Grief & loss - may be triggering

[Adge]

Is Philosophy back in fashion @Appleblossom I didn't know that...

Yes, they were a bit crabby, but I still majored in philosophy.

Most of my 1st Degree was in philosophy & Ethics.

I'm very rusty on my philosophy now, because it was a long time ago.

I can see a lot of Relativism strongly promoted in society, especially in recent years - Relativism is a branch of philosophy, & it underlines a lot of official policies (& even psychology).

Adge

[Appleblossom]

@AdgeI know a fella who is running lots of philosophy classes for adults and did it in schools as well.  There is a move to have it in schools. As a subject it seemed to get bogged down in pedantics for a while, but Stephen Pinker is bringing it back.  or maybe thats just my opinion. My daughter was into all that. I was glad I kept my old Philosophy texts, but I ended up doing Politics instead.

Yeah .. about the relativism ... but geology is a little grounded in non relativistic realities .. no matter the political spin on issues.

[Adge]

My Dad was a Geologist & then a science teacher.

Yes grounded in reality.

Adge

[Former-Member]

Woke to my mum crying. I'm not sure why, accept maybe she's sad about dad, and sad she's not here. I felt guilt & fear (what have i done now stuff). Or is she jealous that i am here and shes not and that i have her dogs following me everywhere now... Then i realised her sadness

is not anout me - she just wants to be here.  Not long before she died she snapped at me "yes i know, you're replacing me" and turned her nose up and looked away.  But maybe she's just missing being here. Or is the whole thing a figment of the imagination.

I am very careful to stay out of her room, and not sit in her seat and to take care of her garden...

I hope its not real, that the thought is an echo from the past and i hope she's not trapped behind a mirror looking in angry and sad.  I pray for 'peace' (does God have mercy on tormented souls in heaven?). Hang on, torment is not allowed in heaven - therefore

Its my mind playing tricks or trying to work out something from the past, or grief, i donno. My conscience is clear - i did my best with her. Poor mum ❤

How are you going @Adge? Any grief stuff surfacing for you? Poor @Owlunar's suffering atm (hi Dec), and many on the forums are sad others have left.

I've lost contact with nearly everyone because i dont get notifications or able to tag like before. But also find it hard to keep up, and rrmember. 

Hope my girl is at peace. The image i get for her is different - i picture her alive, vibrant, full of compassion and joyful,  among a huge family of God and angels busy learning and evolving and loved & giving love - with those famous hugz of hers. Oh what a treasure she is/was/is.

Yesterday dad asked "have you seen mum today? Saw her yesterday and she said she was visiting today" he said. I gently reminded him she's died (which was actually really hard to say), and he said "no not that mum" them stuttered trying to find words...  I said "i don't know who you mean" he said "i don't know what i mean either" and smiled.  Always had that humour.  Poor dad 🙂

How's your grief work Adge, Hope you and cat and birds are ok Adge (wont say work cause know it never is lol). You ok?

@Appleblossom @Sophia1 @Faith-and-Hope  @BlueBay  @Dec, how you guys going? 

Just needed to get that out. Thanks for listening 🙂

[Former-Member]

[BlueBay]

Hugs @Former-Member ❤️❤️❤️

[Former-Member]

Thanks @BlueBay ❤ hope you're on the mend.

[BlueBay]

Very slowly @Former-Member xxx

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hugs from me too @Former-Member .... ❤️💐❤️

Morning @BlueBay 👋💕

[Owlunar]

Hi @Former-Member

I'm okay - just feeling rather flat after the anniversary and also the anitbiotics I am taking are upsetting my stomach a bit so I haven't been up to much - but really I am okay

Your Mum - ah - she planted ideas in you before she died - as you said she knew you were going to supplant her and she had some kind of MI I am sure - and my mother did something similar to me so I do understand what you are talking about

I had some spiritual invention from my minister who blessed my home for me and that was well over three years ago now and my mother hasn't harrassed me since so it might be great if you could approach your Anglican minister about this - and my reason is that both of our mothers were unkind to us during life and that can leave injuries - well - blessing my house helped me and it might help you to

As you say there can be no torment in heaven - we really do believe this so hold onto it - and the feeling that your mother is trapped somewhere as in a mirror - no - that was something from your dream state before you woke up - 

It's okay Lapses truly and I do understand - your mother gave you a really hard time and now you are living in her house and remember - you can leave anytime you feel like it - as lonely as you are likely to feel in your own home it is a choice you have and to mean - having choices is always important - so you can choose to stay with your Dad for the time being knowing your have your own home still - 

And your mother hasn't been gone for long - I had the feeling my son haunted me and maybe you are experiencing something similar - this will pass I promise you

And you are right - you did your best with your rather strange old mother - and your mother was a tormented person when she was alive - your conscience can be clear because you have always done your best for her - even now you have picked up her role as in being a carer for your Dad and he is better off

I suggest you make an appointment with your minister and talk to him/her about spiritual things - I can talk all day about them - talking face-to-face with someone might really help put things into perspective though - it's an interesting subject and people have different views - I feel you are grieving badly - and I did after my mother died too - a complex relationship leads to a complex grief

I am okay - just really tired atm - I have an infected in-grown toenail and the antibiotics are making me feel really gross and yukky - I was as busy yesterday as I normally am on Fridays and my doctor told me I have to see a podiatrist about getting the hooked nail taken out of the the nail-bed again

And yesterday - the person who took me shopping interrupted me constantly - it was not the most fun time I ever had doing my shopping and I dunno - I feel I listen to people without butting in that much - everyone does some of the time but this lady did it constantly

I felt the need to say that because I have things to do today I am putting off again as I have been this week - week after the anniversary - I don't expect to feel brilliant

So I understand Lapses and you can always talk about these things with me even if I have to think about them - which I do sometimes as I did with this message - you can talk about your uncertainties - I really do understand and you are my special sister - the one I wish I had in real life

So all the best - I really care about you

I'm trying to wrap myself around you

Dec