the timeline of Dad's dementia by his collections. He was very ordered about them, practically scientific, but as his mental processing deteriorated, his collections became more random and disorderly. 

[Former-Member]

I can't even walk into dad's shed (cluttered up to the door), what a nightmare that will be, yikes!