Am Not Coping

[Owlunar]

Hi @Zoe7

It's so great you post all the party-threads - we can have fun just preparing for them - and then the parties are times when we can all go cracker-jack

I have read you are not well and I commisserate - not well myself - knee operation - getting over that - son's birthday is still coming - I will survive that and like @Faith-and-Hope - I feel like a wet rag with what could be a virus - my daughter has had that - maybe everyone else in Australia has - 

Thinking of you though - all the time

Dec

[Zoe7]

@Faith-and-Hope 

[CheerBear]

@Zoe7 - biggest ginormousest mega huge thank you for all of the effort you put in to that. It feels like forever ago that we made the deal about the party if we were both here in November.

Thank you for sharing the magic that is you today. We can't take away the not-so-good memories of things, but making new great ones helps so much. You've made that happen today.

💗

[Faith-and-Hope]

You do that so well @Zoe7 ...... ♥️

(Is this love-heart red on your end ? Someone else said it is coming up bllack for
them .....)

[Phoenix_Rising]

@Zoe7 I'm whispering here...

The past few weeks have been so so so hard here in Forum Land, but after my conversation today with the important person, I truly believe that the muddle is going to get unmuddled. It's HARD. It's so so so hard, and I know it isn't all going to be fixed five minutes after NikNik gets home. But the conversation today has restored my faith that this is a safe space...and indeed, is likely to become safer still as we repair the storm damage. I so very very badly hope you will stay in Forum Land Zoe...but I respect your choice to leave. You truly are my second favourite person here after CheerBear. Night. 

[Zoe7]

As I said a few days ago - I will be taking a step back from the forum. There are many reasons for this but the main one is I need to look after myself. I have found it very difficult of late to both provide and seek support here.

I do find it extremely difficult to ask for support, especially when I am at my lowest - all those long-held fears, betrayals, let-downs and disappointments come to the fore. So it takes alot for me to openly ask for support. Although there have been amazing people here that have offered that support, I have also been made feel like I should not have asked for it (whether this is real or perceived by me - how I feel is the issue here) - and that is no way to feel in a place where supporting each other is the basis of our interactions.

I have also felt guilty that I have not been able to offer the same level of support to others that I have done previously and on occasions have had to leave when I have needed the same support but can see others in distress or needing that support also. 

I do believe that I have come to a stage where seeing people in constant distress or pain is having a detrimental effect on my own well-being. I am not 'running-away' as such - but taking a step back for the time being to minimise the very real effects that seeing people I care about here in pain is having on me. This has been a cumulative thing over many. many weeks and I am not in any emotional or physical state to be able to deal with it.

In time I do hope to come back however for now I need to remain more in the background or off-forum altogether - with the one exception that I will continue to connect with @Faith-and-Hope when I am able to. Losing that connection for me would be the end of the road completely - and I am sure most who read this will not be at all surprised about that.

I do hope that the supportive and compassionate 'atmosphere' that once existed here on the forum can return - and quickly - and that each and every member can feel safe, included and cared about whatever they are dealing with. This is a unique environment, and one where there is a real sense of belonging and community - please do not lose that!

[Sans911]

@Zoe7 I understand, but you know you'll be missed. I will maintain my distance at your request. You will welcome back her with the biggest of open hearts and arms.

[Zoe7]

@Faith-and-Hope The heart is black  for me too Hon 

Do not ever underestimate just how much you mean to me or how much I truly care for you. Although I will not be 'around' the forum - I will be around for you if needed - just tag me!

I love you Hon 

[Former-Member]

@Zoe7I understand and you need to do what is right for you so I respect your decision. Look after yourself and you will always be in my thoughts 

[outlander]

@Zoe7 you have to do whats best for you. Please take good care of yourself and keep reaching out for offline supports too. ❤