Life can be a Pain

[Former-Member]

[Bubbles3]

Thanks @Faith-and-Hope

[Owlunar]

I really like what you have said about forgiveness @Faith-and-Hope - it's such a hard concept to explain - to define - to ask for - to accept

I had a councellor way back who struggled with what forgiveness meant - it was a long time ago - I think my mind was open to the challenge and our lives went different ways - as happens - and I have never been able to tell her what I found for myself - that forgiveness is everything to do with ourselves and nothing much about that other person

Art is not my strong point but I did a sketch once of my mother sitting in a "huff-for-her-to-go-off-in" similar to a sketch my ex-h did - with my mother sitting on a toilet driving this vehicle with a long train of trucks with bundles of stuff labelled - "Spoilt Christmases" - "Missed Oportunities" - "Terrible Fears" - "Wonderful Grudges" etc - I wish I hadn't lost it - or tossed it - it really freed my mind of the terrible state of mind my mother lived in all her life - sigh 

Over time it all went away - and important thought here for @Bubbles3 - the person we (insert required verb) to forgive doesn't care but they live with all those rotten ideas, never thinking about them - just wading knee-deep, waist-deep, totally over-their-head deep and never know the better life we seek and sometimes find

I love it that you put in so many Likes Faith - it lets me know you are reading and when you do comment - wow - you say a lot

Still thinking - still praying - loves of faith and hope and consider how hard it must be that your WH can't have a dx until he is ready - oh boy - I really do care and pray eventually the dawn will break for him

But that might be a tough time too

All the best Faith

Dec

[Owlunar]

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@Former-Memberwrote:
Thanks @Owlunar, beautiful reply. Youre a treadure you k ow 🙂 Sleep well.

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You are a treasure too @Former-Member - I guess we were not given the gift to see ourselves for a reason - we need that feedback from someone who sees us differently to the way we see ourselves

I had an inner vision after my long prayer a couple of nights back - we have had unpleasant weather in Melbourne - really hot and humid - not good for sleeping at all - and I prayed for a long time.

Whether I see my uncle or not is not in my hands but God's - true - and he doesn't take our Free Will but I did sorta understand something about our souls - and it's almost as if I could see - I couldn't but I seemed to understand that what is a small task in this life - even if circumstances prevent us from carrying out our intentions - the motivation for the task counts differently in heaven - because what we do from love is the much better thing - that which people do for self-serving reasons are quite different

I really like to read Ist Corinthians 13 - it says what I am trying to say so well - and I am fumbling for words

I know you are doing what you are doing from lovr and it really counts with God and he knows - and God knows how hard things are for you esp with your versions of TS

Of course the Grand Gestures of each of our versions of TS may look okay here on earth - they may look different in Heaven

Thinking of you Lapses

Dec

[Adge]

That was an excellent explanation of forgiveness @Faith-and-Hope With some really helpful suggestions.

It's a tough one - yes it's about letting go.

Because we're carrying the burden (of resentment or whatever it is).

Whereas the Bully or whoever did something - has probably forgotten all about it.

Strange how I can remember unpleasant events from 30 years ago. Yet the happy memories escape me (I can't remember them)...

Adge

[Shaz51]

an excellent explanation of forgiveness @Faith-and-Hope 

good afternoon @Adge, @Owlunar, @Bubbles3, @Former-Member

[Owlunar]

Hi @Adge

I understand what you are saying about the bad memories being so clear and having the good memories slip away until you wonder if you ever had any

A photographic memory is a handy thing to have - I really didn't understand logic after the first few weeks so I rote-learned as much as I good and passed the exam - I sometimes wonder if that was an unfair advantage but it wasn't written on my arms or on a piece of paper anywhere - however

I do remember my good times - I was very lucky with Dad's family and my mother's mother so I guess I have an advantage with the good memories - but at bad times they can seem ephemeral - I guess we need what my uncle suggested once - we all need a memory but we also need a forgetory

In my memories there are the times when I hid in the back yard behind the garage where it was dank and gloomy and the privacy was so much better than the over-crowding of too many people living in a house too small - and when I go to that dank place in my memories I have to say that the bright yellow flowers there - random weeds I guess but I liked them - are gentle and pretty and seem to care about me - and even now I don't remember what I thought about then but I do remember those flowers

Thinking though Adge - memories are what they are - the unpleasant ones seem to be in charge and the good ones harder to find - but they are a huge part of our life and this life is the only one we have

I really hope you can invent a forgetory

Dec

I guess you can put any memories here Adge

[Owlunar]

Hi @Shaz51

Sometimes I just never know what pics I have saved on any given day - I hope this Sunday is a reasonable one for you - and Mr Shaz with his sore knees which I really understand

The weather is cooler and fresher in Melbourne today after hot and windy and unpleasant for a few days - I really feel like getting some new clothes before I go away but I am staying in a city - small city - yes - but still a city - I might feel more like shopping tomorrow or when I am away

But I do have enough clothes actually - amazing what I had when I started looking - and the forecast is for cooler weather

Thinking of you today

Dec

[Adge]

Not feeling at all well today, dizzy & nauseous etc.

Maybe I should have gone to the Dr after my car accident on Friday afternoon.

I don't see that I could have sustained any injuries.

It's mainly emotional shock (still with me), & distress over not being able to get to work (when the car is being repaired).

I can relate to your experiences of hiding @Owlunar I hid in the back yard, to get away from the parental conflict (constant), & the squalor of our living conditions.

Traumatic amnesia (they call it) makes it very hard for me to remember virtually any of my young adulthood (& none of childhood).

Happy memories are there, I'm sure. Unfortunately I've never been able to remember them.

Adge

[Owlunar]

Hi @outlander

It's good to chat - yes - and keep in touch with what's happening in other people's lives

I have been packing stuff - or rather sorting out what I want to take - with changeable weather forecast - my lounge has my suitcase and stuff around on the furniture - sorted out my medication and paper-work and not thinking about my aunt with all this happening 

I had a bit of a look at your thread - you are baby-sitting again - annoying sisters - I wonder if you could rearrange that - eg - your middle sister is old enough to be on her own and if you just had the little one you might have to give her time but it might be rewarding - it's a thought. 

Personally I always liked choices even if I did take the path of least resistance most of the time - I hadn't thought of it until I wrote pages of stuff for my therapist but (sigh) yeah - I was younger than you are now and I had to care for both of mine when we went out at times and my bro is only a year younger than me and a pain - imagine being in charge of a teenager much taller than I am - and the little one who was busy whining that she wanted to do something fun - really great on public transport

I get it Outlander - I could enjoy doing stuff with my brother but the TWO OF THEM was a nightmare - egad - what did we do to deserve doing all the babysitting?

Your new pic is great - I really like it - I think it shows your life is getting better - I hope so - and mine - 

You were the person who gave me the idea of having an owl-avatar and now I have one of my watching over owls in the middle of a solar eclipse - I will be keeping this one

All the best with the sisters Outlander - eeeerrrrrrrgh  - what fun that has to be - I remember what I had forgotten - babysitter my sibs in public

Dec