Life can be a Pain

[Owlunar]

@Former-Member@Appleblossom@Shaz51@utopia@Faith-and-Hope@outlander@Zoe7

Late in the afternoon when I saw my doctor he had received a letter from my ex-psychologist saying she thoughts I could benefit from on-going psychotherapy but I had chosen to discontinue - it had been written on the day of the session I could not attend because I had severe back pain and was charged $55.00 (not paying that) and it entirely misrepresented me

Wow - apparently I am severely depressed with severe anxiety and I have never recovered from son's death and have had many psychiatric hospital addmissions - sheesh - my doctor knows me and says I am okay but I feel really unsettled and I could do without that

I feel like yelling "Enough - Enough - Enough" but I know what she wrote is a distortion of the truth - I am not depressed - I am allowed to be unhappy and I haven't been inside a psyche hospital for over 30 years and this was the pits to read - I feel as if this was a form letter with blank spaces to fill in her own words and it doesn't work out at all

If I am "severely depressed" I can't imagine what some people feel like - I read what depressed people feel like and I don't feel like that at all - it seems as if the past has been dredged up and thown out as correct info and I am upset and why not? My need to ring Life Line was thrown in there as well.

It's not my thing to write like this - I did ring Life Line and had the person on the line agree that ringing them is part of self-care - and that's what they are there for

I will get over it - I am glad I can vent here - I feel misread and this is a whole shambles. I am not in a hurry to see someone else but my doctor has given me a referral - I will think about this

Ever felt as if you have been kicked when you are down? Of course you have - not a good feeling - I still have a lot of things on my mind - my daughter feels a lot better but I don't know about my relatives in Tassie - I have tried to write a couple of times but the words won't come together - maybe I should use my Word Pad rather than hand-write - 

I will be okay - I will always be okay - but on an unhappy-right-now scale - I don't do well right now

Thanks peeps

Dec

[utopia]

Oh @Owlunar. So sorry to hear about this. No wonder you feel frustrated and undermined. There us nothing worse than when a 'so called' expert - writes about us and screws all the information around and diagnoses you incorrectly as well. It does make you second guess yourself. That is such a very cruel thing they did.
I have experienced this myself early last year. The WorkCover psychiatrist I had to see, wrote an awful report about me. Claiming I was bi polar 2 & recommend I commence 'immediately' on a particular medication. I started doubting myself. I knew I suffered from depression and didn't believe I was bi polar - but I did second guess myself. I even checked with my psychologist. Who advised me I definitely wasn't bi polar. But this dangerous psychiatrists report is now in my WorkCover file and I haven't been successful in having it removed. Just remembering it, causes anxiety.
So stay strong. Know that you know yourself better than anyone. This so called professional doesn't know you at all. We know this by her getting your lifes story so twisted.
Try and take a deep breath and let all that anger and disappointment out. Don't let her mess with your mind.
Big supportive hugs to you. ♡♡♡♡♡

[Owlunar]

Thanks @utopia

I will not let this mess with my head but yeah - I feel rather p^^d-off and I allowed to be and it will wear off

Perhaps we can allow ourselves to feel what we feel knowing it will wear off is a part of healing - mmm yeah!

That stuff about bi-polar - being disdiagnosed for work-cover - that is so bad - I was misdiagnosed with the same thing and I was not and took medication that took the world away for years - I was helped to quarter-down with a psychologist - the one who died - and as I was each week taking less and less of this medication the world came back and it was really good that it happened

But in your case - it was worse because of being on work-cover - I remember bits of your story and it seems you  have been stuffed around quite a lot with all of this  and none of it your fault either and you are right

that is cruel

And it causes anxiety and

It won't go away

It's on your record

I supposed that's what's going through my head - I refused to pay that account and it seems this is already going to be used against me but hey - yeah - I can afford to pay my own solicitor about this but it will be what it will and it is likely to be interesting

And I will have to think hard about seeing someone else - the psychologist I saw after my son died died himself - and he was so good about seeing me whenever I needed to - which was a lot at first but tapered off over time - 

So yes - I will let it out - worse things have happened

Also - I remembered what you wrote about my searching for 10 years for my son's birth-mother - amazing to remember - it was so hard then - I didn't spend every minute of every day on but rather something I would rest about then get back to it and suddenly - she was looking for me!

I had brief contact with her through a third person - I thought about whether I wanted to know her but we had a child in common and I had done my best - though I wrote to her and sent her photographs I never did anything else except have my son including in the Aboriginal Stats - and that was what I needed to do - I have never stopped thinking about her though - which is something she doesn't know about

Thanks for being there Utopia - I will be okay but it will sting for a bit

Dec

[Shaz51]

ohhhh @Owlunar, sitting with you and sending you lots of hugs my friend

[Former-Member]

Oh @Owlunar, that's horrible, sounds like a sociopath not a psychologist. Gotta justify their existence (high fees) somehow. I never see you as those thongs, good grief - what would she say about me LOL. Never mind, probably a good thing you're moving on . I'm a bit high on analgesia, to get through the night with this backpain flare up - taking dad out in the wheelchair for his birthday. Hope i can walk in the morning lol

[Owlunar]

Hi @Former-Memberand @Shaz51

Thanks so much - I watched something I recorded on TV earlier and ate my dinner and feel a bit better but really tired - it has been too much lately and I certainly did not need anyone to write distortions of my truth

I really opened up to her - and I will be less inclined to do that in the future - and that registered letter took a long time to get to her - not good that - registered mail is not what it should be time-wise but safer than express 

Grouch

Yes @Former-Member - definitely sadistic person there - a sadistic psychologist - we give them the ammo in good faith - zapp!!!

I feel I need to mentioned to you not to drive if you are taking that stronger analgesia - it would be better if your Dad could pay for the taxi - taking him out for his birthday sounds really pleasant. What have you got in mind?

Dec

[Zoe7]

I think the report from the psychologist is yet another reason why you made the right decision not to return @Owlunar  You are allowed to be unhappy and with the pain you have been in it is no wonder you feel that way! 

So glad you have vented about all this Dec - sometimes we just need to get things out and know that what we are feeling is validated.

Hugs 

[Former-Member]

Hi @Zoe7 ❤

[Zoe7]

Hi @Former-Member  How are you travelling?

[Faith-and-Hope]

Sounds super-sucky @Owlunar ..... 😡 ..... having been misrepresented in my own situation, O really feel for you.

I have a great psychologist.  

He mistook me for a highly anxious personality at our first meeting, and sent me home with a reference book to read ..... but when I went through it, it clearly wasn’t me ..... so I took it back and told him so ..... and then took four months to tell him about our circumstances, asking as I went along, who wouldn’t be highly anxious under these circumstances .... personality types aside ?!

I know you have been “once burned” ..... but hopefully you can get over the “twice shy” and try again when you’re ready, hopefully scoring a psych who is a good match for you, and can offer an appropriate report that overwrites this dud one.

Hugs ❤️