Hi @Shaz51@Faith-and-Hope@utopia@Former-Member@outlander@Faith-and-Hope@Bubbles3@Adge
I haven't been in lately - I know - I get very introspective when things get rough and find I am not terribly useful and I also tend to keep things to myself during the hard parts - I don't need to but I do
When I fell and sprained my ankle it was bad enough but my back decided to get in on the act and that's when I withdrew feeling as if I had enough to complain about but everything is hopefully settling down for my trip next week
I wrote to my rellies - no answer yet - maybe they are still interstate but I have plenty to do in Hobart for a few days - I am looking forward to it but I haven't had the chance to go shopping for new clothes - luckily I have a pair of trousers and a shirt I haven't worn yet and I can shop in Hobart.
My new therapist is fantastic - she really wants to go into the things that have happened in my past with my mother and sister - and it hurts like the blazes going into the past and I walk out feeling washed out and my knees shake but then it doesn't bother me until the next time I go and talk about it - I think it really helps
Down inside somewhere I feel the deep pain of having my mother physically abuse me when I was young and then emotionally when I was older - with everything that has happened in my life I am really surprised that I managed to get through everything intact but I do remember the dark days when my son was in so much trouble and my parents were so horrible I kept away.
But I did learn something I have known or suspected for some time - there was a programme on mental illness on TV suggesting that when we get older mental illness is easier to heal - less likely to happen - really - I have noticed this myself - my life was just as shattered as anyone's could be back in my earlier years and I had times when I could not see that anything would ever get better
But they did - and I hope this helps other people- and yes - the past still hurts a lot and I am coming up to the bad time of year I always have had when my son was in prison - and then died - but I assure you it does get easier - maybe I run away from it less - I can still have bad days that really bring back memories of the darkness - but the darkness itself is in the past
I think I should start another thread on the subject of getting older and mental illness - I can still get pretty anxious at times but it matters less
Dec
