Life can be a Pain

[Owlunar]

Hi @Appleblossom

I do think it's possible my son had some features of Foetal Alcohol Sydrome or Foetal Alcohol Systemic Disorder - I think it is like a Spectrum Disorder and really hard to tell but he was developing alcoholic tendencies very early - thanks for asking - I have not thought about it for a long time now but he did have signs of artheroma in his cardiace arteries and aorta - 

One thing I do know is that the passage of time does ease some details of past disasters - I was talking to someone one day and the subject of juvenile heart disorders came up - I remembered that my son had one but I couldn't remember at the time but I did recall it later

I didn't know my son was of an indigneous background until after he died. I was investigating the issue and went to my local member at the time and I was told that a lot of people want to claim indigneous status when they don't really have any - whatever that mean - but when I showed him photos he stopped doubting me and started the ball rolling about finding out some truth - it took me 8.5 years to find his birth mother.

Here's the thing though - had I known what I felt was the truth things might have been different - and it doesn't matter in the least what my family or anyone else thought or felt - it was all about what he thought and felt and I loved him regardless

It was a price I chose to pay and still feel as if I am paying it and it is still my choice - if he had been in contact with other indigenous children and been involved with their activies things might have been different - all these years have made some difference but not enough - not enough

Dec

[Appleblossom]

Thank you for sharing about him.  @Owlunar  It would have made it extra difficult and tragic for him and you.

Its good that you have more perspective on it.

I am looking at a youtube on Aspergers.  My son is out a rehearsal.

[Owlunar]

Hi @Zoe7

The hydrotherapy sounds great - I have tried it but the therapist was a pain herself and it was not a positive experience which is a pity so that moment in my life passed - I feel sorry about that - I used to swim a lot

I am sure you know you have to protect the clot in the cavity where your tooth was and that will settle in a few day - the pain might take longer but it all depend on whatever the circumstances are - it was great you didn't have to have dental surgery - that really tips the cart - I have had a couple of those - not with a wisdom tooth though - my twelve-year old molars where the fun teeth to have out - egad!!!!

I am going to have a look at my toenail - one moment please

Ooh - no comment - I am glad I am taking antibiotics

My tummy seems to have settled but I haven't eaten much today - the tablets I got from the pharmacist helped and I had to walk up there and back twice today so I got some walking in - and the wind was blowing a gale with brilliant blue-skies though I knew a change was coming

And it came - what a storm!! - The wind did blow and the rain fell and there was thunder and lightning and my cat couldn't get into the other front room because I shut that one off in winter - and she wanted to hide under my grandmother's cedar chest but no - she ran around looking for a hidey-hole and disappeared - she has always been scared of storms and I rather like them - I get excited though I know you don't feel the same way and down on the tip of the country - I understand that - it's different when the wind and snow are blizzard force - it is ever.

I think I will recover quickly - I usually do - my toe might take longer but the strength of the love and support of the community here has been wonderful - I have opened up more this year - it takes time but I am learning this is peer support and we all have our stuff and it's very safe here

Thanks Zoe

Dec

[Owlunar]

Hi @Sophia1

I am keeping away from the Worry Room - thanks for the warning - I might go there one day but at this stage - I have enough worries atm - but I hope you are okay after unloading

I am sorry you are battling though - whatever we have on own plate - it is our own and the one we have to deal with

There was an older lady at the clinic when I was there leaning on my crutches - she got under my skin telling me everyone had sore knees - ouch - that hurt more than my knee - I managed to refrain from snapping but I told her that my knee was the one I had to look after and this is true

Our stuff is our stuff and it doesn't help to compare what we have - it's all a bother to us and we don't need any Job's Comforters

So yes - today I might have had an emotional back lash - the loss is still there but as the years pass it is easier - I have a place to share and I have started my third year as a member here now and each anniversary has been easier - 

We have had strong winds here today - and a storm with gales, rain, thunder and lightning - I feel better in winter when the wind blows - smog builds up in this city when the weather in early winter is cold and still and everyone feels it - but I get it that some people don't like storms either - I just do

My cat doesn't - it was lovely and sunny on my bed before the wind changed - 

All the best Sophia - take things as easy as possible and find some comfort food - maybe share some with me

Dec

[Zoe7]

I wish I had my own pool @Owlunar but the problem would be I would never be out of it lol

I do love the water and the pool I go to is at a constant 33 degrees so it is just like being in a warm bath.

Yes the dentist did warn me about clotting in the cavity and what to do if that came out - the antibiotics are to stop any further infection as well as to knock any that I already had on it's head. I am hoping tonight will be the last night I will need the painkillers but haven't really eaten anything yet that I have had to chew too much so tomorrow I will try some steamed veggies and see how that goes.

The wind has stopped here tonight which is a good thing because the wind, the night, pain and my fears all combined could have made it for a very interesting night 

I can see you from here looking in all the hidey holes for companion cat - I am lucky that Cat doesn't worry too much about storms - she just finds her favourite place, curls up and sleeps. Toby gets a little jumpy (and barky) when there are loud noises that he doesn't know but is ok with thunder and lightning - unless it is really close and then he will bark at the noise.

Do you have any plans for tomorrow? I have DBT.

[Former-Member]

((((( hugzz ))))) (((((@Dec )))))

[Sophia1]

Hello @Owlunar

Thank you for your reply...

We had a very blustery day with heavy rain yesterday...today the sun is out ...the gums are swaying more as I write...

Hydrotherapy again this afternoon...Have been doing this for over 3 months now....being in water is so healing for me...

I have met many different characters in there...

most with their own issues...

yes some do tend to talk in depth about their aches and pains not considering that others want to have a distraction...time away from focussing on pain...

that is how the world is though...those who talk about themselves and their situation ....fewer who listen...

there are some very sad stories that I have heard though..

mental illness aside...I find that I am hearing tales of perseverance and suffering...as I am in a standing position doing some of my exercise...

one lady follows me around the pool...she is in her eighties..slightly eccentric I feel...very intelligent and well travelled...talks mostly non stop and shrieks loudly... I get to see her twice a week..sometimes I do not have the energy and can feel the tension....

hoping that you along with others can find something that lets you smile...laugh...

take care

Sophia 

[Former-Member]

Hi @Owlunar, and company...  Shaz,  Apple,  Sophia...  ... ... How's your day goimg?   I feel rested after sitting in the sun enjoying a cheese tomatoe sandwich & cup of tea.  Dr wants dad to get more sun so the front veranda is perfect.  

[Appleblossom]

Hi @Owlunar @Sophia1 @Zoe7 and @Former-Member 

Had a contest mention today.  A court support person ended up being interested in our story and was shocked and upset that the system had let us down. She said they were all trained in therapuetic jurisprudence and these days mental illness should be treated properly, but realised we were telling the truth.  Anyway things are not getting worse.  

[Sophia1]

hello @Former-Member @Appleblossom @Owlunar

I am back from the pool...waterlogged...late lunch...listening to a young lad on youtube...what a voice...

@Former-Member sitting on a porch lapping up the sun sounds divine...better than any tablet....

not that I am suggesting anyone stops their medications....purely hypothetical...

I hope that you get to share some interesting storytelling with your dad at such special times....

you are one incredible lady...

@Appleblossom  I don't know much about your story re your son....sounds as though you received some well earned recognition not previously shown....I hope that moving forward life settles and becomes easier for both your son and yourself....

@Owlunar I hope that your computer is not still misbehaving and that you are taking time to self nurture....I have been lying low so to speak so not sure where your story is at....wishing you some warm moments of sunshine also...

take care all....