Grief & loss - may be triggering

[Former-Member]

I hear you @Adge, and relate to much of your experience with family, and the workplace (though currently on a sabbatical from the latter). F&H introduced me to the concept of feeling a 'sense of community' by spending time in public places like a cafe or library or window shopping. Pubs would be good but for the alcohol & gambling temptations. Loneliness is a killer scurge in our culture, the root of muxh MI (in my opinion) that needs toWbe takenemore seriously. Beingdon theoforums here has'aided much of my psych progressrby helping me connect to all of you. You sharing your story helps me a lot. We cant be in each others physical space but just knowing you're here, and keep going helps. (you hearing this @soul - miss you). Press on Adge, i just had a little shine that you're gonna have a breakthrough soon in your life. Hang in there. You matter -are loved ❤

Hiya there @Sophia & Appleblossom ❤❤

[Adge]

My psych has wanted me to spend time in cafes or shops (in my own time), she has suggested that too.

Maybe her idea is to feel a "sense of community" (like you said), but she doesn't tell me her reasons.

I have virtually never done that, because I cannot stand the idea of sitting in a cafe on my own, I just don't like it at all.

I never buy a coffee or any drink when out, I can't really afford to.

Shopping I do several times a week, just functionally (not spending time).

There is no gambling allowed at pubs in WA (only at the one Casino), so no temptations...

Yes I think you are right @Former-Member Loneliness & feeling isolated certainly makes MI or MH issues worse.

Yes I'm gona have a breakthrough, absolutely... I must keep on believing that.

Feeling stuck, victimised or hopeless just grinds me down (or anyone).

You matter too lapses, a lot.

Adge

Adge

[Appleblossom]

Libraries have been the best place for me to be alone but social out in the community. 

The main reason I felt alright about having a coffee on my own was because when travelling I had eaten out a bit and sat in restaurants (and ordered) when I needed a sense of protection sometimes.  I have broken through the oddness of it.  Like you money was enormous issue as I begrudged paying for seating, but as I am now fairly used to socialising like that, I meet many people who will bring prepared sandwich or salad and only buy the coffee ... so I often do that in a food court ... now without the slightest concern.

Things can improve @Adge Take care

Hey @Former-Member @Sophia1 @Faith-and-Hope @TAB

[TAB]

Hi @Adge sorry re coffee. Last time I wanted better than instant went to machine at supermarket. It was broken lol. Maybe I’ll get one from servo next time. I just remembered I used to have breakfast and coffee on own sometimes at cafe. Sorta forgot that. Hi @Appleblossom sorry Im really tired and it’s sleeping weather. Only thing is have to be up at 4am.well have anzac day off found out. Can sleep in then

[Faith-and-Hope]

@Adge ..... I started going to a coffee shop as a student.  Money was tight, so it was something special, and like @Appleblossom said, it was just the coffee ..... I would take a small bag of nuts or dry cereal, or a biscuit to munch on, and read a book, or did a crossword puzzle ..... basically treating it like a library or park bench.  

Having something to concentrate on can help you get over feeling so self-conscious.

I like @Appleblossom‘s idea of a food court ..... take your own food, tea, coffee in a flask, and something to do .....

[Adge]

I recently mentioned to a phone support person - that my grief over the loss of my Dad, is still largely unexpressed.

It went inside (suppressed) I feel, when I could not access support - or feel heard after Dad died, 2 years ago.

The phone support person strongly encouraged me talk about my grief & loss, with my psychologist.

I have attempted to express my grief with psychologist on several occasions - yet I've been met with a minimising or avoidance response. A brief response, then she changes the subject (or leaves it at that).

That is exactly why I have been unable to work through grief issues with psychologist. I do not feel comfortable talking about it with her - because when I do, her response seems to indicate that she has not heard what I've said, or does not think that it is important.

I briefly raised feeling a great sense of loss today (in appointment) - the response did not even acknowledge my grief (or loss).

Instead the immediate question she asked was "Don't you feel or believe in a spiritual connection with your Dad" - That response (question) is an avoidance of acknowledging my sense of loss.

Very unhelpful, it shuts down any discussion of my grief or loss...

Adge

[Faith-and-Hope]

https://www.griefcentrewa.org.au

@Adge .... these people might help.

[Adge]

@Former-MemberYes my neighbour's invite was a blessing, it gave me a circuit-breaker (from stress).

We've been taking it in turns to invite each other over, every few months.

She didn't seem to want me to leave, so I ended up staying 3 hours instead of 2....

Where in my body do I feel that emotion (sounds like iRest program), I've been trying to identify that for the past 6 months or so.

Anxiety is in my tummy, despair & dissociated numbness (feeling) is in my forehead. I'm not sure where anger is...

Yes I'm more stiff & sore without my yoga classes, & less relaxed.

Natural inflammatories like omega3 & Tumerick, I didn't know there were any...

Adge

[Adge]

Thanks for reminding me about the Grief Centre (WA) @Faith-and-Hope A good prompt for my memory...

I did extensive searches for grief support 2 years ago, & I found them (then).

I got in contact, but was unable to attend their support group.

It might be time to try again...

Adge

[Former-Member]

Hi @Adge, saw your 👍(likes / thinking of me) on my dads thread & popped in to see how w ya going. HOW R U? Whatchya doing this w'end? Yoy kniw you do well to keep working like you do ⭐⭐⭐⭐ Proud of you! How's the new budgies going? Did u swe my question on GoodMorning thread about 'pufin' birds (is there such a thing? ). Anyway, thanks for the likes. You 'hang-in-there' ❤❤❤