Life can be a Pain

[Appleblossom]

@Decadian Thinking of you

[Owlunar]

Hi @Appleblossom@utopia@Faith-and-Hope@Former-Member@outlander@Shaz51@Sophia1@Zoe7

Thanks so much for all your wonderful messages  - it does feel so much better to have them - I feel less alone having read them - even though I have to leave to see my doctor in a few minutes

I will not be rushing over to Hobart - as much as I wish I could - to care for other people I have to care for myself first and it is taking me a bit of self-care to get by right now - and yes - I am torn with my need to be here for my daughter and also wanting to be in Hobart for my very special relatives

So the other news - I have spoken to my daughter on the phone and been firm with her - it's bad pain and she needs to have the surgery - she would not enjoy having am ruptured ovarian cyst which is a medical emergency - I have had one of those myself and that was not fun at all - so she is talking it over with her husband and I hope she will at least make an appointment,

I told her I love her and that this has gone on long enough - I think she took me seriously - sometimes I have had to pull the loving-firm-mother act - don't we all - I told her I know how stoical she is.

And - I have to rush off but I have sent a registered letter to my ex-psychologist and the cancellation fee and told her the circumstances and told her I would not be attending the clinic again nor paying the fee - I am glad that has been attended to - it took ages to get there but that is one less thing

I really wish I could go to Hobart but not yet - I could really use a therapist right now but not that one - I don't think they care enough

Back later - gotta see the doctor

And thanks for your love and prayers - I think they are working

Dec

[Shaz51]

see you soon my friend @Owlunar 

 you said that you are  torn with my need to be here for my daughter and also wanting to be in Hobart for my very special relatives

I am sure you special relatives totally understand the you need to be there for your daughter , by talking to your relatives and sending them your love

sending you knowing hugs my friend @Owlunar 

[outlander]

Im glad you were able to talk to your daughter. I hope she does take on board your advicr @Owlunar

If only we could clone ourselves hey so we can be everywhere we want to be. I agree with shaz im hoping your relatives understand why you cant be there right now.

Good luck at the drs today ❤

[utopia]

Well done for being a bit firm with your daughter regarding her health @Owlunar. Sometimes we need someone to speak the honest truth to us. And she knows you love her and don't want her to suffer anymore.
Glad you also got that letter sent off to the psychologist. That needed to be done.
I know you don't have a counselor now to talk to. But maybe you could contact LifeLine or similar and talk about it all to them. That may help relieve some of the sting of your pain (if you know what I mean).
Keep us all informed. Here for you always. Hugs. ♡♥♡

[Sophia1]

@Decadian

Ditto to what everyone else has said......

So pleased to hear that you are putting you first...assertion sorted...

good that she is listening to you...

 Everyone will know how much you care...just having the contact is enough sometimes...I didn't want visitors when I was in hospital...

take care ....it helps knowing that people on here are thinking of you xx:💚

[Owlunar]

Hi again @Sophia1@utopia@outlander@Shaz51@Former-Member@Zoe7@Faith-and-Hope@Appleblossom@Adge

The pics people have been sending are lovely too - as are the messages - and also it is wonderful that people have been following my story - I have many friends - I can see that - and it is a good thing to know

I went to sleep watching TV - slept too long - but I ate home made meat patties and steamed veggies for my dinner followed with icrecream and cherries and a glass of ovaltine - I am feeling okay tonight though it is past midnight - one great thing about this forum is that we can leave messages whenever we are able and people can read them when they are able.

For several days I have felt uneasy - I think we can sometimes pick up that things are not going well with people we love - I havent told my special relatives about my daughter nor have I told her about them recently - I kept thinking to email my Tassie members but felt they didn't need bad news - and my daughter needs my attention right now

I am glad I was firm with her and let her know I needed to talk - I was pretty blunt and asked her where her pain was on the 1 - 19 scale - interesting - the number she gave me told me something but her voice told me a lot more - I hope she does something about this - it has been dragging on for 3 weeks now and it must be depressing to wake up every morning with the same pain going on and on - I can use my own experience with pain to know that can be the pits

aw................there are things I would rather not know - 

Regardless - I know I am not going to Hobart right now - there is nothing I could do right now anyway - but there is someone I could email - a minister I have known for a long time - someone I have not been in touch with for years - but he might be able to give me some insight into other things that are a huge problem right now - and also try and ring my other uncle who tends to be reclusive - as I am at times - a family trait perhaps but I respect it - I am wondering if my cousin in Canada knows how his parents are right now and I think I can get to him on messenger - we compete in games so it's not unreasonable to mention it to him - and my other cousin in Melbourne I am close too

I do have some close family - though I work to keep it that way - I have a couple of members I am not interested in contacting - eg my toxic sister - we keep ourselves safe from vexatious spirits

But yes - I am glad I have sent that letter by registered mail - it indicates I am very serious and not prepared to be ignored - it says "don't dismiss me" and I will not be dismissed - I will not pay the darn account either - but let's see what happened

I rang Life LIne today - eased off with some crying but the person I was speaking to seemed concered I was suicidal and I had trouble convincing him I was not and could not be that way - it wasted some of the time in the call talking abuot that when I do not feel that way at all - I know they have to ask but I wonder if I seemed to that person to be in a worse place than I am because I was crying

Seeing my doctor was really good - he listened to me and then took a horrible little lession off my leg with dry ice - 

It seems I have done what I can attend to yesterday - Monday - and one-by-one get in touch with other people

And yes Lapses - it is a good thing to have faith - I found some wonderful prayers in the back of the red prayer book - I knew they were there somewhere and I found them - and the are appropriate - my prayers tend to be frequent and original but reading these prayers felt different - as if other people were praying the same prayers - of course they do - and for different people in different circumstances - we come together in our Christian Community

Thanks so much my dear friends - 

Dec

[Owlunar]

Hi @Sophia1@utopia@outlander@Shaz51@Zoe7@Faith-and-Hope

Good news - I had a phone conversation with my daughter on her way back from an appointment with her surgeon and she is having her ovary removed on Monday and this is a profound relief - from her voice it is for her as well - 

Of course I would rather all of this is not happening but it is - and I pray that it will work out and she will be much better this time next week - she has been battling with this for weeks now

There is nothing I can do for my special relatives right now except to pray - I have to let go of that except when I pray for now and build my own health up - it has taken a battering lately - it felt as if I was dumped in the surf - not a good feeling at all

So this is Anzac Day - a day I really believe in - the Commemoration of our War Dead and those who have returned damaged in body, soul and mind - 

Today I have to myself to help myself recover - I slept for a long time yesterday and then last night - and this has to be a good start - 

Thanks for being there everyone - it is wonderful to have support during difficult times

Dec

[Sophia1]

So pleased to hear daughter's news....huge relief for you....allow yourself to feel proud yet again as her mum @Owlunar. 

Something that I have not done for myself ...started only recently....part of my new journey..

surgery is never welcome at first..then we have to look past that day and prepare for recovery..

as my husband keeps on reminding me...fortuitous that found...now focus on getting better...bless him..

so hard to put ourselves first ahead of loved ones....I can rabbit on to others ...now I stop and check..what about me...

agree about Anzac Day...have been to several services over the years....will have to wait a couple of years now..

I am also reminded on these days of world war 11 and world war 1....along with all of the endless fighting over religion...power...control..

when I was in rehab hospital I passed a man several times...he had a smile so I returned the smile..he was also having hydrotherapy...I chatted away to several people including him....I realises that he was a Vietnam vet...briefly touched on the subject...he referred to it as his crazy world....he talked about how wonderful his wife was and how he owed so much to her with glassy eyes....I said that I am sure that she knows and you have contributed in your own way...continued on exercising and laughing as we did some sessions..

Your Much needed sleep after hearing from your girl...

you are ding everything that you can and thinking of you too....new beginnings for you..

take care 

💚💤

[outlander]

good news about your daughter, though im sorry it had to come to that @Owlunar time to rest for you

short on words so will leave these here for you