Life can be a Pain

[Shaz51]

hello @Owlunar 

mr shaz also has a infected ingrown toenail too , he has been having dizzy spells , so will have to make another appt

still waiting for my blood specialist appt and mr shaz needs some sun cancer cut out

we had a big storm this afternoon , it was soo hot this morning

got a ache in the kidney area today so having some R& R today xxxxx

[Faith-and-Hope]

Thanks @Owlunar 💕

[Owlunar]

Hi @Adge

I understand - I remember a lot from my childhood - maybe it would be better if I didn't but actually I think that my repressed memories - memories we have no idea we have - are really bad and do crimp your life 

Perhaps because I only had one person giving me a hard time I was better at surviving having those memories and what caused them - it was a dark time for me and my bro - and I have an old sepia-toned photo of an angry little girl staring at the camera and I remember that photo being taken and I was telling myself "Remember this. Remember this." for at whatever age - maybe three - I had already learned that the Brownie Box kept memories

But those memories - yeah - at my mother's funeral they erupted - and now I am dealing with them - with a therapist who is really interested.

I remember you writing about bad food - and whatever else - I could look back - it has to be worse when there is bad food making you sick - have you thought that your ill-health from time to time now comes from then - your know - STRESS - REPRESSED MEMORIES - CHILDHOOD TRAUMA etc

I am sorry Adge - and I think sometimes I had it easier than many people here and maybe I did because I was an honest and obedient child but rebellious and angry and intelligent and let my mother know

Thinking of you Adge

Dec

[Adge]

I was very shy & obedient (though very angry & depressed) too @Owlunar

The photos of me as a child look dreadfully unhappy.

I was expected to care for my younger brothers from a very young age (younger than 10).

I'm the oldest of 5, with a 20 year gap between me & the youngest.

Thanks @Owlunar I'm thinking of you too.

I have a massive headache, so I've goto go.

Today was really tough, with too many triggers.

I have to go to bed, not knowing where I'm working tomorrow (or for how long) - because work just changed it all at 4.00pm this afternoon.

They told me no essential details, like where I have to go, who I'm working with, or when I finish tomorrow.

All of those uncertainties (factors) are major triggers for my CPTSD.

Good night Dec.

Adge

Adge

[Owlunar]

Good night @Adge

I hope you can get some sleep - that has to be the best thing but with CPTSD that can be hard to come by

Thining of you

Dec

Ah yes - you can find anything in clipart - even a guy sleeping with earplugs

I do not like uncertainty much either - I couldn't live with it constantly

[Owlunar]

Hi @Shaz51

Poor old Mr Shaz - I sorta get it and understand - maybe I am starting to like him and I don't even know him but his life sounds a bit like fifty shades of beige - if that makes any sense

Sun cancer - eryeah - I have to get bits off now and again and they are okay but still - we all need to be alert

And we have had hot weather in Melbourne lately too - hottest summer for some time - possibly since the 13-year-drought when we had to time our showers to 4 minutes and water our gardens alternate days and all sorts of other restrictions - 

Does the hot weather cause you increased probs with the poor little kidney - I feel as if I would like to take care of that as well - you know there is so much stuff in clipart I am wonderful if I can find a poor little kidney- anything might turn up

I told you Shaz- I found one

Yeah  (blink)

Both of you need a spare granny I think - sending my best thought to Shaz, Mr Shaz and Poor Little Kidney - personified

Dec💖💗💞

[Former-Member]

Thank you for being here @Owlunar,

You said:
"I know you are doing what you are doing from love"

Thanks for noticing Dec, even though youre not here to see. I dont think anyone 'sees' my fruits. But you see my heart & thats beautiful - to have my little bit of good acknowledged somewhere. Thank you. And yes, it really counts with God, I know.

And thanks for reminding me that God knows how hard things are for me. This made me tear with relief this morning, knowing the Lord is close, holds me dear, cares & sees the injustice happening. I dont understand it it all, but he does - why i'm treated so badly by my siblings & their families - its mostly subtle, causing so much self doubt (intrpretations \ perceptions) it hurts deeply. Really feeling it today.

. I think they just dont know me anymore because i lived 1200km away in Qld the last 20yrs. Once my children where gone - not even my sis had time for me (ouch!). My brothers have always been unhelpful. Takers mostly. And mum's MI - what a mess!

Dawned on me the other day God might be giving me this time with dad for a soul purpose for him.

I don't pretend to understand it all. And dont need to.

Yep, we'll look different in Heaven for sure - all the ungodliness burned off on entry. People who are very ungodly will be very small indeed, or be vapourised completely on entry & be no more. Thats wjat i believe, the thought of toxic sisters in heaven - i know God wont put up with that rubbish there. Thank goodness!
Hugzz your way Dec xox

Hello there too to my Faith-and-hope, Bubbles3 & my bird brother Adge. Apologies for not chatting much, hang in there! Hugzz

[Owlunar]

Hi @Former-Member

---

Yep, we'll look different in Heaven for sure - all the ungodliness burned off on entry. People who are very ungodly will be very small indeed, or be vapourised completely on entry & be no more. Thats wjat i believe, the thought of toxic sisters in heaven - i know God wont put up with that rubbish there. Thank goodness!

---

I really like that - all the ungodliness is burned of on entry - like a meteorite - it is vapourised like gases and the truth remains - those who have found their life making grand gestures may be small indeed if those grand gestures are from the wrong motives.

Here I am in Hobart on holidays and I am in my room getting over the migraine I got yesterday possibly from over-heating. My purpose was to see my relatives but after I have had a migraine I feel really whacked out - I came to visit from love but if I listen to God now may not be the right moment - I have never been one to crash into someone else's iife without good reason and today whatever else I should or might do I need to care for my own health first

Oh guess what - I just had a phone call from my aunt wondering if I was okay and she said to rign back later and seeing what we could work out - this is fantastic and what timing - I can take a break and maybe find a decent coffee somewhere in one of the many restaurents here and feel better if I take a walk in the fresh air - aw - that feels better

I understand - we can get worn down - the heat in Melbourne got to me yesterday and it was hot here too and okay in the airports and taxis etc but Melbourne has been unbearable humid lately

Now - for you - you are so precious to me - I feel as if I know you really well - yeah - your sibs are a weird lot and it's another thing we have in common and maybe it's our common faith - when we die and pass on I am sure there is something for us after death - even though it's nothing we can imagine - the truth will ne seen - and those of us who battle through life with tons of misunderstanding will be seen - I think - as being someone who has battled with uncertainty and had regrets -

I feel like getting dressed properly and finding something to eat that will give me more energy than Pringles and the rotten coffee in the room - I get back to you later Lapses -

But first - what you are doing for your Dad now may have a sole or soul purpose for him - think now on how the last few years have been for him with your mother suffering from some kind of mind control - which I think was strange but there you are - it was what it was - and your brothers with MI and your TS - anything like mine rushing in with grand-gestures to be seen 

This might be the time of peace for your dad -with proper food and someone who loves him close by - it must be so tough at times. My answers must be a little slow coming at times but my prayers - yes - you are in my prayers

Dec

[Shaz51]

Yes @Owlunar, a wonderful , caring , awesome granny called @Owlunar

starting to like him -- you would like Mr shaz very much @Owlunar 

yes it has been very hot up here , trying to drink extra water each day

I love the little kidney my friend xxxxxx

how are you today xx

I am a bit worried about my aunty which is making Mr shaz worry and anxious , they have done lots and lots of tests and found out she has two breaks in her back -- don`t know how

[Owlunar]

Yes @Shaz51

I am sure I would like Mr Shaz very much because you married him and that was after your career - or maybe during it and people are not what we imagine but we can learn - I am learning

And Poor Little Kidney - are you allowed to drink extra water in hot weather - I thought that would maybe overload the system but then - the kidney has to process water - you need extra water in hot weather

I have been drinking water like crazy down here - it's been hot and humid down here as well - I found the coffee in the room to be - ...................uninspiring - and this is 4.5 stars - the coffee I had in the 3 star motel I went to last March was better - but then - there are four restaurents here and I gladly pay $4.50 for a flat white and get up after enjoying it to the last drop and can leave the cup on the table - I bet you know that is worth it.

Anyway - I am seeing my rellies for lunch tomorrow - that will be great - except for a couple of funerals I haven't seen them for actually years now - both are getting on and seem to have a lot of medical problems - but tomorrow - they are picking me up and taking me out to lunch - wonderful

About your aunty and her back - two breaks and I guess I know how. I imagine she is getting on in years and has osteoporosis - that generation - whoops - that most likely my generation - didn't have the best diet in the world and it could be that a couple of her vertebrae have fractures in the processes or the bits that stick out of the spine - very important bits

I am so sorry - I have had some dramatic falls without fracturing anything - thanks God for that - I seem to have dense bones. I am wondering about your aunty now and thinking about her - and this is my choice - I will be thinking that when you find out you will tell us - 

That is not good news - I gather she has been in pain - maybe for a while

Sheesh - Life Can be a Pain

Thinking of all of your Shaz, Mr Shaz, Poor Little Kidney and Aunty with back probs

Not looking for a pic tonight - not for that bunch anyway - but you never know what I might come up with - I might get into clipart myself

Sending hugs to the Shaz family though

From the Dec............