Am Not Coping

[Shaz51]

I do not think tonight will be the same - but I hope I am wrong.-- fingers crossed that you are wrong my sister @Zoe7, postive thinking xoxo

[utopia]

@Owlunar love the image with the colour painted footsteps. My sense of humour is a bit wicked - so @Faith-and-Hope if it didn't cause any trouble to you or your kids - I'd love to see WH's face if the tradesman did make a huge beautifully coloured mess like that.
@Zoe7. I got out of the car!! Didn't go and sit on any of my rocks - but walked over to the edge and just looked out towards the direction of Melbourne and looked at the view and listed to a few of the Cockies. Was there for ten minutes or so. Then drove around the mountain roads I haven't been on for months - just dreaming of what sort of property I'd like to buy if I was rich. It's an old habit that I enjoy.
Glad to hear you and Toby went for a walk again. Fresh air is wonderful. The city smog was hard to deal with in hospital. Now I'm home I can see stars in the sky again.
@Owlunar - could you retag me to your astronomy thread again please. I'd like to try to follow along & hope to learn some of the constellations.

[Zoe7]

I am going on how I am feeling at the moment @Shaz51 I am getting pretty good at predicting when the night is not going to be great and that is actually helping me to get through it. Instead of reaching a point where I am so low that I start 'planning' things - I now try and ride it out without putting too much pressure on myself. It does still get quite hard at times but I see being able to acknowledge when things aren't great and doing what I have to do to get through is in itself positive.

[Zoe7]

@Faith-and-Hope I took Toby for a drive with me to get the rocks... you wouldn't BELIEVE but there was also one with believe on it with a butterfly - they must have know I was coming lol

[Shaz51]

yes i totally understand my sister @Zoe7, holding your hand darling

[Zoe7]

Awesome @utopia - you did need the aeorogard after all lol you achieved far more than you set out to achieve today and that is wonderful. I didn't take Toby for a walk - just a drive with me - that really was all I could manage today myself. 

You are sounding so much more positive already my little cocky friend - I know there is still a way to go but today is a start - very, very happy for you  (must have been the song lol)

[Zoe7]

@Former-Member It seems like I am posting non-stop atm but I wanted this to be one just for you 

I have been thinking of you so much over the last couple of days. Every thought has been hoping you are ok and wishing for you that the brightest light would shine on you and deliver with it some true happiness. I know you read a lot of posts but do not post much yourself. You do step in when you can see someone is really struggling to let them know that you are hearing their struggle. You do not ask for anything in return and you do not ask for support yourself. So I really want you to know that everything you do is very much appreciated, you are highly valued and I (for one) am here for you if needed.

Hugs and love...

Zoe 

[Faith-and-Hope]

Lol @utopia ...... not sure what would be more colourful .... the footprints or WH's face ..... 😂

So glad you made it to your mountain today ..... and I find it relaxing to drive along ocean roads ..... or tree canopied forest roads ..... in my "escape pod" ..... 😊

@Zoe7 .....

💐💕

[Zoe7]

Thanks my sister @Shaz51 

[utopia]

@Zoe7. My chemical sensitivities won't allow for Aeroguard or similar products. But no mozzies and I didn't sit down - so the ants didn't get a chance to bite. So today my thighs are free of insect bites. Lol.
I'm so proud of how you are now able to work out if you might have some struggle coming up in the night. And that you can put some steps in place to be safe and ride it out.
And I can see you keep improving along this line, even as more progress is made to reduce the severity. You are one amazing woman my friend.
Sending you my love. ♥♥