Life can be a Pain

[EternalFlower]

Hi @Appleblossom @Owlunar @Oaktree @tyme 

Nice that u can appreciate short term friendships @Owlunar and keep positive interactions around. I guess you have a good way with people to be able to have so many people in ur life coming in. And ur right this space is a stripped back truth bubble. So these friendships are pretty special. 

I am having a horrible time and havent let my house since thursday. I need painkillers [edited by moderator to remove medication name] and have pain but cant leave the house as so depressed. It is hard not having support irl.

[Appleblossom]

Yes I guess I have resilience @EternalFlower  but also am vulnerable and feel my isolation.  Being in choirs as helped me feel less alone as the mind heart and soul are all engaged in being in harmony with others.  Sadly the musical feelings are often separate from the sense of real intimacy or closeness of others knowing us and caring about us.  Still it has been intersting reflecting that I went to 2 concerts this weekend and knew people at both,  I have to be analytical about it and not cling too tightly to my hope of finding friends as dissapointment is difficult, but I am silly I always get hopeful. Maybe my inner child ....lol 

They say true friends are rare.  Hope you find a way to depth in the enoughness of your own person and move through these hard times.

@tyme @Oaktree Hugs

@Owlunar For a while I decided not to initiate conversation when out and about, but making the most of small encounters these days.  Since Covid many people seem more open to enjoy the transient and spontaneous moments.  I thought of you on the train last night and needing to speak to get through the crowd.  Thinking that will be me in a few years....lol  

Gently Bently all

Apple

[Appleblossom]

Silly story for you @Owlunar 

https://www.abc.net.au/classic/read-and-watch/news/barn-owl-rescued-from-cathedrals-organ-pipe/10238... 

[Owlunar]

@Appleblossom 

Aw Apple - I so love this story - it's beautiful - I'm so glad they saved the little barn owl out of the organ pipe - and now I am happy he is off being a raptor - as he (or she) should be

Thanks for that message - I was happy to see it

Owlunar

[Owlunar]

@Appleblossom 

Hi again Apple -

True friends are hard to find - who knows - there might be one in the future - I don't know.

I thought I had a good friend many years ago now - when all our children were about the same age - but things fell apart - as they do sometimes - and so with other people - I guess I feel okay about casual friendships - I don't get hurt when they - or I - move on.

Back during the Black Summer I met a woman and we thought we could be movie buddies - she talked a lot - non-stop - but did shut up for the length of the movie. After a while I couldn't take this non-stop - I can't think of a good word - oh yes - diatribe - so I wasn't a good friend myself - 

Boundaries - boundaries and gentle bently - eh!

I have a voice though and when I choose to I use it - mostly people like my jokes - which is good - I have found telling school children Senior Citizens get on the bus first once or twice has worked - they stand back for me now. We need to be assertive and to do that we need to use our voice sometimes.

On public transport - though many years of using it - I have found often people enjoy the chat - about travel - the weather - whatever happens - 

After losing a few people I thought were good friends - and having no relationship at all with my siblings - I take conversation when I can get it - 

And I must say that a wet gloomy weekend was hard to take - I watched a stack of movies and rejoiced when it was Monday morning again.

Such is life

All the best

Owlunar

[Owlunar]

Hi @EternalFlower 

Yes - this is a "truth bubble" - I like that expression - I might use it myself sometimes in the future.

I do have people in and out of my life - I have been lucky like that - as I wrote above - I have had long term - what seemed to be good friendships - which fell apart - and that hurt a lot - so casual chats here and there - and support workers sometimes - that works for me. 

For years I was so busy with family, work, university and church activities I wonder now how I had time to breathe - it was good though - I enjoyed driving and when I could I would take off for long drives with my kids - and after they went their different ways I drove alone - wherever I felt like it - and stayed in motels overnight only to continue to drive - what a life - it was great.

Now - retired - I like my own space too - I hear you though - you are depressed - too far down to go out and get your medication for pain. Would your pharmacy bring some to your home? Maybe not if you don't know them. I chat with my pharmacist too - maybe I'm just a chatter box.

But I digress - you are in pain and alone and I know that uncomfortable state of affairs. I don't feel depressed - it was a bleak weekend here in Melbourne and I did not feel happy. So - I understand.

Someone recently told me that it was okay to be not-okay - I didn't think so - I am old school I guess - and still - if I am not happy I don't like to be told to cheer up - so I never say that. 

So - I feel for you - if you were somewhere handy I would sit with you and maybe watch a movie that would make us both cry. Tears are healing - they release a hormone that builds up when we are stressed,

I never tell people to have a good day - they might be feeling miserable and I can let them be honest with themselves without intruding.

I am thinking of you though

Owlunar

[Zoe7]

Hey @Owlunar @EternalFlower @Appleblossom @Oaktree For me a friend is someone you can rely on and have the hard conversations with without judgement (and vice versa) - so in that respect ...you are all friends 💖

[Shaz51]

 so in that respect ...you are all my  friends , same here @EternalFlower , @Appleblossom , @Owlunar , @Zoe7 , @Eve7 , @Oaktree 

it did make me think of the different ages and stages in my life and the different friendships that i have had 

now I dont have any friends except for my forum family @tyme 

[tyme]

I sort of agree. @Shaz51 . I don't have 'friends' per se.... but I have my forums family. 

And I think it's how you look at it. For me, I quite happy not to have 'friends' out there. But I know some people really want to have friends. 

So it's good to reflect on where you currently are and what you want for yourself in the future.

[Eve7]

You’re my friend too @Shaz51  I love my forum family.

💙🩵💙