Life can be a Pain

[Adge]

When you say that it really hurt, I bet it did @Owlunar

I'm apparently very pain tolerant too - but the bowel pain I felt, both before & after my surgeries was excruciating.

It doubled me over with pain, I could barely stand up.

So I can see what you mean.

I hope that it improves soon for you.

Adge

[Owlunar]

Hi @Adge@utopia@Shaz51@Faith-and-Hope@outlander@Former-Member

My session with my therapist was really intense

The other two therapists I saw recently seemed to give me the idea that I was far to mature to think on what my mother had done to me and my siblings - I went along with it because what they said seemed valid and I am mature

But there was a lot under there - this therapist is giving me space and time to look more deeply and the memories and images are like using a kaleidescope and the images are shifting together and apart in my mind and the memories are becoming more clear

I am amazed I have lived through all of that and seem to have be okay - my life has been different but it has been successful - so much has happened in my lifetime and not all of it bad - just some of it

Curious - my memories have always been there but there were questions I never asked and was never asked - I'm not angry but I know I was betrayed by people I thought cared for me - and I believe they loved me, 

I forgave all of that a long time ago - but it left scars that are pretty vivid - but they are just scars

I'm sure it will be okay going through this

The injection - ah - that hurt and it was painful earlier this evening but evenings are always easier. I hope it gets better fast - I have had it long enough and the doctor who did this said it would take two weeks

No way - I heal fast and I am organising my trip to Hobart at the end of the month

I had ants in my bed again today - I had ant bites on my arm this morning and this afternoon when I got back from my therapist I stretch out on the bed and ANTS - I hate them - I have been at their nests again and they are after me - I have no idea what they are after and I think this is WAR ON ANTS

Not really but I will win

Dec

[Faith-and-Hope]

I am sure you will win @Owlunar .....

If the dr said two weeks for your hip after the injection, but you are headed to Hobart within that time, maybe make use of airport and hotel wheelchairs a bit ? Just a thought for taking strain off your hip as it adjusts to the medication .

[Owlunar]

Hi @Faith-and-Hope

That is a really good idea but I am no where near a wheel chair yet - though if I am still umcomfortable I might order crutches if they won't let me take them on the plane - I own a pair I manage really well

Also - I travel business class - it makes travelling with a bad back much easier - even if I have to pay to make travelling easier I pay it - it's worth it

This morning my hip feels better after yesterday - oh - what a day

I have a headache today - and I am seeing my doctor which is good - I have had a really interesting and testing series of events even in this week and I wonder why life cannot be easier - but I never feel like telling everything - it all feels too much

But this stuff about my sister - I had a long session of meditation and prayer this morning and my mind did not want to stay on the subject - my life was going elsewhere away from home and I really didn't think about my sister's life at the time but oi!! - the lights went on eventually and it horrified me - nothing physically or violent or even something anyone can think of easily but subtle and horrid - mind control - I can hardly wait to get back to my therapist about this one

No one needs to send me off on a search without expecting me to find something - I will find something - which will lead to something else and fall short of turning lead into gold but definitely something to set my mind and soul free - what when on was nothing to do with me - it was something else entirely - tell my therapist and write it out of my story - except yes - I can understand my sister better but things have gone on too long and she is not going to want to know cause she knows she's perfect and she - no one is - perfect - but I can let her think she is

I will take any prayers about seeing my rellies - it is some important and so complex - and I don't know if I can even get to see them - all I can do is hard this over and do my best - we can't do any more than that

btw - I am not leaving until the end of February - I will be over it by then - and I am anti-wheelchairs - until the time comes - 

Dec

[Faith-and-Hope]

Once my D3’s dislocates knees had healed @Owlunar, but would become sore with extensive walking, we put her in a wheelchair for the airports just for the convenience of it and ability to rest on the move. Same when travelling with older but fully able rellies ..... it was just more practical and restful that way.

[Owlunar]

Thanks @Faith-and-Hope

I appreciate that and for some people that's a good idea

But I am used to travelling alone and will change my plans if things don't settle down - but being alone a wheel chair won't happen - but the crutches are my old mates - and they both have the same name because I can't tell them apart.

Still they need to rubber stops on the bottoms - so thanks for reminding me

However - travelling business classs is a whole other deal - no waiting in queues - people rush to help you with your baggage and lift it for you - walking gently to the lounge for a free brekkie and rest and read free magazines in a lounge until it's time for the flight - first on the plane and while waiting - complimentary drinks and food and no fuss - no bother. First out of the plane - luggage comes out first - then of course I am on my own but then - I have a taxi card and take the easy way all the way

Please don't worry about me - I have learned to take care of myself because if I did not go alone I would never go anywhere - and while I am away I am not planning much - maybe I will take a cruise on the estuary or a bus up the mountain but mostly I want to see my relatives though I get it if I cannot

Dec

[Faith-and-Hope]

I like your style @Owlunar ...... ❣️

Have a great time, no matter what you end up doing ..... and I am sure you will because you will be determined to .....

[Shaz51]

hugs @Owlunar 

[Owlunar]

Hi @Shaz51@Faith-and-Hope@Adge@utopia@outlander@Former-Member

I can hardly believe it - the night before last I went to bed at 11.00 pm and slept 9 hours straight - it's the best night's sleep I have had since my knee surgery - and I woke up feeling like a new person

That was wonderful

Yesterday was busy - I booked my trip to Hobart first thing then I was busy all day and went down to Flight Centre to pay for it - yes - I am going business class Faith - I know it would be impossible for even two people let alone a family - and I am glad you like my style

Because I am staying at a hotel with views - and I have been to Tassie a lot through my life and know there is plenty to do - I hope to see my relatives - my main reason for this trip

This is so exciting.

And my hip isn't hurting and my knee is still stiff but I am walking well - and the weather is fabulous and my next thing is to buy some new clothes - because of my bad knee I haven't done any shopping since las winter

Ants - I have to keep on top of those little critturs - they are still walking up the wall outside my bedroom window but they are going somewhere else - it's very sandy soil here and the ants love it here so the idea is to destroy their nests as soon as I find them  - I think I am winning

Working with my therapist seems to be working well - this is certainly worth doing  - I have such a different aspect into my sister's life I am sure it will do me as much good as I can get from it but this is for me - not her - I doubt she would listen to me let alone believe me - but yes - let sleeping dogs lie - why does she have to know what I have worked out her life when she was young - 

Actually it feels like a pretty good day today 

I hope the rest of you are lucky enough to have a really pleasant day here and there - and if you do - I hope you can make it last

Dec

[Shaz51]

If I see ants here in my kitchen @Owlunar, it means rain , a lot of rain coming

 slept 9 hours straight - it's the best night's sleep I have had -- wow @Owlunar , how lovely , it would be nice all the time xxxx