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Grief & loss - may be triggering

Re: Grief & loss - may be triggering

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@Adge, ❤🐦🐦

Re: Grief & loss - may be triggering

@Adge @Former-Member

thinking of you both often....so much coming at you from every angle...

I know that feeling...mine was a meteorite storm...calmed somewhat now....

still much rumbling going on though..

I wish for you both for the storm to pass......nature to enter your hearts and calm you...ground you..

as you rise even stronger yet again from each painful circumstance...

you are both valued on here...

even when I dont write I think of you..

I have to ration myself...HeartHeartHeart

Re: Grief & loss - may be triggering

Aww, thank you @Sophia1, thats really nice of you to say 🙂 ❤ Thank you for caring, for saying ❤

@Adge, are you doing ok?

Re: Grief & loss - may be triggering

Sorry @Former-Member I didn't see your message (post) until early this morning.

I had to leave for work, so I couldn't respond.

Still struggling, made worse by work reprimand (today).

They're so officious, deliberately threatening (in text communication), show no care or appreciation for good work (efforts) done.

Only just home now, need to rest.

I appreciate your care & concern.

@Sophia1Its' lovely to see you about again.

I know you're in some pain, with limitations & much recovery needed.

Adge

Re: Grief & loss - may be triggering

Your Bird picture & Psalm are lovely thanks @Former-Member

I agree that it would be far better for me to have company (not be alone), especially when stressed or dissociated, etc.

Unfortunately, living alone (for 8 years), all my home time is on my own (not helpful).

I dissociate much less, & feel far more grounded (present) when I have meaningful interactions with people (even telephone conversation). It's the best antidote for me...

That does not include work interactions, where I am often barely acknowledged as even being present (physically there).

I cannot talk to my family members (especially Mum) for support or connection at times like this - because they (esp Mum) are often a major cause of distress themselves.

It was my family environment of severe neglect, emotional A & SA - that continued my trauma (&CPTSD) for over 20 years in the first place.

Adge

 

Re: Grief & loss - may be triggering

@Adge

Sorry to hear that you have been going through all this. I have noticed officiousness in the disability area ... a lot of butt covering ... and the casualisation of the workforce has had disastrous consequences for many people.Woman Sad

Being told to grieve is unhlepful and should not be a part of a counsellor/psych/pdoc's work practise.

We grieve when there is loss ... in our own unique way ... noone ever needs to be told to grieve ... 

Go gently with you @Adge

 

 

Re: Grief & loss - may be triggering

@Adge @Former-Member

isolation is debilitating.. I have been doing that on and off for quite some time since son went missing...

very hard to socialise with friends or family..stopped trusting everyone just about..

I tried a book club but they were so rigid and serious....also same lady chose books all of the time..all American authors..so stopped going..

will try an art class when recovered enough..

are there any walking groups or groups of interest through your library or community centre....?

Re: Grief & loss - may be triggering

Thanks @Appleblossom Very understanding...

My friend says that Not For Profit employers (which Disability services mostly are) - are the absolute worst to work for.

"Tight-ar...s..s" she calls them, yes they certainly are....

Yes it's very hard being told that I need to grieve something (a loss), when I'm not told how to do that...

Besides, I don't want to grieve the loss of my promised inheritance (from Dad) - when it's rightfully ours (my brothers' & mine), not Mum's.

Dad would want that for us.

@Sophia1Yes isolation is debilitating, as you said.

I've tried so many activities & groups, yet I've often had similar experiences to what you describe with the book club...

I was in a local walking group, which suddenly closed (stopped) 12 months ago, with no explanation. There are no other local walking groups nearby (so far).

I went to the local community centre yesterday (which is often locked up) - & carefully checked the entire noticeboard.

There were only sporting activities & self-defence classes, mostly during weekdays (business hours). Not suitable or possible to attend. I will keep looking.

I still do my 2 yoga classes every week (not running in school holidays) - I've been doing those every week for 6 &1/2 years.

Adge

Re: Grief & loss - may be triggering

@Adge

That is good to hear...I have found notices in the oddest places...

supermarket notice board...arcade notice board..shop window notice board...

also flyers at library and notices in local paper...visitors information centre also..

you will find somethin

 

Re: Grief & loss - may be triggering

Checking community centre noticeboards was @Faith-and-Hope's suggestion.

It was a good reminder, because I hadn't remembered to do that in over a year.

I forgot to mention that I have been going to a fortnightly MH lunch group on a Tuesday, for the past 6 months...

It's not a discussion (support) group, it's just lunch. Most of the members are largely non-verbal (don't talk), so I talk more to the volunteers there.

It's a nice welcoming atmosphere.

I had to drop a day's work (make myself unavailable), in order to attend the lunch group. Now my finances are in arrears, I've been earning far too little to even pay the bills (major financial stress).

I will have to go back to working 5 days a week (again), just to earn enough money to live on.

When I do go full-time (or 5 days) working again - I won't be able to attend that MH lunch group anymore (or any daytime group)

Adge

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