Life can be a Pain

[Sophia1]

good @Zoe7

I needed a giggle myself.....

6 words

[Zoe7]

hahaha @Sophia1 goodnight Hon 

[Sophia1]

goodnight all

[Appleblossom]

Goodnight @Zoe7

Ha ha @Sophia1 SOmetimes it is good to test if we can do something a bit differently to usual, but there is no need to change your basic style.  I wish I could think of something to help in your situation, but that you are determined to stick with him and be loyal, must eventually get through to him.

[Sophia1]

oh no technology definitely not my friend ...zero interest...

telstra well that is a minefield...years ago had a dispute that I took to the ombudsman...

did you know that telstra and optus have their own ombudsmen...an indication of how many disputes they do not resolve..

yes I think going to talk to real people @Owlunar armed with copies of emails is the best move...

I do hope that they sort it quickly for you though...sometimes these places have very smart young people working there who can just about rebuild the mobile on the spot...my "family member" is like that...very good with electronics..

shell shocked I can well imagine...your mind's way of self protection...a huge emotional period for you...reminding you to slow down and not take too much on....

have you any interesting art or history books that you can browse through...distract yourself from dreaded communication issues when you get home...

or perhaps find a cosy little tea shop and treat yourself before you go home...

you know your limits and capabilities at the moment and I am sure that you can trust your intuition...

whatever you decide ...be gentle with yourself...

take care dec

[Sophia1]

@Appleblossom  possibly triggering for some

Reading my words and respecting my thoughts ....you are already doing something for me...

every person who presses like...responds....expresses concerns is helping me tremendously...living in the now

I came to these forums to talk about my "family member" ...at that time I conversed and exchanged responses with others who had their family members living with them...offering my support to them and having an ongoing connection was a help at the time..on the carer side...

there was a period where I felt that I was not welcome and did not fit there...that my situation was dismissed and of minimal concern....comparisons made to show that my situation paled in significance...

so I learnt to avoid certain people...no different to life really...we all experience personality clashes with others ...

due to my "family member" following their rights and requesting all information from the "freedom of information office" of every organisation  encountered...I realised that I needed to respect the person's privacy... safety...ultimately that ..of all of my family also...

so my  support ...my identity suddenly changed...I had to reinvent myself over in the lived experience side...I have found connection ongoing with some beautiful people who knew me previously as well as those who have forgotten who I am...

I have connected with my "family member" in the most beautiful way that I would ever imagine....I have been able to break through the delusional thoughts on a few occasions and reach my real "family member" I know this as I have been contacted each time I have been in hospital by my "family member''...my person having no idea that I was there...

so I do have a deep spiritual connection...the empirical umbilical cord....

Now the state of mind of that person has reached a deeper intensity....deeper fear of persecution for self and family....  I have spent hours listening to an icy tone voice....wanting to reassure my "family member" that I am still and will always be understanding and loving...

horrific text messages directing me to different sites of human torture sent repeatedly....mounting up now...I cannot cope with this....so I utilise different resources for help..

I am researching different organisations again...currently have contact with a specific organisation that I wont mention...a lady there is following up on some leads for me...

Your voicing that you would like to help me does mean a lot to me @Appleblossom..helps me feel less alone on these forums in my grief...I have not yet encountered another on here with the same experience...even though I know that they are out there..

thank you

I just want to say also that I am not looking for sympathy....I do not measure my grief against others....I am just taking the opportunity to express it in words...as Life can be a Pain...

I hope that I have not overburdened or upset anyone.

I do hope that you situation continues to improve....

[Appleblossom]

@Sophia1

Your profile pic with mamma and young elephant tells of your longing.  Your family member sounds locked in the grip of paranoia and self protection is more important atm than taking on his acting out.

I lived with a man who had Sz diagnosis and also computer programmer.  For years I listened to all the paranoid talk but quietly tried to do things that countered the negative affect and kept our family somewhat functional.  He was my husband of 16 years.

Spousal relationships are different to parental ones, and the serious attachment to technology is a truly modern predicament. 

I will just keep relating around the issues. It is good for me and maybe good for you. Last night I chatted with a brilliant young physicist.  We talked about the different cultures in science and music.  He admitted to not being good at social stuff. I have known him for about 5 years now. At first he needed constant affirmation of his specialness and brilliance, but he now has the maturity to admit a lack.  

I see it is partly a problem originating in education system with too much emphasis on academic results, expertise in limited fields, and not enough inclusive and cultural programs.  Though the individual has to take some responsibility for their choices.  

I managed to squeeze some music into my son's life. He lived with his dad, felt the emptiness of excess computer use and chose music and now he has both interests.

I also suffer from alienation fom my daughter, but read in someone's post about the Parental Alienation Syndrome. So I did more research and though this issue was championed by divorced fathers, it fits my biological daughter's behaviour to a T.  

I am glad you found ways to feel a respected part of the forum. 

 

It took a while for me to want to use technology at all and I stayed off it for 10 years.  Eventually I accepted that it is part of the world, bought a laptop and ended up here.

I see this forum as a way to make cyberspace more human.

[Owlunar]

Hi @Sophia1

I am okay - still feeling a little flat - antibiotics are necessary at times and I find they do drag me down and it is hard to get organised at times but I will deal with that Telstra confusion next week - I thought of going today but Fridays are usually very busy days for me and the cold weather is causing my back pain to be worse than usual so yes - time to take it easy and let myself recover

I have a lot of interests - history is fascinating - I am really interested in so many subjects - the Royal Family history, war history, science, geology, astronomy - I could go on and I don't just watch a movie - I devour it.

At the moment I am reading Lord of the Rings - I read the trilogy many years ago when I was at University and I recently watched all the movies and the special effects discs as well and I was surprised when I mentioned this to people and they weren't that excited but I am

So all these years since I hurt my back I have always had plenty of interesting data to look up on-line and I love it

So now I am interested in your interests too - for me there is always something else to learn

I am caring for myself - thanks Sophia - I do have council help here though at times that can be really intrusive - I do need it - and I enjoy cooking for myself though it can be a challenge cooking for one - I will be glad when I have finished the antibiotics

Thanks for your post - I really did appreciate it

Dec

[Sophia1]

You are more than welcome @Owlunar

I just did what I usually do.,..wrote an epic dialogue...then deleted...I shall write on the worry room if I feel safe enough to do so...at least I wrote it ...that is one thing...

Reading is wonderful....I have library books that are overdue...can't leave the house at the moment..

I read The Lord of the Rings trilogy years ago....I have watched all of the films also...I always enjoy the books more...I think that I can lose myself more in the books...tap into my imagination...creativity...

I too love cooking...creatively...never to cook the same again laugh....it is more difficult cooking for one...I remember those times...some things you can freeze...some you can eat the next day...my rule is third day throw out...much to my husband's horror...

I get your feeling of liking the help at the same time having your space invaded....

one thing that I am starting to accept is that life is forever changing...some of it we just have to go along with even when we don't like it....then magically the moments pass...until the next time...

you are doing really well...don't mean that to sound shallow...I have come to know you as a very strong lady...

now I know that you are tall as well...

[Former-Member]

Hi @Owlunar, just wondering how you are? You seem quiet. I overdid it yesterday & my back 😞  Makes me think of you and how on earth you manage so well. Guess ya have to. Hurt my neck last Friday, saw Dr today ad still getting headaches. She's referred me to a rheumatologist & ordered more bloods. Physical on top of emotional pain is so hard. 

I don't know - have I told you I have a buyer for my house? Don't know how I'm gonna do it, empty there while committed here, accept putting dad into residential respite which he doesn't want.  And my body - the work... Well, I'll talk more on this on thethe SPRING CLEAN  DECLUTTER Thread maybe, I donno. 

Hope that toe has healed.

Catch u next time xox