Groundhog Day - our thoughts and our stories finding our way along the journey

[Owlunar]

Hi @Former-Member

I understand what you mean about not being able to shake of that awful feeling - it's like getting soaked in the rain on the way to work and having to stay in wet clothes all day - you can't shake the feeling off

What do we do when we feel like that? - I wish I had a universal answer but I think we have to work it out in our own way - people can tell us how they deal with what they think we mean but alas - only we know really.

But it is a time to be kind to ourselves and if going to bed for the rest of the day and keeping ourselves as physically comfortable as we can is at least something. It might not turn off our thoughts and feelings but we can be warm and not worry about anything else except working through it all

Some people have a way of getting under our skin - in-laws - I have called such people outlaws - we married into their family and they already had opinions about everything and I felt like an outsider when I was married

I hope you are feeling better today - I hope you were able to sleep

Dec

[Former-Member]

Hi @Owlunar ❤️
Nice to see a message from you.
I hope your Sunday has been a good one and yours too @Former-Member ❤️

Yes, the inlaw (outlaw) can be very manipulative and controlling, but I don’t allow her to be and she’s not keen on that.

Went out for lunch and a look around at the shops. Just had a lie down.
Feeling much the same, but at least I was able to get out of the house.

How’s your kitty cat Dec? I lived in Melbourne many years ago and worked in the city.

Have you been doing your embroidery this weekend Enigma?

[Former-Member]

Good evening @Owlunar and @Former-Member and anyone else who may be reading this

So lovely to return and read your posts. Yes I can relate to both of you with in-laws as well - none of us have been very lucky with extended family have we, but we all have a loving daughter (mine is a bit lost but loves me a lot). We have a lot in common in many ways and I gain a lot from chatting with you both.

I have been to Victoria a few years back (visited Dalsford for a wedding) and loved it! I loved how an old convent there was converted into an art and jewellery gallery - and the old English style architecture of the buildings that contained a variety of shops & cafes. Was a real treat for me. I remember that I had to wear a jumper at night in February! We are still very hot and humid here on the East Coast North of Sydney - a big difference in temperatures. I loved Victoria - just skimmed past Melbourne and did not have much of a chance to see it.

Good to see you managed to get out of the house for abit @Former-Member. I find that can help me at times. How was your weekend @Owlunar - did you get out at all?

I embroidered for most of Saturday but did get out of the house today. Was feeling a little housebound and low - so needed some different scenery.  I woke up feeling low (that is unfortunately normal for me, I suffer nightmares most nights - not sure why). But we ended up going down to have lunch at the golf resort where we are building our new home. It just happened that the residents where having a golf day and a luncheon where they were auctioning oil paintings of the surrounding beaches - they were gorgeous (but pricey 😳).

The residents were so friendly - they greeted us with open arms and I have already been invited to dinners and golf tournaments by a couple. They asked if I played golf to which I replied "No, but I will give anything a try for fun". They liked that response so I am on my way to making friends - which is what I wanted.

Some people would think these people could be snobs - but I found the opposite. A lot of them were as friendly as country folk and seemed very happy - I was surprised. Now I am really looking forward to moving out there. It may help me overcome my anxieties and depression - that is the goal. It will be a sight me playing golf lol - hope no one will be too close in range aha 🤞🏌️🤕😝.

Then we went to a raffle my daughter was hosting and I won a major prize and a chicken roast (no, it wasn't rigged lol). So all and all a good inspiring day - it will help me through the bad ones. And I was feeling very low to start with - but I can socialise well with bravado at first when I have too - then I end up feeling better for it 

I would recommend to anyone to take risks in life this way - I figure what have we to lose 🤷‍♀️. I know when I had my breakdown I could not have done it then, and I am not 100 percent yet, but improved enough to give it a go. As long as I keep a hands distance with toxic people - but I find most people look for the same thing in these situations I was in today - looking for good company. And are usually okay. So feeling more upbeat now.

I hope the evening is relaxing for you both. I am holding onto the good feelings of this day hoping if will offset the low morning moods. I will just have to visualise then my golf strikes and everyone ducking...... 💜

[Former-Member]

That’s really good that you had a nice day @Former-Member 💜
With all that you go through, you certainly deserve some nice times.
Lots for you to look forward to with the move.
Golf, new friends etc......
👍🌸🌺🌷

[Former-Member]

Thank you @Former-Member. It will help me navigate around some of the really big obstacles I face. The boost I needed. Now to make the most of it.....

My daughter still struggles so at times it's hard, but if I don't the depression will gobble me up. And then I am not good at helping no one, including myself. A leap of faith is urgent.....and it's showing some promise today.

Hope your daughter is going okay - I do know the worry when a loved one is ill and how taxing emotionally this is. And all the family conflict on top for you - not good. I hope you are treating yourself often. What do you find relaxes you for abit? You deserve happiness too. Thinking of you 💞

[Former-Member]

I do deep breathing when really anxious @Former-Member
Make a cuppa and sit, maybe put tv on for background noise, distraction.
Sometimes I’ll watch funny utube videos.
I used to read, draw and do craft, but don’t have the energy anymore.
My energy goes into trying to be a good mum, while she’s still home with me.
My energy gets zapped driving backwards and forwards to uni. I’m not too good at driving in chaotic traffic. Getting a bit used to it. It’s taken a while to sort which way is less chaotic.
Still have appointments coming up and operation.
Not looking forward to it all and try not to think about it. Like you, I take each day as it comes.

I know how hard it is for you with your daughter. It would be so hard not knowing what’s around the corner. It’s good that you are able to keep busy so you don’t have to think about it 24/7.

I find it hard to know when to push myself and when not to. If I push at the wrong time, I get very sick.
Years ago I worked too much, not knowing that I had complex PTSD etc. I got glandular fever and kept working full time. End result myalgia encephalitis on top of other issues. Push, push, push, that was me. So now I’m a bit of a mess.

Anyway, I’m sure you have had lots of up and downs as well.

The real me likes to achieve, so feeling the way I do every day is extremely hard for me. I don’t enjoy not achieving. Doing housework and getting through the day isn’t achieving for me.

I don’t like who I’ve become. I know we’re supposed to be happy where we are on the way to where we are going, but I’m not.
The real me likes to travel and meet people. That person doesn’t exist at the moment and hasn’t for years.

Bit of a rant tonight. 😳🤔😀

Feel free to share what you’re comfortable with. It’s nice to get to know you.

Sleep time very soon.
💜

[Former-Member]

Rant all you like @Former-Member - it's so wonderful getting to know you too. I am about to shut eye, just wanted you to know I read your post with interest and will respond tomorrow. Sweet dreams my friend 😘😴

[Former-Member]

Tried no sleep meds. Woke straight away with panic attack.
Night night @Former-Member 💜

[Former-Member]

Good morning @Former-Member

How are you today? It may be a helpful to you to discuss withdrawing "slowly" off your sleep meds with your doctor. Going off them cold turkey will induce high anxiety and they say is not a good idea.

I would like to come off mine at some time, but I have been on them for some time and so it will be a very gradual process.

Slow deep breathing is helpful to calm - I also find this 😊 I know the feeling of low energy - feel shocking g today as I tossed and turned and didn't really nod off until 3:00am. It's getting bad now - will have to speak to my doc about it and employ some strategies to enhance earlier and better sleep.

You will travel and meet people again one day @Former-Member. The situation with your daughter is new and will take time to adjust. Your priority of being there for her and getting through the day under the circumstances is a very good achievement. When the dust settles in time you will the right time to be @Former-Member and do the things that make her happy. 

If I don't push I would probably do nothing the way I feel presently - so doing things within my limits is good otherwise my mind would take over. I think we work out our own limits. If we push too much we step back a bit etc. You will find your equilibrium in time - you have a lot on your plate at the moment. I think once the operation is out of the way and things settle back to more normal - your zest will return 😊 That's what I am like.

My friend who has cancer is very sick from the chemo. He had difficulty breathing the other day and got a real scare. His wife won't leave his side now. It's not good but I am still hoping he will come good 😥.

I have to go up the road today and may do some shopping. Don't feel like it as I am exhausted. I hope to get my sleep in order soon as it's effecting my health and getting me down. Wish me luck 🤗. Have a good day @Former-Member 💞

[Former-Member]

Sorry that your sleep wasn’t good either @Former-Member
I take Magnesium powder at night, supposed to help. And bought an oil that’s supposed to help. I put the oil in my feet at night.
I am withdrawing slowly off the sleep meds and am down to a quarter.
They are very good for short term and will use them when I have to.

Have you had counselling or talked to someone about your traumas? Could be reason for nightmares. I hope you don’t mind me bringing it up.

I’m still having morning coffee and need to get the washing on.

Hope you can rest and relax some time today. 🌷🌸🌺